SOME DREAMS
By Carrie Alexander
PART TWENTY-ONE
After dinner, JC and Carrie sat together in a lawn chair out on the pool deck, watching the sun set.
"Are you tired?” JC asked tenderly, worried that such a big day was too much.
“No,” she said into his chest, snuggling in his arms. “I am wide awake.”
It was enough for him just to hold her. Their relationship hadn’t gone any farther, meaning they hadn’t consummated it. Although both weren’t virgins, JC wanted to give her plenty of time to grow into her newself. She was grateful for that, even though she had told him it wasn’t necessary. But she knew that they would make love sometime soon enough, the wait would only make it more special.
JC leaned back in the chair, and Carrie relaxed into him. The sun was dipping below the hills, making them look like they were on fire.
Suddenly, he heard Carrie’s soft, slow breathing. She was sound asleep.
“Care Bear?” he whispered, nudging her gently. She mumbled something and curled up her fist under her chin, still asleep.
JC kissed her forehead, and picked her up. He slowly walked her to the sliding doors. Melissa, who was sitting at the kitchen table, saw them and got up and opened the door for him.
She smiled when she saw Carrie’s peaceful sleeping face. “She looks like a little child, doesn’t she?”
JC smiled back. “I’m gonna go put the little one to bed!”
Melissa laughed as he walked up the stairs with her in him arms. As soon as JC was well away, she peered around the corner. Justin was engrossed in something on MTV. She tiptoed back to the kitchen, and picked up the phone. She dialed Brian’s number from memory.
“Hi, it’s me... Yeah, we’re back from the hospital.... She’s fine, great... Yeah, JC hasn’t left her side for a minute... Oh, I can’t... Justin’s here, he’s just in the other room... Brian, this isn’t right... I know we’re nothing but friends, but you know how Justin gets... I’m sorry. I have to go, I’ll talk to you later.” She hung up the phone.
“Who was that?” Justin’s voice came from the doorway.
Melissa jumped at his voice. “Oh, Justin! You scared me half to death!”
“Who was that you were talking to, Melissa?”
She picked up her hair tie, thinking furiously. Should she lie to keep him from freaking? She knew how he felt about Brian, even though he had no reason at all to be so possessive. No, I won’t lie. I shouldn’t have to!
“That was Brian Littrell. He wanted to know how Carrie was.”
Justin stared at her for a moment, his brow furrowed.
“What?!” she finally asked, annoyed.
Justin shook his head slowly. “You and him seem to be getting to be close.”
“Oh, my God! Are we going to go through this again? He’s nothing more than a friend!” Melissa cried, exasperated.
“Yeah, we ARE going to go through this again!” Justin yelled back. “You don’t know Brian like I do, he’s always got a hidden agenda.”
“Oh, please! He’s a nice guy, what do you have against him?”
Justin looked at her with contempt in his eyes. “Why can’t you just do this one thing for me and stay away from him?”
“Justin, you can’t tell me who to be friends with. Is there something you’re not telling me?”
“Brian will try to get you away from me. I know it.”
“What?” Melissa asked. “Justin, you don’t have to worry about that. I have no romantic interest in anyone but you--”
“He’s done it to me before,” Justin interrupted. “Brian has hated me ever since I stole his girlfriend from him a while back. Now he’s been trying to get back at me ever since.”
Melissa saw the hurt in Justin’s eyes, and was touched. Her anger melted away. “Justin, I promise you, I won’t let that happen. You know you have my heart.”
Justin walked over to her, and she hugged him reassuringly. But he still felt anger and frustration whenever he thought of her talking with Brian...
PART TWENTY-TWO
“Say ‘ahhh’!” the doctor ordered.
“Ahhh....” Carrie obeyed reluctantly while he inspected her throat to check for any torn tissues from purging.
“Looks good.” He continued his examination.
Carrie had never felt so good. She had gained another 5 pounds, and was looking great. “I have hips!” she had exclaimed to Melissa, ecstatic.
