Sorry it's been so long since I've written any of these, but, well, okay, I've been lazy. *LOL* I'm not going to deny it, I'm a very lazy person. So I've been forgetting the Rantings! Not very cool, is it? Oh well. I'll try to write more often, promise! Does anybody who I don't MAKE read these actually read them, anyway? *LOL* I have no idea. :-)
So, just FYI...I'm not doing the Rantings as my Raw review anymore...if you wanna hear what I had to say about Raw, you can just go to my friend Rusti's page and read The Good, The Bad and The Scary. :-) Aren't I just the creative one with the name of the column? Nope. *LOL* Oh well, I realize the column that's up there right now is from December...(this is as of midnight, January 22), but well, I got lazy on that column too. I swear, I wrote a new one this week, ask Rusti...if it ever got to her, that is. *LOL*
So, anyway, the point of that rambling is that this column is now gonna be, well, obsessive rantings! :-) Not just about Raw, but about anything wrestling-related that I wanna talk about. This week, seeing as Sunday is a very special day...no, not my birthday, but it is my pal Dani's birthday, Happy Birthday Dani!! (If you read this *LOL*) And it's my parents' 25th wedding anniversary...love ya, Mom and Dad! :-) Thank you for sticking together and putting up with all my weirdness for almost 20 years. :-) What else is Sunday? Oh yeah! It's the Rams-Bucs game...GO RAMS!! (Hey, I live near St. Louis, I can root for them all I want!) :-) Other than that, oh yeah, there's that Royal Rumble thingie, too, isn't there? :-)
Yes, the Rumble...last year's was the first wrestling PPV I watched live. (Pathetic, no? *LOL*) As I recall, I was majorly PMS'ing that night and I threw this big huge hissy fit during the Rock/Mankind match 'cause my whole family was ragging on Rocky the whole time and it totally pissed me off, so I let them know it. *LOL* But, alas, the hormones are in check this year, and it's all good. :-) I'm also more mature now, that helps, doesn't it? So, anywhoo! Onto the predictions! Let's see how "I Wish I Were Psychic" Katie does, shall we?
Miss Royal Rumble Swimsuit Competition: With Terri, The Kat, Luna, B.B., Ivory, Jackie and Mae Young: Ugh! I don't give a flying...fudge :-) about who wins this. But who would probably win it...hmm...I'll have to go with Terri and her incredibly obviously fake boobs. Or would it be B.B. and HER incredibly obviously fake boobs? Hmm...one of those two, I'd guess. But I can't really make a pick on a "match" I'm not even going to be paying attention to, now can I?
And they think we're gonna see "puppies"...oh joy, oh bliss, I'm sooo enthralled *sarcasm!* *LOL* If I wanted to see those, I'd look down...oh, look, there they are! Wow, they aren't that special. :-) Of course, if I were a guy, I'd think differently, but I'm not a guy, now, am I? Nope. :-) As a feminine female, I'd just like to say that the day they also have Mister Royal Rumble Speedo Competitions, is the day I will be satisfied. :-) Whatever happened to being equal?!? Come on! I can think of a few guys I'd like to see in Speedos...*evil grin* *slapping myself* Okay, Katie, back to Earth!!
One more thing...the highlight of this competition will be hearing Jerry Lawler go insane...hehehe, he is SO DAMN FUNNY! I love that guy. Not to mention his son is adorable...hehe. :-) But I'll get into that later.
Tag Team Table Match: Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz; Wait, I know! Someone with "Boyz" in their name will win. Hehehe...okay, enough being a smartass. This match will be SO COOL! I don't get Smackdown, so I didn't see what happened between these guys and their tables. *LOL* But when the Dudleys did that thing to the Hardys through the table on Monday...wow, I was impressed, and I am NOT a Dudley fan, by any means. I really think the Dudleys will win this one, just because they have more experience in this kind of match, and plus, I have a feeling they're getting ready to get a nice big push. Or maybe it's just me. But that's not so important to me, what's important to me in this matchup, I get to see Matt and his adorable ears! Hehe...and maybe he and Jeff will take their shirts off, woohoo! *LOL* Yeah, so that's the kind of thing that I'm thinking about. Oh well! (Hmm, maybe the hormones AREN'T in check!)
