Words To 'The Doug Conspiracy' by

Once again we did not include the words to the songs, on the demo cover. So for those of you who wish to know what is been said, here are the words so that you can sing along at the top of your possibly smoke ridden lungs.


IF RONALD REAGAN, THE MAN FROM THE ELEPHANT ROLO AD WHO LOOKS A BIT LIKE JEFF KENNET, OR HERMAN GOITER, WALKED INTO 7 ELEVEN WHILE HUMMING THE BASS LINE FROM SEINFELD AND HOLDING A COPY OF FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 6 IN ONE HAND, THEY WOULD NOT RECEIVE ANYMORE FREQUENT FLYER POINTS THAN THEY ARE ALREADY ENTITLED TO- Lyrics: L Woodhouse

Poor little Clemance is not feeling good
He feels like a mouse lost in the woods
The big trees jump out at him
And communist Bob just ate Tim

Mr Oopla hops about
And Gronshnick Nobal is a round about
The toilet is a turd munching man
Tekeshis’ Castle comes from Japan

I don’t understand, it doesn’t make any sense (x?)

Ian Hewistson needs three semi-trailers, to carry his lunch
Ronald McDonald and Jeff Kennet, have never been guests on the Bradey Bunch

I don’t understand, it doesn’t make any sense (x?)


THE HILLS HAVE EYES- Lyrics: L Woodhouse

A family- going across the desert
A family- on a trip to LA
A family- a broken car
A family- alone near the hills

Something up there is watching you
It’s as if the hills have eyes
Someone’s watching your every move
It’s as if the hills have eyes

Dog ran into the hills, it ain’t a dog anymore
Savages attacked, took there supplies
Victims were shot, one killed by fire
Baby was taken, into the hills

Something up there is watching you
It’s as if the hills have eyes
Someone’s watching your every move
It’s as if the hills have eyes

The family, still have guns
The bald guy ‘He got bullets’
The family, still have guns
The bald guy ‘He got bullets’

Something up there is watching you
It’s as if the hills have eyes
Someone’s watching your every move
It’s as if the hills have eyes

The came back, and saved the day
The bald guy, he got bitten
The family still got there guns
But the bald guy, ‘He got bullets’

Something up there is watching you
It’s as if the hills have eyes
Someone’s watching your every move
It’s as if the hills have eyes


VICTIM- Lyrics: L Woodhouse

They walk alone down dark streets at night
Even when they know that things aren’t right
They go to high school, they’re popular, they’re fit
They chill with their friends, their lives are perfect
They listen to loud music, they drive fast cars
They live in big houses, their dads smoke cigars
They go to parties and flirt with each other
Then last but not least, they get slaughtered

And I want to be one of them
I want to be in an 80s horror film
I want to party, I want to have fun
And then become another victim

They speak to the killer thinking that he’s their best friend
Then they turn around and it happens again
It’s always the same, it’s always this way
You know that they’re next as soon as they stray
They watch their friends drop in front of their eyes
Till finally the killer meets his demise
They drop their guard they think it’s the end
But it’s a big mistake cause the killer’s not dead

And I want to be one of them
I want to be in an 80s horror film
I want to party, I want to have fun
And then become another victim

Being a victim’s never been so fun
So cool, so fashionable for everyone
I want to be like them
Kill me again and again
I want to be like them
Like in the films my friend

And I want to be one of them
I want to be in an 80s horror film
I want to party, I want to have fun
And then become another victim


MASTERMIND- Lyrics: S Miller and L Woodhouse

I’ve been close to you in the crowded city scenes
As I ponder your every thought, as I think about their themes
I see you every night in my dark and twisted dreams
I’ve been sending you blackened gifts, but you don’t know what they mean

Ring, ring, ring, boo ra.
I am at your door.
Ring, ring, ring, boo ra.
I am in your house.

