THE TOP EIGHT GOOD THINGS ABOUT BEING A HOCKEY GOALTENDER
(Created by Linda Radtke!)
8.Halloween costume? No problem!
7.Detroit Red Wing goalies look like Santa; can earn extra money during the holidays.
6.Can check out the babes rinkside without them even knowing.
5.Slash all you want; they send someone else to the box.
4.Padding gives the impression you're really buffed.
3.Helmet allows you to double as Darth Vader in any upcoming "Star Wars".
2.Can get inventive nickname like "Eddie".
1.Bruises can really bring out the color in your eyes.
TOP TEN ALTERNATIVE GIFTS TO GIVE A GOALIE THIS HOLIDAY SEASON
10. SPF 30 sunscreen, for that annoying back of the neck burn.
9. For the significant other on your list, here's one that won't cost you a penny: After the game, you can "tend to his/her equipment", if you know what I mean.
8. Chia Pet (hey, everyone loves chia pets).
7. Ice packs, Ice packs, and more ice packs.
6. Patrick Roy's newest instructional video: "How to alienate a whole city in three easy steps" (endorsed by Mike Keenan)
5. Dominic Hasek's newest instructional video: "Ugly goaltending made easy."
4. Blaine Lacher's newest instructional video: "Riding the Pine with Style"
3. A contract with a real NHL team, instead of an IHL or a contract in hockey hell (Curtis Joesph only)
2. Clothing that brings out the color of bruises.
1. Gift certificate for mental health services.
(This has got to hurt!)
No need to say anything
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