The doctor finished his exam. “You’re looking good, Carrie. Good progress.”
“Great. So when can I go back home?”
“Well, I am liking how fast you’re progressing, but I should warn you, this gaining weight so fast can be dangerous.”
“What? I thought me getting heavier was better!”
“It is. But your body was so used to being starved, your heart may have a hard time dealing with so many new cells. Have you experienced any shortness of breath, fatigue, dizziness?”
“No, not really. Does this mean I should stop eating so much?”
“No, not at all! Don’t go back to starving! I’m just warning you that there is thepossibility of a heart attack, but you’re doing so well, I doubt it could happen. Just remember you still have to take it easy. That means no stress, no overdoing anything. Just relax a lot. I know you want to go home, but I’m going to keep you here for a little longer until I think it’s safe for you to travel.”
Carrie sighed, dejected. “Ok.” She was loving being with JC here in Florida, but she was also homesick. She missed her friends, and school, and cheerleading.
Carrie hopped down from the table, and went outside to meet with Melissa.
“Everything ok?”
“Yeah. But he said he wants to keep me here longer, just in case it’s not safe to travel.”
“No complaints here,” said Melissa. She loved Florida, and she loved living with Justin. She felt at home here.
“Don’t you miss being back home?” Carrie asked as they got in Justin’s Mercedes that he let Melissa drive.
“Not really. I’ve been thinking about maybe staying here for a while longer, maybe transferring to UCF.”
This was all news to Carrie. “Really?” She hadn’t known Melissa was that serious. She and Justin must be really close.
“So I take it you and Justin are getting along better?”
“Oh, yeah. He has promised to let me be friends with Brian, even though he disapproves.”
“Well, that’s good.” They drove back to the house.
~*~*~*~
Carrie wrapped the towel around her head, and another around her chest. She opened the door of the steamy bathroom, and started to walk to her room to dress.
When she walked into the room, she gasped and clutched her chest at what she saw.
“JC!” she yelled. “You almost gave me a heart attack!”
He was lounging on her bed, idly twirling one of her hair scrunchies around his finger. “Sorry, Babe!” He sat up when she hastily shut the door.
“What are you doing here? I thought you guys had rehearsals tonight?”
“I skipped ‘em!” JC said mischieviously.
“Skipped them? Why?” Carrie asked, confused.
“Cuz I wanted to be with you instead,” JC smiled boldly, watching her take the towel off her head and rub her mass of wet hair.
“Aw, JC, you know you shouldn’t have done that. You’ve given up so much lately, I don’t want you doing that anymore--”
JC stood up and walked over to her, stopping her lips with his finger. “You know you’re more important to me than anything else. I want to be with you every moment I can.”
Carrie’s heart always melted whenever he said something like that. But it also made her feel kind of nervous because she knew she would have to leave someday and go back home.
She kissed him deeply, and his arms went around her back. She could feel the towel start to loosen and slip down her naked body. JC ran his hands down her back, still kissing her.
She caught the towel just before it fell completely off, nearly exposing her entire body.
“JC, we gotta stop.”
But his kisses were still persistent and it was hard for her to push him away.
“C’mon, JC,” she smiled. “You know we said we’d wait.”
He hung his head, disappointed. “Ok...” he drawled. “Hey, what do you wanna do tonight? I have the whole night off.”
Carrie turned to her dresser and picked up her citrus-scented body lotion. “I don’t know, where’s everyone else?” She rubbed her arms with lotion.
“They should be back by 8. Where’s Meliss?”
Carrie looked at JC through the mirror. “Don’t tell Justin, but she’s at Brian’s.”
“Uh-oh. That’s not such a good idea. You know how Justin feels--”
“That’s why you won’t tell him!” Carrie sat next to him on the bed and handed him the lotion. JC started to rub it onto her back, massaging her skin tenderly. Carrie sighed and relaxed. She loved JC’s backrubs more than anything.
PART TWENTY-THREE
“So how did it go at the doctor today?” JC asked.
