1. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
carts
when they don't realize it.
2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute
intervals
throughout the day.
3. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor, leading to
the
restrooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone,
"I
think we've got a Code 3 in housewares," and see what
happens.
5. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them
all off
and turn the volumes to "10."
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift
wrap.
7. Put M&M's on layaway.
8. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
9. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others
you'll
only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
10. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and
ask, "Why
won't you people just leave me alone?"
11. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a
mirror
while you pick your nose.
12. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full
scale
battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
13. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
14. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly
ask the
clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
15. Switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the
restrooms.
16. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from
"Mission
Impossible."
17. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
18. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look
with
various funnels.
19. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse
through, say
things like "Pick me! Pick me!!"
20. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume
the
fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices
again!"
21. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink;
explain that
you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little
umbrella in
it.
22. Go into the dressing room and yell real loud..."Hey,
we're out
of toilet paper in here!
