I hated to leave Hollywood. Talk about “learning patience”! I would have stood in line with the sensual and charming Lady Raquel, by my side, for one million years!

I next visited Giza, Egypt, at the site of the historical Khufu (Cheops) pyramid. In an effort to get my mind off of Lady Raquel, I applied for temporary employment. I accepted a job that required me to wash the great Khufu pyramid, which was originally constructed during Egypt’s 4th Dynasty.

Standing 481-feet tall and covering some thirteen acres at its base, the stone monument was built for King Khufu as his tomb. The Khufu pyramid was the first of three giant pyramids built as tombs for the great Pharaohs on the plateau at Giza.

Dressed in bib overalls and a light-blue, short-sleeved work-shirt, over my silver suit of armor, I stood in a little compartment at the end of one long arm of a huge crane. The crane hoisted me to the top of the 48-stories-high structure. A hundred-gallon barrel of cleaning solution, containing ammonia mixed with water, sat just off to my right in the small compartment. Equipped with only a brick-size household sponge, I had an enormous frown on my face. I cried out, “I want my mummy!”

When I gathered my wits, I said, “Indeed, a challenging assignment. It’s a good thing that I get paid by the hour! Lord, what more important personal challenges are in store for me?”

God appeared. Again, She dressed casually. Like me, the Lord had on a pair of bib overalls. But this time, instead of a heavy, uninspiring sweatshirt, She wore a tight-fitting, light-flesh-colored T-shirt. To get Herself in a better position to speak with me, God had to first wedge Herself between me and the big barrel of pyramid cleaner. As She twisted and turned to maneuver into a more suitable stance, She accidentally bumped into the barrel of cleaning solution. About a gallon of the clear, water-based liquid splashed all over the front of her transparent cotton T-shirt.

Speaking of a “challenge”! God obviously wasn’t wearing a bra, and it was hard for me to remain focused on Her, above the shoulders. And it was just as hard for me to keep a straight face, considering my direct and full view of the leaving-almost-nothing-to-the-imagination, “nice set” of circumstances. My mind had fallen into a near-spellbinding trance. The Lord could have hypnotized me in a “Camelot second” with one more side-to-side motion or up-and-down movement of Her eye-popping, fascinating, twin peaks!

Enthusiastically, the Lord said, “Hi there, Wantsalittle! It’s great to see you again!”

“God, it’s greater to see You, too!” I said, showing an ear-to-ear grin as I spoke.

The grandeur images that I had mentally photographed and cherished, and that I was still seizing and savoring, at every opportunity and for each priceless second, caused my legs to buckle. I stumbled, for an instant, and nearly lost my balance, which likely would have sent me over the edge of the scaffold.

The Lord said, “Your question for Me should not have been one of ‘what challenges’ are in store for you. Your question should have been: ‘God, what can I do to meet such personal challenges?’ Life would be boring and without much purpose and meaning if it weren’t for personal challenges.”

As I attempted to sneak in another innocent, inadvertent peek or two at the front of Her wet T-shirt, I said, emphatically, “God, right now, my life is anything but boring!”

I was surprised that I had been able to escape the Lord’s wrath, so far, with respect to my rather obvious, gawking, roaming eyes and my evil little thoughts. But as it had previously come to bear, God had detected and made note of everything that I had been visually investigating and all that I was, even then, carefully studying. Once again, She had accurately read my thoughts, down to the last pleasurable detail.

The Lord exclaimed, “Watch yourself, Wantsalittle! I know exactly what you are referring to with that ‘my life is anything but boring’ remark, and it’s in bad taste! I’m not the slightest bit amused by your sexist thoughts or by your rambunctious, wandering eyes. If you don&3146;t clean up your act, I may make my future appearances before you as Medusa, rather than as Jessica Simpson. Do you know about ‘Medusa,’ Wantsalittle?”

“Yeah, I remember the story of the Gorgon Medusa. As I recall, Medusa was a hideous, snaky monster—Mistress of the Beasts.”

“Yes, Wantsalittle, you’re right. Medusa was a Serpent Goddess, an ancient symbol of female power and wisdom. Her tongue protruded like a snake’s, and her forbidden face was surrounded by a halo of spiraling, serpentine hair—a horrid, ugly sight to behold. One glance at Medusa’s wide, unblinking eyes would instantly turn any man into stone.”

