*communicate clearly and assertively.
*create space. do anything you can to break the intensity of the situation.
*use the x.y.z. approach. tell them exactly what's bothering you (x): "you're going too fast." then tell them how you feel about it (y): "i'm really uncomfortable with this." and tell them what you want done about it (z): "i want you to stop right now."
*if the above suggestions don't work, resist physically if possible. when striking back, aim for the eyes, throat, knees, and groin. yell loudly, and try to run away. do not attempt physical resistance if the assailant is carrying a weapon of any kind.
*go to a safe place as quickly as possible.
*avoid your own natural emotional reactions to bathe, douche, change clothes, brush hair, wash hands, etc., as doing so may destroy important physical evidence.
*visit a hospital or clinic immediately to get tested for sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy. physicians will treat your injuries.
*if you have been seriously injured in the attack, contact an ambulance or have a trusted individual transport you to the emergency room immediately.
*get in touch with a rape counselor, who will provide you with information on legal counsel, and help you decide whether or not to press charges.
*if you have been or are being raped by someone you know well or live with (a family member, roommate, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc.) contact a local rape crisis center (from a pay phone or a friend's house, if necessary) and they can help advise you in how to act.
it is important to remember that these are all normal and acceptable feelings and reactions to the trauma of sexual violation. the emotional pain of a sexual assault can be overwhelming when the feelings first surface, but victims and survivors do regain their sense of control with time and support. one of the most important things to do is find a way to release your emotions. don't bottle them up. if you aren't feeling much, that's okay, but you should anticipate the possibility of emotions coming up later. if you feel like you need someone to talk to, do it. if you aren't comfortable talking about your experiences and emotions yet, there are many other ways of expressing yourself alone, or through abstract metaphor; painting, poetry, dance, ceramics, performance art, prose, song, gardening, sculpture, sketching, the list goes on and on. if you do decide to talk to someone, make sure the person is someone who will give you the love, support, and trustworthiness you need. if you do want to talk to someone but there is no one in your life who you think can give you what you need, or if you just feel like you would be uncomfortable talking with them about it, call r.a.i.n.n. at
1-800-656-HOPE, and they will refer you to the nearest rape crisis center, most of which will offer free anonymous counseling at times when you need it.
