Conflicts
Topic: Spirituality

Conflicts are a natural part of relationships; they may play out in a quick and simple way and they may take on a traumatic and devestating role in people's lives. Conflicts may also be nagging, repetitive conversations that take place over and over and over.

As always situations in our lives can be opportunities for us to become more aware about some element of our Selves or our lives and to grow beyond who we currently are.

If you find yourself in an ongoing conflict with someone, step back from the situtation, removing yourself and observing from the outside. Look at the role that you play in the conflict. How are you keeping the conflict going? Why are you keeping it going? What is your motivation?

We can only control our own choices. We are in control of our own choices. When a conflict is continuing it is because we are choosing to have it continue. If a conflict is resolved - if only because we walk away from it - it is because we choose to resolve it.

I read recently, in "Power Spirit" (I forget the author's name), that when we try to force someone to do something against their beliefs, both on a physical and emotional level, it is a rape. Trying to force someone to believe what we do, trying to force them to walk their path in the same way that we walk ours, trying to force them along our path, is a way of raping them.

Their path is their own; their beliefs are their own; their timing of lessons and growth is their own; their past and their motivations are their own. We can provide people with information and our perspectives but the rest is up to them. If they do not believe or if they are not ready to learn the lessons that you have learned we cannot force them to do so.

And what are your motivations behind your need to change the other person? Why are you pushing? Why are you fighting to have your way? What lesson about you is lying in this conflict? How can you use the conflict as a lesson to become more aware about life, about Self, about you?

Conflicts: an opportunity.

-Debbie Roswell-P; www.lifeunfolding.ca

Barriers
Topic: Spirituality
Ah, the frustration of barriers placed in our path, preventing us from achieving a goal, from moving forward, from acquiring, from happiness. We could do without them, don't you think? Or could we?

Barriers come in many forms - from psychological blocks that we place on ourselves due to past experiences, to detours created by other people walking their paths and interfering with our plans, to "life" barriers that pop up unexpectedly and unexplainably.

Barriers play a major role in our journey through life. Just as roadblocks and detour signs guide us safely through our land, avoiding dangerous situations, so do barriers in our lives.

On a human level we could do without many of the barriers life provides and some never make sense. But there is a bigger picture, one that we may never see completely. The number of times that our actions, our detours, have provided others with what they need to walk their path we may never know. One person’s actions affect everything that takes place in our world, one way or another.

And then there is our personal journey – it is not the end result that is what life is about it is the journey itself. Each barrier provides a lesson for us. It is an opportunity for growth, for self-awareness, and to change our goals to become more Self directed rather than self directed. Perhaps we want to become a lawyer for the financial benefits and the title but barriers in our path keep directing us to becoming an artist where our passions lie, our spirit can shine. We can ignore the barriers and continue our pursuit of being a lawyer, that is the gift of freewill. Perhaps we weigh the benefits and decide that to truly “live” it is better to follow the heart than the bank account. Or perhaps we can listen to the barriers and do both. Perhaps.

I have learned during my life struggles that when the barrier has been overcome there is a wonderful experience at the end of it. That wonder might be very small but the impact is large, when I let it in. Now, when times are tough I often smile and even get excited knowing that I am in the process of discovery. I know and trust that when this time in my life is over that I will be a better person having gained some human or spiritual benefits from the experience.

I also believe that some experiences are beyond our human understanding and that some barriers have no positive outcome on this level of awareness. I trust that in the bigger picture there is a purpose. Perhaps it was my goal in this life to experience such a trauma and so in the after-life I can say “oh so that is what that is like”. I can not “know” this but I can believe this and this belief, this faith, will hold me up.

Barriers - opportunities for awareness, for growth, and for trust.

-Debbie Roswell-P, www.lifeunfolding.ca

Silence
Topic: Spirituality
Listen to the silence, or perhaps I should say: don't listen to the silence. It is during the silence that wisdom and truth appears but "thinking" and consciously "thinking" may block the truth from our awareness.

Imagine or remember a time when you have forgotten a name of something or someone and no matter how hard you try, how close the name gets to the tip of your tongue, you just simply can't find the word. Then, later, perhaps hours or days or even during your sleep, it jumps into your mind and you remember. It was by giving to the silence that the word was retrieved from your mind. It was by 'not thinking about it', by putting it out of your conscious mind that your subconscious mind was able to work and do its work for you.

It is this same "silence" of the conscious mind that gives your subconscious mind the time to talk to you, to whisper to your conscious self, to provide you with the creative thinking, taking you outside your box, and help you become aware, help you understand, and help you make conscious decisions about the past, the now, and the future.