“God, You must have been in some kind of a foul mood when You created Medusa!”

“Yes! Am I getting my point across, Wantsalittle?”

“Yeah, Your message is coming across loud and clear!” I fully deserved to catch hell from God for my shameful thoughts and somewhat indecent behavior. Nevertheless, the brief frontal shots of the Lord’s wet T-shirt were worth each and every word of Her harsh criticism and not-so-subtle threats!

The Lord and I glanced down at the bright-red Vette; the car appeared to be about an inch long. Then God turned toward me. She said, “You know, Wantsalittle, there’s a lot of interesting world history that took place some 5,000 years ago in this exact location. Did you know, for instance, that there are approximately 6 million limestone blocks, weighing over 15 million tons, that went into the construction of these three, huge, ancient, Egyptian pyramids and some surrounding underground tombs?”

“That’s incredible!”

“Yes—and it took thousands of stone masons and tens of thousands of quarry workers nearly seventy years to complete this architectural miracle. The ancient Egyptians not only accepted this challenging task, but they magnificently accomplished their lofty goals, as you can see for yourself.”

I just stood there, silently, in awe for a few moments—in awe of the majestic Egyptian pyramids and in awe of God’s naturally developed, stately, also-pointed mounds. Then I said, “It really is an amazing testimonial as to what can be achieved when people collectively work toward a common cause!”

God said, “Theodore ‘Teddy’ Roosevelt once stated, ‘Far better is it to dare mighty things, win glorious triumphs, though checkered by defeat, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much because they live in the gray twilight that knows no victory or defeat.’”

Bothered a bit by the ammonia fumes, the Lord sneezed a couple of times. “God bless You!” I said, after each sneeze. I knew better than to try to sneak another peek at the front of Her still-dampened, still-revealing T-shirt. Besides, I envisioned the look of Medusa. I would have hated for that beastly woman, even from a back view of her, to become a reality during my conversations with God, especially on a regular basis throughout my journey!

The Lord thanked me for saying “God bless You!” Then She continued to speak about personal challenge. She said, “Among many other outstanding statements, John F. Kennedy will always be remembered for throwing down this public challenge: Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country. The world will always be ready for those who accept greater challenges and who seek worthier individual achievements.”

“God, what can I do to challenge myself in ways that will be more beneficial to others?”

“The late Princess Diana accepted a challenge, among many others, to rid the world of land mines. Diana reflected, ‘How can countries which manufacture and trade in these weapons square their consciences with such human devastation?’ Princess Diana also nobly stated, ‘I want to walk into a room, be it a hospice for the dying or a hospital for sick children, and feel that I am needed. I want to do, not just to be.’ Wantsalittle, why don’t you try to follow in the path of Princess Diana and countless other people who thrive on life-building personal challenges?”

“Okay, I’ll give this some serious thought and see what I can do.”

Right before the Lord disappeared, She said, “As you think about and accept various personal challenges, you will achieve more worthwhile individual goals and dreams. Constantly challenge yourself to be the best that you can be!”

I wanted to continue the late Princess Diana’s life-saving crusade to rid the world of land mines. The next day, I cautiously parked the Corvette beside a well-known mine field in Angola, Africa.

I took a few minutes to survey the area. Then I strapped on a white hardhat over my steel helmet. And I slipped a pair of goggles on over my visor, which was already pulled down to better protect my eyes. I started to venture across the dangerous mine field. The sun reflected off of a bright metal object, protruding from a clump of dirt, several yards in front of me.

I firmly gripped my eight-foot-long lance and stretched the tapered instrument out in front of me, defensively. I carefully probed and poked at every dirt clod with the sharp point of the long weapon, along the way, so I wouldn’t accidentally step on a land mine. I slowly advanced toward the shiny steel gadget. Finally, I walked up close to the object. But just before I reached out with the lance to examine that ominous, threatening device, I stopped and exclaimed, “Mankind still has many bigger challenges ahead. Let’s start HERE!”

(The moral of this episode: Endeavor to dare mighty things by accepting your fair share of “personal challenges.” The self-satisfaction that you will experience and feel, after you accomplish more worthwhile goals or tasks, will make such challenges well worth your efforts!)

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