“Great. He says I’m doing fine.” Carrie avoided that whole thing he had said about possible heart attack or stroke. It was rare anyway, and it would only worry JC more.
“Really? That’s great!”
“But he won’t let me travel for a while longer, until he thinks I’m strong enough.”
“Well, that’s good for me, I can keep you here even longer!” JC kissed her shoulder as he massaged it.
Carrie turned and faced him, suddenly serious. “JC, I’m gonna have to go home someday. And we should talk about this.”
“Ok,” JC replied, seeing that she was solemn.
“I love being here with you, but I don’t belong here. Minnesota is my home, and I miss it there.”
“So where will that leave us?” JC asked, holding her hand.
“You have been so amazing for me. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you by my side. Living with you, and Justin, and Lynn, and Meliss has been...wonderful. I--”
“I love you, Carrie. And I want to be with you. Please say you’ll stay,” JC suddenly interrupted.
~*~*~*~
Meanwhile, Justin threw his keys on the counter down in the kitchen. He was tired, and feeling cranky.
“Melissa?” he called out. There was no answer. The whole first floor seemed to be deserted.
Just then, Lance came running in.
“Hey, Justin!” he called out breathlessly. He had a bag under his arm.
“Lance, what are you doing here?”
“I just got a call from my mom in Mississippi. My aunt is sick, and I gotta go see her.”
“Oh, no. I’m sorry, Lance.”
“Yeah, she should be ok, but my mom just wants the family there. I should be back in a few days. I already told Johnny and the other guys.”
“Ok. What’s in the bag?”
“Oh! I need you to do a huge favor for me. I borrowed a bunch of CD’s from Brian the other week, and since I don’t know exactly when I’ll see him again, I was wondering if someone could drop them off at his place for me?” Lance pleaded.
Justin hesitated. Brian wasn’t exactly his favorite person. He had been suspicious of him ever since he had met Melissa. He didn’t think Brian’s intentions were purely platonic.
“Please, man, I gotta go catch a plane!” Lance persisted.
“Ok, I’ll do it.” Justin gave in. He took the bag of CD’s from Lance.
~*~*~*~
MEANWHILE, AT BRIAN’S....
Melissa and Brian were sitting on his couch, talking. They had been talking for the past few hours, Brian was upset about some problems that were going on with the Backstreet Boys. Melissa listened with a sympathetic ear.
“I’m sure all this will work itself out within the next few weeks,” Melissa assured him as he talked about conflicts with other members, touring, etc.
“Thanks,” Brian said, looking into her eyes. He smiled at her graciously.
Melissa smiled back. “Hey, what’re friends for?” She started to get up to leave. Justin should be done with rehearsals soon, she wanted to get back before he did. He had no idea she was here.
But she was stopped when Brian pulled her back onto the couch.
“Hey, what--”
Suddenly, Brian was kissing her.
PART TWENTY-FOUR
Justin pulled up in front of Brian’s home. He saw here was a light on in the living room. Taking a deep breath, he grabbed the bag of CD’s and started the walk up to the front door.
As he walked up the porch, he glanced in the window before he pressed the doorbell. There were 2 figures in there, on the couch. Justin saw right away one of them was Brian. He was leaning over another one, and appeared to be kissing whoever it was.
Good, Justin thought. Maybe he finally got another girl so he can leave mine alone. He hated that Melissa--
Suddenly, the girl on the couch leapt up. He couldn’t quite see her face. Justin continued to peer in the window, oblivious to the fact that he was spying.
Then the girl turned around, her hands gesturing angrily.
Melissa! Justin’s mind shrieked.
Brian and Melissa had just kissed! The bag of CD’s dropped slowly from his hand and clattered to the cement of the porch, spilling out.
Inside, Melissa was screaming at Brian angrily. She was furious that he had kissed her. Then they both heard a noise out on the porch, something falling on the cement. They glanced at the window.
