Just when you start believing that government really does make sense, something happens to jolt that assumption.

The U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services no longer permits lamination of its Social Security Administration card--Form OA-702 (1-88) in bureaucratese.

Children today are issued SSA cards at birth so parents can claim them as income-tax deductions. That means their unlaminated cards must be kept in useable condition for 70-plus years before retirement.

Heaven help the card-carrier if a wallet or purse encounters water or if the card has to be handled by numerous employers to verify citizenship.

Card-carriers have no recourse beyond replacement when the card begins to fade or fray. Commercial laminators won't touch the card, claiming its lamination (gasp) is unlawful.

While the rule's rationale can't be found easily on the SSA's website, a friendly 800 voice did explain that the lamination policy was necessary to prevent the "covering up of illegal alterations."

Hey, how the hell does clear plastic laminate cover up anything?(3 SEPTEMBER 2000)

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