HA HA, APRIL FOOL!!

A stalwart but diminished group gathered at the Kampongbaru International Soccer and Volleyball Stadium for the DH3 April Fool’s Hash. Perhaps some thought it all a hoax and didn’t think that we would actually go through with it. After some confused and aimless checking the hounds finally shook off their sluggishness and "On, On" was the cry with the intrepid walkers trying to be FRB’s. Through the scenic suburb past shattered houses, with FRB’s forced to follow the fabulous falsies laid by 2DOGS. Walkers took a detour while the rest made a quick circuit around the Comoro roundabout and then on-on through a particularly scenic cornfield guarded by an irate goat, as smelly and ill-mannered as any Hasher. BABE had used his considerable experience (and affinity) with dumb animals to train it to butt errant Hashers (which was everyone).

The cunning trail led to Don Bosco auditorium where the pack, clearly subdued from respect for the great man rather than a result of their own exertions, sedately followed a well-concealed trail. A check halt reunited the group, and then on-on via banana and corn fields. Walkers were again rested from the rigours of a 2DOGS trail, while Glenn decided to explore some new ground all by himself. He alleged that BABE had sent him on a false trail, but really, is that at all believable? Coming from a lawyer for goodness sake!

The religious theme continued up the Stations of the Cross, with a hearty sing-a-long ably led by She of the Dulcet Tones, our very own Songmistress, while the pack enjoyed the sweeping views.

It was then On Down through more ruins and fields to the final Hold Check where walkers and perhaps some others (was CUT OFF seen skulking away?) headed On Home. FRB’s took off, unfortunately some along false trails. Being totally slack and without commitment SALSA and HAIDROLIK were the ultimate SCB’s, cutting in front of the Hares themselves, grinning like Cheshire cats and revelling in their SCB-ness. Shame, you pricks, shame.

On Home came too quick for some; they seemed to be panting for more.

The verdict? Any trail that allows SCRUBBER and BROWN EYE to be the FRB’s must have something going for it. On-Outstanding!

On his recent trip back home, TUPPER invited fellow Hasher BROWN EYE to his farm for a few days on his way to Indonesia.

Unknown to TUPPER, BROWN EYE is a bit of a ventriloquist and he decided to have a bit of fun. So he said to TUPPER, "May I speak to your horse?"

TUPPER laughed and said, "The horse can’t talk!"

TUPPER looked astonished and exclaimed, "The horse talked!"

BROWN EYE continued his illusion and asked if he could speak to the cow.

TUPPER laughed again and said, "The cow can’t talk!"

"Sure he does," replied BROWN EYE and proceeded to talk to the cow. "Hello Mrs. Cow, how are things in the field today?" He threw his voice again and said, "I'm having a wonderful day in the field. I have been eating this beautiful green grass all day and later I will be getting milked. It has been a fine day."

TUPPER again looked astonished and exclaimed, "The cow talked!"

BROWN EYE decided to push his luck one more time and said, "TUPPER, can I talk to your sheep?"

TUPPER suddenly became alarmed and flustered and cried, "No, you can’t talk to sheep. The sheep lie!"

The runners on the first run were: SLOPS, PNS, SCRUBBER, WATER RAT, BUPS, NEW MOOSE, TURTLE, SQUIRREL & BUMBY.
There is no Run Report for Run No. 1. The first report on record is for Run No. 4. It was written by PNS. Here it is in full.

Running through the corn fields was this diverse set of runners from US of A, Canada, South Australia and us Aussies. Where the stuff are we going was the sound as we cum across the first cheque. ‘Oh, a falsie’ as we kept going on to the main road.

The locals were intrigued as to the happenings going on with this mob of yobbo’s terrorising the countryside. On On then we headed bush past this little kampong as a young girl appeared out of nowhere, was she safe, ‘sure was’ was the reply as Slops has been nicked and can’t get it up because of his age.

On up this hill and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and we weren’t getting any closer till we decided to put a cheque in and went left down like billy-goats. It was rough but we made it to the road and continued on our merry way. The two yanks speaking many dialects of the local language, didn’t know what they were saying and neither did they.

Down Downs:

Kev Hunter (no relation to Rick) from Us of A. Hash name DIAK

His mate from CIVPOL – from Us of A also Hash name DIAK ALLAY

Daryll Davies from Canada – Hash name NEW MOOSE

Andrew from Chubb – CHUBBY

Cumming Runs:

# 6 – 04 JUN Slops

# 7 – 11 JUN TBA

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - ‘Dave Barry’

Hare and Hounds as an adult sport began in the fall of 1867 with a group of London oarsmen who wanted to keep fit during the winter. Also called "Paper Chasing" or the "Paper Chase," the game became very popular after its introduction on Wimbledon Common in 1868 by the Thames Hare and Hounds. Early clubs called themselves "Hare and Hounds" or simply "Harriers."

The Hash House Harriers as we know it today was founded in Malaya (now Malaysia) by Albert Stephen Ignatius Gispert, an English chartered accountant.

It was sometime during 1937 when Gispert (or simply "G" as he was known to his friends) acquired a taste for the paper chase with the Springgit Harriers in Malacca (also in Malaya). Shortly after being transferred by his accounting firm to Kuala Lumpur he gathered

together a number of fellow expatriate businessmen to form a harrier group. The first run was held in December 1938 and the founding members included Cecil H Lee, Frederick "Horse" Thomson, Eric Galvin, H.M. Doig, and Ronald "Torch" Bennet.

The group's name came about primarily because local authorities required legal registration of the club. While the "Kuala Lumpur Harriers" would have appeared a logical choice, "G" decided instead to use the nickname for the Selangor Club where a number of the local harriers both lived and took their meals. It seems that due to its lacklustre food, the dining room was commonly referred to as the "Hash House."

Subsequently, the hash began spreading like wildfire and the number of hashes soon climbed into the hundreds by the early 1980s. At last count, in 1999, there are some 1,700 active hashes in over 180 countries, including approximately 350 in the United States.