“Oh, my God. Justin!” Melissa said when she saw his shocked face staring at her through the glass.
Justin gradually backed away from the window, disbelieving what he had seen. Melissa-- his girlfriend! The first girl he had actually felt more than just lust for-- actual deep feelings, maybe even love... And Brian had done it again.
Melissa ran to the front door and yanked it open. Justin was almost to his car door.
“Justin, wait! It’s not what you think!” she called to him. Brian followed her outside casually.
Justin turned on his heel angrily, his eyes stormy with rage and hurt.
“Not what I think?” he repeated, trying to remain in control. Her eyes started to water. “I saw you, Meliss. I saw you kiss.” His voice shook with pain.
“He just kissed me! I had no idea-- Brian, tell him! Tell him! It meant nothing to me, Justin!”
Brian just stood there, watching Justin. He cast his eyes downward, secretly glad that Justin had witnessed him kiss her.
Justin nodded thoughtfully when he saw Brian’s hesitation. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. Just couldn’t let me have her, huh, Brian?”
Brian looked up from the grass, trying to look innocent, but he couldn’t repress a small triumphant grin.
Justin lunged at him, his fists flying. He landed a strong punch on Brian’s jaw before Melissa yanked him back.
“Stop it!” she yelled. “It was a mistake, Justin!”
“Yeah, whatever, Melissa. Since you two are so chummy now, he can give you a ride.” Justin looked at her, trying to remain calm, but he couldn’t help but still feel so strongly for her. He felt like he could die for her, like he wanted to fight for her.
But his pride and stubborness made him open the door and get in his car.
Melissa stood there, tears rolling down her cheeks. She looked so beautiful to him, and so forlorn, he hated to do it. But he started his car, looking back at her only once, and drove away.
Melissa hung her head, crying. He didn’t believe me! He warned me that Brian would try this, and I swore I wouldn’t ever let that happen. He saw him kiss me, he’ll never believe I was taken by surprise. He’ll think I’ve been cheating on him all this time...
Brian wiped at his split lip from Justin’s punch.
~*~*~*~
Joey Fatone opened the door, groggily wiping the sleep from his eyes. Justin stood there on his porch. “Hey, Joey. Sorry I woke ya.”
“What’s going on?” he mumbled.
“I need a place to stay tonight. Can I crash here?”
“Sure. Come on in. What happened?” Joey opened the door wider and Justin stepped in.
“Long story. Fight with Melissa. I’ll tell ya later.” Justin slumped on the couch.
~*~*~*~
The phone was ringing persistently.
Carrie woke from her deep slumber, rolled over and picked it up. She had fallen asleep in JC’s room, while waiting for Melissa and Justin to come home, but they never had.
JC was also asleep, next to her, but they hadn’t done any fooling around. He groaned when Carrie reached across him for the phone.
“What?” she muttered when she picked it up.
“Carrie?” came Melissa’s frantic voice.
Carrie sat up swiftly. “Meliss? Where are you?!”
“I’m at a phone booth.” Her voice sounded scared and agitated. “I need you to come get me.”
“Wait, calm down. Tell me what’s going on. Where’s Justin?”
“He and I got in a fight.” Her voice was shaking, on the verge of tears. “And I think he broke up with me.”
Carrie swung her legs out from the bed and switched on the bedside lamp. “Ok, just take a deep breath. Now, tell me where you are.”
“I’m at some gas station. I ran away from Brian’s house.”
Oh, no. Justin went to Brian’s, Carrie thought. She could only guess what he had done.
“Carrie, he thinks Brian and I were cheating... He saw Brian try to kiss me and--”
“Alright, I’ll get the details from you later. I’m on my way to get you.”
Melissa gave her the address of where she was. Carrie said she would be there any minute.
As she was throwing on her shoes, JC leaned over and woke up.
“What’s going on?” he mumbled.
“I gotta go get Melissa. She’s in trouble,” Carrie whispered.
“Where’s Justin?”
“I don’t know. They had a fight, and she’s alone at some phone booth.”
