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You're Kidding?

Public schools for the past two or three decades deservedly have taken it in the shorts for failing to properly educate children.

And the criticism continues today despite hundreds of past mandates, threats and demands from courts, Congress, legislatures, governmental agencies, pressure groups and editorial writers.

Public schools simply have done a miserable job in teaching manners and the art of tying shoe laces, in placing girls on football teams, integrating neighborhoods, eradicating communicable diseases, nursing malnourished children, stopping child abuse, preventing drug and alcohol abuse, eliminating handicaps, rehabilitating criminals and providing other similar essentials of modern education.

Public schools have utterly failed to assume--rather than just support--everyone else's tasks. And they've even failed to correct the mistakes of others.

After all, don't public schools have access to students for 11.2 percent of the year? Sleep takes only 33.3 percent and home and community have to share the remaining 55.5 percent of a child's time.

And don't even mention that some of public education's 11.2 percent of a child's time is spent in recesses, lunch periods, assemblies and passages between classes. Pure instruction time, though, still involves at least a single-digit percent of a child's total year.

But if the lot of public schools isn't enviable, pity even more the private and parochial schools. Not only do they have to ignore legal and political mandates from the public, but they have to select which students they want to educate. Furthermore, they have to send their unmanageable and unresponsive students to the public schools.

Public school educators also have the unmitigated gall to claim they can't provide 1999 levels of education services with 1985 dollars. Everyone else has managed to ignore the effects of inflation and recession.

Just who would teach children manners and the art of tying shoe laces? Parents?

Who would take care of communicable diseases, handicaps, malnutrition and drug and alcohol abuse? The health-care agencies?

Who would handle child abuse and the rehabilitation of criminals? The police and courts?

Who would attack bigotry and integrate the neighborhoods? Religious groups and society itself?

And just where would Suzie play football? With some community youth league?

You're kidding. (4 APR 99)


E-mail: higgens@aol.com