Kurt Angle vs. Super-Mysterious Unannounced Mystery Opponent: So, who's it gonna be? Who's it gonna be? Will it be Tazz? (Gawd, I hate spelling it with two z's. Oh well.) Kenny Shamrock? Undertaker? If I was a betting woman (and thank goodness I'm not, I'd be more broke than I am now, if that's possible.), I'd bet it's Tazz. So, I'm saying it's Tazz and he'll beat Angle and I will laugh and laugh and laugh, even though I'm not a Tazz fan, just because of things a certain Crash Holly said about the way Tazz treated him in his ECW days...you don't mess with my little leprechaun and have me still like ya! *LOL* ANYWAY, getting back on track...I think it'll be Tazz, but I WISH it would be Shamrock...I miss the abs like crazy!! And Kenny's so funny when he gets "In The Zone", aww, Kenny, hope it's you and you make Mr. Kurt Angle submit to the fearsome Ankle Lock. *LOL* We shall see, though, I can't wait, woohoo, the anticipation is excruciating! Ouch! :-) *j/k*
Tag Team Championship Match: Acolytes vs. New Age Outlaws: Oh gawd, help me, I'm rooting for the Acolytes...never thought I'd see that day! But since DX is so damn annoyingly evil right now, I really want the Acolytes to win, and I think they will, and it will be cool. :-) This should be a good match, though. They shoulda made it no holds barred, and held it in a bar or somethin', that'd really give the Acolytes an advantage, huh? *LOL* But anyway...my excitement for this match is...will Billy wear some see-thru shorts?!? Hope so! :-)
Street Fight (it IS still that, right? *LOL*) for the WWF Championship: Cactus Jack vs. Triple H: This match should be a rough one. I think Cactus will win, but I also think both of 'em are gonna be feeling the effects of this match in the morning. *LOL*
Triple Threat Match for the Intercontinental Title: Hardcore Holly vs. Chyna vs. Chris Jericho: Ahhh, this will be a great match for me! Why, you ask? Chris! Bob! Bob! Chris! *LOL* I've got two guys to stare at the whole match...and as much as I like to consider myself a Jerichoholic (one of the millions *LOL*), I'm going for Mr. Hardcore in this match...why? 'Cause he hasn't had the IC title ever, and he's been in the biz so long, he should get it! I'm just curious to see what a victory from him would do to the relationship between him and Mr. Cutie Pie...err, I mean Crash. :-) So, yeah! Hardcore Holly all the way! Woo woo! :-)
Okay, so with the Rumble, I'll just go over every guy separately and list what I think is in store for them in the match...hope I don't bore you too much!
Rodney: He's not gonna last long...would be funny if a little Kaientai dude threw him out. Hehe. :-)
Mark Henry: Just 'cause he's such a big guy, he might last a while in the ring, but we'll see.
Mosh: As much as I love that cute little monkey face he makes, it doesn't make me think he's gonna be in very long...wonder if he's gonna wear a bra? *LOL*
Thrasher: Same as above...only take out the part about the cute little monkey face. *LOL*
Stevie Richards: Hey, Stevie's back!! But I have to agree with 'em at the official Royal Rumble site, I think he'll have some ring rust and not last very long...but it'll be cool to see him back in the ring! :-)
Funaki: He's too little to last very long in here.
Edge: He could be in here quite a while, but the fact that he's not a really big guy could work against him after he gets tired.
Christian: I have a feeling he won't last as long as Edge does...I dunno, just a feeling.
Steve Blackman: He might get lost in the shuffle and get tossed out pretty early, I think. Val might get him!
Mideon: Nope, won't last long.
Gangrel: Same here.
Taka: Remember what I said about Funaki? About being too small? Same applies here. :-)
Joey Abs: Actually, he might last a while, considering he's actually got wrestling skills and some size. We'll just have to see, though.
Viscera: Ick, unfortunately, I think he'll last a while because of his size...in a perfect world, Crash Holly would throw him out. :-) But alas, this world isn't perfect. I bet another big man, I'll say Rikishi, will get Vis out of the Rumble.
British Bulldog: Okay, maybe HE'LL throw Blackman out...or Blackman will throw him out...or the two will do nothing with each other. *LOL* I dunno about Bulldog, really.
Al Snow: He could last a while here, but I'm not sure. This is hard, ya know? *LOL*
Prince Albert: I hope he throws Bossman out!! Yeah! And then goes himself. *LOL*
Bossman: Hey!! Maybe he and PA will get each other out at the same time! Woohoo, that'd be cool!
Rikishi Phatu: He could last a pretty long time...just please don't let him throw any of his Too Cool buddies out! That would hurt Katie. *LOL*
Godfather: He could last a while too, just because of his size. I don't WANT him to, but oh well.
D'Lo Brown: Hmm...D'Lo...that's a toughie, I have NO idea what's gonna happen w/him in the Rumble.
Val Venis: He might throw Blackman out...or Christian, setting up a feud between them over this whole "I wanna be the best man at Edge and Val's sister's wedding!" angle. Dunno how long he'll last, though.
Test: I think Test could be one of the last guys left in there, really.
X-Pac: Naaah, he won't last a really long time...bet Kane'll throw him out.
Kane: He'll be in a while, just because of the size factor.
The Big Show: From the way they've been doing things, oh yeah, TBS will be one of the last guys standing...he may be one of the final two, actually...him and, well, I'll get to the other guy. :-)
Grandmaster Sexay: Oh, my favorite little Lawler spawn...hmm, he's not a big guy, I'm afraid he's not gonna last too long, which is too bad, 'cause I'd want him in MY final four. :-)
Scotty Too Hotty: My Scotty baby! I wish he'd stay in a long time, but uh-uh, I'm afraid it's not gonna happen. :-( He'd also be in my final four, I can't help it, I'm a big sucker for Too Cool, I LOVE those guys to pieces.
Crash Holly: Ahh, my little Crashy-Poo...my favorite little leprechaun! He probably thinks he's gonna win it, but unfortunately, I think what'll really happen is he'll throw one guy over and be so pumped about it that in his cute little celebration, he'll get thrown over himself. D'oh! That's not very cool.
The Rock: Duh, what do you think I'm gonna say? Rocky is gonna WIN this baby!!! I think he and TBS will be the last two guys in and TBS will eat his words when Rocky gets him over the top rope. Yeah baby! Go Rocky!! :-)
Well, that's about it for now...whew, now I'm tired. :-) Should be interesting to see how accurate I was with those. Have a great time watching the Rumble, and also watching Raw on Monday, for the fallout. Should be awesome! :-)
for the animation up there! :-)