I’m the mastermind
I’m the one behind this crime
God forgive me
I’m the mastermind

There’s been many before you, your not the first
I’m playing a game where the players leave in a hurst
Your life’s been going down hill and I’m the one to blame
I can see the fear in your eyes, your life will NEVER BE THE SAME

Jeresaca ding song wong gong ( we just say a whole heap of crap here)

I’m the mastermind
I’m the one behind this crime
God forgive me
I’m the mastermind

I’ve been watching your house
I’ve seen you move about
I’ve seen you in the shower
I’m the one who cut you power
I’ve been following you home
I know that your alone
I’ve cut the chord on your phone
I’m in your house, your NOT ALONE

I’m the mastermind
I’m the one behind this crime
God forgive me
I’m the mastermind


CANDEL- Lyrics: L Woodhouse

An indescribable feeling inside
A familiar yet forgotten face in the night
The wind howls as I walk past the trees
What is this secret kept deep inside me

Memories of a life I have not lived
Buried deep beneath the thoughts in my head
A feeling of remembrance towards this scenery
Some dark event that somehow involved me

Why is it that I sometimes feel this way
I possess a knowledge but I just can’t grasp it all
All these images swirling in my mind
What do they mean will I ever know

Walking along in this wind and this rain
Deep down I feel some kind of comforting pain
A memory of a dark secret buried with time
All of my life I have felt this way

Why is it that I sometimes feel this way
I possess a knowledge but I just can’t grasp it all
All these images swirling in my mind
What do they mean will I ever know

Is this all from a dream
Or something that once happened to me
The result of one too many movies
Or just something I’d like to be
I’ve found this door
But I don’t have the key
I just don’t know
Will I ever see

Walking along in this wind and this rain
Deep down I feel some kind of comforting pain
A feeling of remembrance towards this scenery
Some dark event that somehow involved me

Why is it that I sometimes feel this way
I possess a knowledge but I just can’t grasp it all
All these images swirling in my mind
What do they mean will I ever know


AM I WRONG ?- Lyrics: R Britton and L Woodhouse

Am I wrong- With the things I say
Am I wrong- Each and everyday
Am I wrong- The way I treat you
Am I wrong- What should I do

Wont you tell me what’s wrong with me now
How can I improve when I do not know how to
Wont you tell me what’s wrong with me now
How can I improve when I do not know how to

Am I wrong- With the things I say
Am I wrong- Each and everyday
Am I wrong- The way I treat you
Am I wrong- What should I do

Wont you tell me what’s wrong with me now
How can I improve when I do not know how to
Wont you tell me what’s wrong with me now
How can I improve when I do not know how to

Am I wrong- With the things I say
Am I wrong- Each and everyday
Am I wrong- The way I treat you
Am I wrong- What should I do

Wont you tell me what’s wrong with me now
How can I improve when I do not know how to
Wont you tell me what’s wrong with me now
How can I improve when I do not know how to


EVIL DEAD- Lyrics: L Woodhouse

Deep in the woods an unknown force lurks
Power of the dead, an evil curse
The necronomican holds all powers
To raise the spirits to possess the others
Five friends go on a trip together
And soon they must destroy each other
Your possessed and out of control
You must be destroyed to save our souls

Dismember the body, cut off the head
To save us from the EVIL DEAD

One man is left when dawn finally comes
He’s possessed by the force but it does not last long
That night his girlfriend comes back from the dead
Inside the cabin he’s attacked by her head
That very night more people arrive
One by one they meet their demise
A vortex is opened the evil’s sucked in
So is the hero could this be the end

Dismember the body, cut off the head
To save us from the EVIL DEAD
Ash cut off he’s hand, put on a chain saw instead
To save his soul from the EVIL DEAD

The trees- they’re in on it
The trees- they’re part of it
The trees- they are it
She, was taken by the trees

Our hero arrives in medieval times
Surrounded by angry, feuding knights
They believe he’s the promised one
He must recover the necronomican
Say the words
Clatu
Verata
Necturrrhhh (cough)
The dead are unleashed

Dismember the body, cut off the head
To save us from the EVIL DEAD
Ash cut off he’s hand, put on a chain saw instead
To save his soul from the EVIL DEAD


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