America should use its surplus mental facilities to treat male twenty-somethings who create mayhem during civil protests or following athletic events.

Mobs of dumbasses routinely block intersections, overturn vehicles, destroy property and assault law-enforcement officers to express both anger and happiness.

Or perhaps America needs to reinstate the draft, induct those morons and channel their aggressiveness in positive directions—as human shields, for example.

Another solution might be to put all hay-wired persons aged 13-29 years in suspended animation. (23 MARCH 2003)