Character-enhancing Lesson:
Improving Your Luck

I decided to extend my stay at the Excalibur Hotel & Casino for one more day. The next morning, I got cleaned up and went to the casino’s coffee shop for breakfast. After that, I headed back to the gambling area. I wanted to play some of the other casino games.

“Look at all of these slot machines,” I said to myself. “There must be thousands of them—one long row after another. Practically any direction that I turn, there are more alluring ‘slots’ staring me in the face. I wonder just how often people hit the jackpot on one of these things?”

I still had about a hundred dollars in gambling money left over from my previous day’s blackjack session. That wouldn’t have gone very far if I started out playing “five-dollar” or even “dollar” slot machines.

Before I left Hollywood, Willie C. Light had advised me to take fifty or sixty dollars and try my luck on “quarter” slots. Furthermore, Willie said, “Count your money after you’ve played the quarter slots. If you have won enough quarters to be able to play the dollar slots on ‘house’ money, over and above your original gambling stake, it might be worth moving up to ‘half-dollar’ or ‘dollar’ machines.” Willie also pointed out that I could have just as much fun playing for smaller amounts and that “winning is winning.” Finally, Willie told me, “It feels good to hit any kind of a jackpot, regardless of whether you’re playing for ‘nickels’ or for ‘dollars.’ ”

Across the way, I saw a bank (several slots of the same monetary denomination hooked to a common or “progressive” giant jackpot) of quarter machines against the wall. A sign that hung from the ceiling, just above the ten or twelve machines, read “QUARTER MANIA.” There was a black, rectangular, ticker-tape device under the sign. Flashing red lights on the ticker-tape read “PROGRESSIVE JACKPOT NOW AT $4,691.87!”

When I walked over to the bank of machines, all of them were occupied by other players. “Say! These must be pretty ‘loose’ machines, considering that there are so many people crowded all around them!” I said to myself. “I’ll just wait for someone to leave.”

Within a couple of minutes, some guy got up and wandered off; he hadn’t had any luck. Then an attractive “change” girl walked up to me. She was scantily outfitted in a leaf-green, deep-V-necked, pull-over dress. And she had a saucer-size, shield-shaped, brass buckle on her wide black belt—a real medieval costume.

The change girl said, a sharp and demanding tone in her voice, “Hey, Lancelot . . . or whoever you’re made up to be, where’s your helmet?”

I replied, “My helmet is up in my room. Would you like for me to go up and get it?”

“No, that won’t be necessary. What’s your name, Mr.?”

“Sir Wantsalittle . . . and yours?”

The young woman started to laugh, then she had a change of heart. With a serious voice, she asked, “Are you trying to be cute, Sir whoever-you-really-are?” Before I could explain, she continued, “I don’t know if you should be in the casino with that shiny suit of armor and all . . . ? Oh well, this is the Excalibur Hotel. I guess you sort of fit in. Would you like some change?”

“Yes! I’d like a roll of quarters, please.”

It’s a good thing for her that God had just spoke with me on the subject of “aggressiveness.” After the change girl made those rude remarks, I just wanted to reach out and yank down on her long, straight, blond hair! Instead, I kept my cool and simply handed her a twenty-dollar bill. She gave me a full roll of quarters, a five-dollar bill, and five one-dollar bills.

“How come you didn’t just give me a roll of quarters and a ten-dollar bill?” I asked.

The attractive little lady stared at me and replied, “I thought you might want to give me a ‘little something’ for my taking the time to give you change—you know, a dollar or two for my tip?”

“Oh!—Well, if you hadn’t insulted me, perhaps I—”

“Never mind,” she said, now interrupting me in addition to her earlier tactless comments. “I had a hunch you might be a tight-wad!”

“Listen here—” I stopped myself in the middle of my next comment. It was too late for me to reply. She had scampered off and quickly disappeared into the narrow, crowded aisle.

Unaffected by my brief exchange of words with the casino worker, I bent over to pull out the short-legged, dark-walnut-stained, wooden stool in front of the still-vacated quarter slot. A heavy-set woman, who looked to be in her late sixties, had been sitting on the next stool down, just to the right of where I was about to sit. She turned her head in my direction and looked up at me with a smug sneer. Then the elderly woman scooted her stool to her left, a little, just far enough to prevent me from sitting down. Right after that, she slipped three quarters into the “Wild Cherries” machine that I was just about to play.

