CAUTION: Those of you who do not have a sense of humor, we suggest you not read this. This is, after all, just for fun. So, if you take it seriously and are offended, get a life. And if you feel you need to send us hatemail, go for it! Consider yourself warned!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Evidence A --> "I Drive Myself Crazy"
Everytime JC performs his part he just lets himself go. And when I say go, I mean GO. I think he forgets that there are other people there. His arms start flailing about and his eyes grow bigger than Justin's ego. My only explaination for this crazy behavior can be found in a baggie in his coat pocket.
Evidence B --> Entertainment Weekly Photoshoot
What the HELL is up with that boy's hair??? Did he put his finger in an electrical socket or something??? And his eyes were all big and glazed over. Here's my theory: He goes into the hair and makeup trailor after shooting up and threatens the hair people. He tells them to make him as freaky as possible. Why? Cause he's SCREWED up!
Evidence C --> All Access
(I planted a microphone on one of the unsuspecting
bandmates of JC. Here's the interesting things I picked up.)
Justin: JC, your crack seems to be kicking in. Why don't you give our fans a tour of the bus and scare the shit out of them!
JC: Good idea J! I just hope I can stand up without falling over.
*JC scratches nose and shows the bunks giving a Forrest Gump voice commentary. He goes to the back of the bus.*
JC (scratching nose): And that's the bus. Hello! And see, that's the cameraman and (mumbles something undeterminable) cool.
Justin: Okay JC! Now why don't you go wrestle with the guy with Van Halen hair!
JC (scratching nose): Alllll right!(JC wrestles with weird guy.)
Justin: Okay, JC. Now it's time to perform. I want you to dance more agressively than ever. Pretend like you're screwing Emily! Back and forth in and out! Let's see some tounge god damn it!
JC: Yes sir!
(*Kids, Drugs put you in a very vunerable situation. Don't be like JC. Don't do drugs.)
Evidence D --> Loreal's Crap Concert
(Again, I planted my secret microphone.)
(We hear JC sqealing and the sound of a needle breaking skin.)
Lance: Why JC. Your veins look even bigger than usual.
JC: That's cause I got extra stuff flowing through them.
Lance: Ohhh kay.
(Music for IWYB starts and JC runs out on stage.)
JC: AHHHHHH!
Fans watching at home: AHHHHHH!