As if the sensational beast sightings on March 9th weren't enough, the legend continues...
Weeks, months, years passed... The overwhelming anti-beast period of time. The tenacious desire to peek into a john has temporarily left our beast-hunters. They have all now progressed to 7th grade, and have yet to feel the obsession in which they had felt last year. The sensational obsession of...BEAST.....!!!!!
-So began another ordinary 8th period study hall. I was doing my homework, minding my own business, until I was suddenly struck with a desire to rush to the bathroom. I signed out the pass, and walked slowly to the bathroom as if some unnatural force; a synthetic, al-mighty, Beastly powerful force had caught me, and pulled me into the boys bathroom. As I arrived, I did my usual, but was overcome by a repugnantly Beasty stench apparently rising from amist the john. I set a single objective for myself, and a single objective only: to come back outa that bathroom alive.
I slowly slid along the bathroom wall to inspect the stench-producing attraction. As I arrived beside the stall room, I reached for the small, white, wooden door. As it creaked open I nearly whiplashed back into the bathroom sink in a recoil so intense that it was almost sure to leave a mark.
That's how I spotted the culpret. It was floating and bobbing around like a military submarine waiting to strike. The water was teeming with whit-brown soggy toilet paper shavings, surrounded by undemesticated beastlings. A series of middle-aged juicy beasts were waiting to attack an intruder to protect their young. Well their intruder had come, and let me tell you something; they were definately NOT pleased!!!
They began to swim furiosly back and forth. Apparently they would attack. I slammed the door shut, and although still mortfied in terror, my curiosity dominated over my beter judgement.
I opened the 2nd door and almost fainted as I saw a terrible, horrific, majestic pile of crap that was so disoriented, that it was guarenteed to terrify even his father, Duke! I had one other alternative. I ran back to study hall and told no one. You are the first to know... based on a true story...