“Excuse me! Is this seat taken?” I asked, as I pointed at the vacated small stool, which was now available to the next person who wanted to sit down.

“No! As you can easily see, Sir, the seat is not currently occupied. I moved over, between the two machines, because I want to play two adjacent slots at the same time,” she said.

I reminded her, “There’s a little note taped right here over the monitor that reads ‘Please play only one machine at a time when crowded conditions exist! Thank you for your courtesy!’ ”

The woman yelled, “All right! But I’m sure going to be mad if you sit down here and hit the jackpot right away!” She pulled the handle, which spun the reels for her last turn on my machine. She didn’t win anything. Reluctantly, the greedy woman scooted her stool over, back in front of her machine.

I sat down and smacked my paper-wrapped roll of coins against the front lip of the stainless-steel slot tray; the forty silver-plated quarters clashed and clanged, sending out a loud metallic sound, as the coins dropped, sequentially, and splattered all along the bottom of the metal tray.

A computerized message on the monitor read “Please Deposit from One to Three Coins.” I didn’t realize that I couldn’t win the “progressive jackpot,” now at $4,905.75, unless I put in all three quarters, before I pulled the handle. So I conservatively dropped a single quarter in the slot and pulled down on the upright handle. When the wheels stopped turning, the monitor showed “triple bar—triple bar—triple bar.”

I read the pay-out schedule below the monitor. With one coin played, three “triple bars” paid eighty coins—twenty dollars for a twenty-five-cent deposit. “This could become addictive,” I whispered under my breath.

Then the old lady to my right scowled at me, again, and said, “Why did you play ‘short’? You just cost yourself forty bucks! Always ‘load’ the machine! . . . And when you get tired of pulling that awkward handle, you can simply press that little white button there that says ‘Spin.’ ”

“Madam, I’m trying to have a good time here and mind my own business. I highly suggest that you just relax, sit back, and do the same!” She twisted her long neck back in a straight-ahead position and faced the screen on her own slot machine.

I knew that she was probably right, but I wanted to show her who was “boss.” Hastily, I deposited another single coin. Then I looked over at the gray-haired lady and ever so slowly pulled the handle. The reels whirred. . . . I continued to stare at the old woman. Suddenly, the wheels stopped. The white light on the top of my machine brightly flashed, and there was a deafening ringing sound. When I looked at the monitor, I saw three red “Wild Cherries” lined up on the center pay-line.

“Wow! I really did it! I finally hit the jackpot!” I screamed out, jumping for joy.

“Sir . . . whoever you might be, look again!” the annoying lady proclaimed. “You idiot! Because you only played one coin, you didn’t hit the progressive jackpot. That’s what you get for trying to spite me! Let’s see here. . . . Yeah, you won 2,000 coins or just $500, instead of the almost $5,000 you would’ve won had you played all three quarters! . . .Damn, I had a hunch that machine would pay off big. I would’ve still been playing it, and I would’ve had it loaded up with all three coins played, if it weren’t for your butting in a few moments ago. Why don’t you go back to Camelot or wherever you’re from and give ‘Merlin’ some of your grief. You’ve been a real curse to me, young man!”

What could I have said? “Damn the luck!” I exclaimed. She was absolutely right. Nonetheless, I was still pretty happy with the fact that I’d just won $500. My slot tub was filled with quarters. The slot attendant came over and gave me $250 cash to go along with 1,000 coins that dropped into the slot tub. I filled up four large “coin cups,” which were stacked up on the ledge between the machines. Then I headed to the “Cashier’s Window” to convert the quarters into dollar tokens.

The time had come for me to graduate to the dollar slots. I looked around for a few minutes. Then I found a “Blazing-7’s” machine that caught my eye. It wasn’t a progressive machine, but lining up three blazing-red 7’s on the center pay-line would’ve paid me $1,000, not bad for a three-dollar investment.

I had learned my lesson about “playing short.” From that point on, I decided to load the machine before each pull of the handle, depending on whether or not a slot required three coins or five silver tokes to win the full jackpot.

About twenty minutes after I began playing the Blazing-7’s machine and a few other dollar slots around the gambling hall, I learned another valuable lesson. I said to myself, “I guess that it isn’t likely that I’m going to walk away a ‘winner’ from every machine that I play. And it’s amazing how fast my money can go when I play three or more tokens at a time.”

