Forsake Sunday's XLIX Super Bowl featuring multimillionaire abusers of women, children and dogs playing with deflated balls.
Instead watch Puppy Bowl XI played with Nerf toys and featuring youngsters from shelters between 3 and 5 p.m. and later on the Animal Planet cable channel.
There's even a feline half-time show, although cat-only enthusiasts might prefer the Hallmark Channel's Kitten Bowl from noon- p.m.
The canine show features rufferees overseeing wide retrievers, line barkers and a waterbowl cam.
Pooping or peeing on the gridiron automatically brings penalties, but old-fashioned dogpiles are allowed.
Unlike the human version, concussions, broken bones and missing teeth are unacceptable in the puppy match. But biting is allowed if no blood is drawn.
Join the 11-plus million viewers boycotting the modern Roman Games. (1 FEBRUARY 2015)
