Conflicts are a natural part of relationships; they may play out in a quick and simple way and they may take on a traumatic and devestating role in people's lives. Conflicts may also be nagging, repetitive conversations that take place over and over and over.

As always situations in our lives can be opportunities for us to become more aware about some element of our Selves or our lives and to grow beyond who we currently are.

If you find yourself in an ongoing conflict with someone, step back from the situtation, removing yourself and observing from the outside. Look at the role that you play in the conflict. How are you keeping the conflict going? Why are you keeping it going? What is your motivation?

We can only control our own choices. We are in control of our own choices. When a conflict is continuing it is because we are choosing to have it continue. If a conflict is resolved - if only because we walk away from it - it is because we choose to resolve it.

I read recently, in "Power Spirit" (I forget the author's name), that when we try to force someone to do something against their beliefs, both on a physical and emotional level, it is a rape. Trying to force someone to believe what we do, trying to force them to walk their path in the same way that we walk ours, trying to force them along our path, is a way of raping them.

Their path is their own; their beliefs are their own; their timing of lessons and growth is their own; their past and their motivations are their own. We can provide people with information and our perspectives but the rest is up to them. If they do not believe or if they are not ready to learn the lessons that you have learned we cannot force them to do so.

And what are your motivations behind your need to change the other person? Why are you pushing? Why are you fighting to have your way? What lesson about you is lying in this conflict? How can you use the conflict as a lesson to become more aware about life, about Self, about you?

Conflicts: an opportunity.

-Debbie Roswell-P; www.lifeunfolding.ca