I read recently, in a book by Iyanla Vanzant that sometimes people work so hard during the day being busy (probably to avoid looking at themselves, their Selves, and the truths) that at night they are so tired that they cannot hear the truth then either. How often do you wake up from your sleep with a brilliant idea? How often do you wake ready to meet the challenges of life with new vigour, new determination, new clarity? Our dreams, we are also told, are messages to us about ourselves, our Selves, and about decisions/experiences in our lives. All we have to do is hear it.

Each day, as part of your daily routine, and during the times of chaos and confusion, take the time to clear your mind, to let the silence clear your conscious thinking. Listening beyond the silence or not listening at all allows your subconscious, your Self to speak to you, to provide you with the questions and the ideas to help guide you along your true path.

Debbie, www.lifeunfolding.ca

Self
Topic: Spirituality
What is the difference between yourself and your Self?

Your "Self" is the true you, the subconscious, the powers and energies that are part of you and connect you with all that surrounds you - connecting you with the universe.

Yourself is the human you, your perspectives, your past experiences, your emotional "you", your human needs, your barriers, your thoughts, the here and now.

Your Self will guide you to awareness, enlightenment and to choices that guide you along your true path - if you listen. {see discussion on lessons}

Our human selves, walk our path in search of human successes, striving to reach human goals, and to live human lives. These steps along our journey are opportunities to explore, to find, and to live up to our true Self.

Our Self provides us with "gut feelings" with "red flags" with spontaneous ideas, and with "coincidences". Our Self is what has guided us along the highway when we realize that we do not remember the past 10 minutes. Our Self is what has us be late for work only to discover that we are now available for an urgent call that we would have missed if we had been on time.

Discovering and being true to Self is what life is about. There is a bigger picture than what we experience in life. Perhaps our Self knows what it is.

Debbie, www.lifeunfolding.ca

Lessons
Topic: Spirituality
As we walk our life path, lessons are presented to us to help us become aware of Self. The lessons come in many forms, from opportunity knocking on our doors, to conflicts with others, to barriers to personal goals, to hiring or firing, to connections "out of the blue", and so on and so on.
When we ignore the lessons, when we avoid, when we fear, when we blame, the lessons come back in a new form either repeating the same situation or by becoming louder, stronger, more dramatic and/or traumatic.
Growth comes from listening to the lessons to digging deeper into Self and to living life without fears and blame.

Debbie, www.lifeunfolding.ca

Choices
Topic: Spirituality
Everything we do, we do by choice.
Our choices are influenced by "self" and by past experiences. Awareness of who we are and why we do things gives us personal power - helping us make choices that are "right", that are "true", and that are beneficial to us, either on a human level or on a spiritual level, as we walk our life paths.
When we look at our lives and analyze reocurring issues we need to look at the choices that we make and what is motivating us to make these choices - we are repeating the cycle for a reason. Why are we choosing to stay in the situation and why are we choosing not to leave it?
Sometimes this thought is so scarey that we choose not to even consider the question. Who wants to discover that there is some dark side of their self, some hidden agenda, some deep secret that has been buried for a long time? Who wants to create an emotional pain for themselves? Who? Someone who wants awareness, enlightenment, personal power, and to heal from the past in order to live a healthy life, making choices that are effective, healthy, and empowering.
Today is the day of opportunity - to challenge our thinking, our choices, our inner turmoils - a huge step to inner peace.

Debbie, www.lifeunfolding.ca

Dreams
Topic: Spirituality
One typically thinks of dreams as career levels or acquiring specific items - perhaps a dream is to own your own business or to buy a boat one day. These are great human dreams and we probably think that we will be content when we achieve these dreams - and perhaps we will.

True inner peace comes from following a path of "Self". Life's journey is a never-ending exploration of who one is as well as fulfilling the purposes of Self, and sharing the gifts that have been given with the rest of the world. As we struggle through life trying to achieve our human dreams we often battle with our true Self and who we are, struggling to walk our path with one foot on and one foot off.

"Be true to yourself" is about inner peace. It is about dreaming of self-awareness and self-fulfillness and about taking steps along the path to achieve these dreams.

Who are you? Are you walking a path to be "you"? Are your dreams conflicting with "Self"? Is it time to rethink your human dreams, to reassess who you are and why you are here, to make changes in your life and head towards your inner peace??

Dream on.

Real life; real dreams; real you.
~Debbie, www.lifeunfolding.ca

Morning Reflection
Morning reflection provides an opportunity to focus on "self", on goals, on one's life path, beginning the day with direction and purpose. Morning, whether that is at 5 AM or 10, or even 3:00 in the afternoon, is the beginning of the new day. It is the tomorrow to which you put things off; it is the new beginning of the rest of your life; it is the summary of yesterdays and the opening of your tomorrows. Morning reflection is a time to bring your positive thoughts to the forefront and to know how you will make a difference in the day. Debbie, www.lifeunfolding.ca