I played several different dollar machines in less than half an hour. I didn’t have any measurable luck. Sure, I got teased a little, winning “even money” a few times and a handful of dollars on two or three other plays. But my previous winnings rapidly evaporated.

Down to my last six bucks, I slipped three silver tokens into a “Magnificent-7’s,” three-coin, dollar machine. Catching three blue 7’s across the center pay-line would’ve awarded me $2,500. I pulled the handle on the “one-arm bandit.” The slot reels spun; the computerized machine bellowed a promising melody. In a few seconds, the slot reels came to an abrupt stop. Three different symbols appeared on the pay-line: blue 7—bar—triple bar. A message on the machine’s monitor read “Better Luck Next Time—Please Deposit From One To Three Coins.” It just as well have read “Stick ’em up!”

Frustrated and obviously upset with the unyielding, stingy slot machine, I shouted, “Drats! This long losing streak is really depressing me. Lord, do You have an elixir that might improve my luck?”

My guardian angel, of sorts, appeared. The Lord sat down on a little slot stool, which was vacant and located just off to my left. Halle . . . e-r-r, I mean God was dressed in the same kind of outfit as the bitchy little change girl. God looked very provocative in Her dainty little Excalibur uniform. She said, “Wantsalittle, it looks as though you could use some better luck. Now, I can’t help you to win the jackpot on slot machines. These devices and other forms of gambling are simply games of chance. And you should realize that the ‘house’ has a considerable advantage. In this case, the casino owner is in business to make a handsome profit. I’m only here to give you some psychological tips that might improve your attitude; therefore, perhaps your ‘luck’ will improve, in general.”

“How is it, Lord, that one person can be ‘luckier’ than another?”

“Largely, it’s a matter of identifying with and allowing yourself to benefit from the universal laws of infinite love, infinite supply, and infinite abundance. In other words, you are what you think!”

“Some of Your words are going over my head. Do You mean that if I think about ‘prosperity,’ for instance, that I’ll be more prosperous?”

“That’s the general idea, Wantsalittle. And here’s something that goes along with that notion: Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, and other religious prophets taught that people should count their blessings. You should stop to think about just how lucky you already are or just how much good fortune you already have. How’s your physical and mental health, overall? . . . Do you have a supportive, loving family? . . . Are you fortunate enough to have caring, endearing friends? If you concentrate on what you HAVE, rather than on what you don’t have, you’re more likely to get more of what you want!”

“Lord, I don’t have any family, and I have very few close friends.”

“Wantsalittle, I think that you know what I mean. One day, you will likely settle down and start a family of your own. And as you change your ways, you will attract new friends, wherever you happen to be. . . . Now let’s get back on the subject of ‘luck.’ Oliver Goldsmith wrote, ‘The fortunate circumstances of our lives are generally found, at last, to be of our own producing.’ If you like to gamble, you might improve the odds of ‘Lady Luck’ being on your side if you REALLY BELIEVE that you’re a lucky person and if you just know that prosperity and good fortune are coming your way.”

“Other than gambling, could my prosperity consciousness bring me good luck in other regards?”

“Good luck takes the shape of many faces. Sometimes, you may be focused on having good luck in one specific area—winning the lotto or hitting the jackpot on a slot machine, for example. Whether or not you actually win at these games, your mental energy, directed toward being lucky, may result in your having even better luck bestowed upon you from more significant, surprising sources.”

Right before God disappeared, She said, “Wantsalittle, as you think with the attitude of being lucky or fortunate, you may experience good luck or good fortune. Dare to prosper. Think about what your good luck images will be today!”

God’s message uplifted my general attitude. She made me feel grateful for the things that I already had going for me in my life. Then, thinking that I was already a ‘winner,’ I deposited my last three dollar tokens in that same Magnificent-7’s slot machine and pulled the handle. When the reels came to rest, there were three blue 7’s lined up across the center pay-line. Lights flashed, and a loud buzzer went off. I sprang off the stool, raised my hands high, and leaped for joy. This one-arm bandit didn’t get off with my cash. I had just won $2,500!

Dozens of bystanders looked on as the slot tub overflowed with silver dollars. With a wide grin across my face, I blurted out, “It really helps to expect the unexpected!”