Hell hath no fury like Marisleysis Gonzalez, the Cuban-American shrew of Miami, Fla.

Miss Gonzalez, the doe-eyed 21-year-old second cousin of six-year-old Elian Gonzalez, militantly reinvented the role of surrogate parent for the motherless refugee.

No enraged grizzly sow could match the ferocity of Miss Gonzalez as she keened and screamed at real and imagined threats to her Cuban cub before, during and after the Reno raid.

Miss Gonzalez singlehandedly validated the popular stereotypical female Latin temperament--the glares, shrieks, gestures, everything.

What a babe. She will be missed by every standup comedian in America.(2 JULY 2000)

E-mail: higgens@aol.com

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