JC sat up, rubbing his eyes. He looked at the clock. It was past midnight. “I’m going with you.”
“JC, I can handle it--”
"No. You don’t know this city as well as I do. Let’s go.” That was JC’s final word on it, she knew. Without protest, she followed him down to his car.
PART TWENTY-FIVE
“... And then he punched Brian...” Melissa explained as JC drove back home when they picked her up downtown.
Carrie listened sympathetically as Melissa told the story.
“Do you have any idea where Justin is?” Melissa asked them.
JC shook his head. “He’ll probably not come home tonight. He’s probably with Joey or some other friend.”
Melissa’s eyes brimmed with tears. “He’ll never understand, will he, JC?”
JC made eye contact with her in the mirror. “No, don’t say that! You know, Justin always overreacts, he just needs some time. He’ll calm down when he realizes it was all a mistake.”
“Yeah,” agreed Carrie. “He’ll be back, and you guys will work it all out.”
“But what if he doesn’t ever believe me that Brian was the one who kissed me, that I didn’t kiss him?”
“Then he’s not good enough for you!” Carrie said firmly. But she was determined to counsel these two back together. It was all one big misunderstanding anyway!
JC pulled up the dark driveway. Justin’s Mercedes still wasn’t there. They went inside quietly, JC and Carrie on either side of Melissa, holding her arms tightly.
“I’m gonna make you some tea,” Carrie said, bustling around the kitchen.
“Ok,” Melissa nodded weakly. She needed to be told what to do right now, she was drained and fatigued.
JC led her into her room while Carrie made the tea. He tucked her into her bed, drawing the covers up to her chin. Melissa was like a sister to JC, she was Carrie’s best friend, but also a good friend to JC, just like Carrie and Justin were also close friends.
Carrie came in with the steaming peppermint tea. She watched while Melissa drank it, and she told JC she was gonna sit up with her until she fell asleep.
“Alright,” JC said. “Let me know if you need anything else.” He kissed Melissa good night on the forehead.
“Thank you, JC,” Melissa whispered.
He smiled and nodded. Then he kissed Carrie on her lips. “I’ll be just across the hall, you know that.”
“I know. ‘Night, Baby.” Carrie got up and hugged him tightly. She suddenly felt a surge of love for him, and never wanted to let go.
“Love you, Honey,” he whispered.
“Love you, too.”
~*~*~*~
Carrie stayed up and talked with Melissa until she fell asleep. At first, she had refused to fall asleep, she wanted to wait for Justin. But eventually her eyes slipped into slumber, and Carrie left to let her rest, and went back to JC’s room. She curled up next to him, and he wrapped his strong arms around her. She fell asleep instantly.
The next morning, Justin still hadn’t shown up. Melissa felt miserable. She had no idea where he was. JC said he would see Justin that day anyway for a meeting at the studio, so not to panic.
But Melissa still was a mess. And when things got too stressful for her, she usually just removed herself from the situation.
“Carrie, I think I should leave,” she brought up at the breakfast table.
“What?!” both JC and Carrie cried.
“This is Justin’s house. I need to go home anyway--”
“Melissa, no! You haven’t even talked to him yet!"
“I’m missing school--”
“He’s your boyfriend! You need to work this out!” Carrie practically shouted.
“I don’t feel welcome here anymore. I think I’m just gonna go call the airport and try to get back to Minnesota.”
This was classic Melissa. She hated to be in a place where things were tense or she had to feel nervous. She suddenly longed for the comforting dorms back at the Main U, and the friendly people of the Cities.
“I’m sorry, Care. I know I said I would stay here with you until you could come back, but... I just can’t!” Melissa suddenly stood up and bolted to her room.
A few minutes later, she could hear the phone being picked up, and Melissa making a reservation for a flight.
Oh, Justin! Carrie thought. You better get back here and work this out with her! Though she was no longer hungry, she still cut into her grapefruit furiously...
TO BE CONTINUED