These are things I truly believe about self-injury:
Self-injury is not evil or crazy. Doing it does not make you a bad or worthless person.
Self-injury is a coping mechanism. There are better ones and worse ones. It's certainly not the worst thing you could be doing.
Slf-injury is a maladaptive coping mechanism - it tends to create more problems than it solves: medical difficulties, problems caused by society's perception of self-injury, relationship problems, guilt, etc.
It can be argued that society's perception of/reaction to self-injury is their problem, not ours. This is true in a sense, but we have to live in the real world, and in the real world people think self-injury is bad and scary and weird. We can work to change that, but until it does change, we have to live with it.
Most self-injurers I know have other problems -depression, difficulty expressing emotion, lack of self-worth, problems communicating effectively with loved ones, impulse-control difficulties, etc.
Most self-injurers I know usually do not consciously choose self-injury after carefully considering all of the available options for coping with a situation. It tends to be an almost reflexive response. (one of the things I consider most important is getting people to put some distance between the impulse and the act - a little thinking/breathing room in which to consdier their options).
If a person considers all the options and decides that self-injury is the best way to cope with a situation, cool. It's their choice and that's as it should be.
People are free to choose whether they want to stop relying on self- injury as their main coping mechanism. If yes, then I will support them as much as I can. If no, then I will ask them to consider taking responsiblity for and control over the injuries they inflict on themselves. Ii would not have a problem with someone who said, "I hurt myself to deal with stress. I use it judiciously, and I am careful to decide how much and how badly to injure myself. I practice proper wound care. I'm not ashamed of my self-injury, and I don't hate myself."
Using distractions/alterative activities to avoid self-injury does not solve the huge underlying problems, it's true. What it can do is get the immediate intense emotion out in ways that have far fewer negative consequences. getting anger out by running or hitting a punching bag or slashing up a plastic bottle doesn't leave marks, doesn't get people asking you awkward questions, doesn't leave you vulnerable to infections and/or permanent physical damage. Dealing with sadness by taking a hot bath, wrapping yourself up in a blanket, huddling under a comforter with a book, etc., Iis not nearly as messy as self-injury.
BUS exists to be a safe place to talk about si. There is room here for anyone who thinks they need to be here, so long as they follow the guidelines. I try to keep the focus away from war stories (mostly because war stories lead to "mine is worse than yours" discussions a lot of the time. Also, the focus here is mroe on feelings and coping than on tools and methods.
