Stupid Drivers
I do a lot of driving, from commuting to school every morning to endless trips to the mall, I spend a lot of time in my car. And all this experience has led me to one simple conclusion, the driver’s test in Oregon must be incredibly easy to pass, because there are a lot of idiots out there on the road. You all know what I’m talking about, people who do things that are so stupid you really feel the need to flip them off, but don’t because you know that they won’t know why. Okay, maybe stupid is the wrong word. Perhaps ignorant is a more accurate description. Either way, I am now going to attempt to educate all of those people who don’t understand the rules of common courtesy when it comes to driving. So, now here are my top 5 list of automotive annoyances and simple ways that they can be remedied.
Annoyance number 1: People who drive too slow. I drive highway 34 to school every morning, and every morning I inevitably get stuck behind someone who thinks that the speed limit is 45 miles per hour, and that they are being a daredevil by doing a whole 50 miles per hour. Now, I personally like to cruise on the highway at 60-65 miles per hour on average (Yes, I know that is speeding. Arrest me.) and I really, really hate catching up to someone who is driving the aforementioned 50 miles an hour and being forced to slow down to their ludicrously slow speed. Now, the solution to this is simple. Speed up. That’s right, all the slow driver has to do is apply pressure to the rightmost pedal until they are traveling at at least the speed limit (which is 55 on 34, for those of you who don’t know). Of course, the other solution to this problem is for the slow driver to simply pull over and let the faster moving traffic pass (which is why 34 needs to be widened to 4 lanes, but that’s another editorial).
Annoyance number 2: People who drive too slow in the left lane. On a 4 lane road, annoyance number 1 shouldn’t be a problem, but, in this imperfect world we call home, it is a very common occurrence. Now, Oregon law states that slower moving traffic is supposed to keep right, and that the left lane is not to be used for any purpose other than passing slower moving cars, but, as I pointed out earlier, some people are ignorant to these laws. There are two parts to this annoyance. The first part is simply people who travel in the left lane for no apparent reason and refuse to move over for faster-moving cars. There are two ways to get past this annoyance, the first is to simply pass the slower-moving car on the right (feel free to express yourself with whatever gesture you feel is appropriate as you do), and the second is for the slower moving car to move over. There are some drivers who fall into a trancelike state while driving and apparently are oblivious to all other cars on the road. When you encounter drivers of this nature you have several options. Your first option is the good old headlights flash, which is (supposedly) a universally recognized sign to move over, but apparently there are very few people who realize this. Another option is to tailgate the other car until they decide to move over for fear of being in an accident (this isn’t exactly the safest option). My personal favorite option is a combination of the two, continue catching up to the slower car at your current rate of speed, then, at the last second change lanes and pass them (self-expression is always healthy at this point). The second part of this annoyance is people who drive along at the same speed as the car in the right lane, effectively keeping you "boxed in." There is only one solution to this problem, one of the slower cars must either pass the other one or slow down and let it pass them so that they can get into the same lane, (preferably the right one). This solution is so simple it’s a wonder more people don’t do it. Of course, if you are the driver stuck behind the two slow cars you are pretty much SOL unless you decide to employ the infamous (and very, very illegal) pass-on-the-right-using-the-turn-lane maneuver (which I don’t recommend, unless you want to become a greasy spot on the highway).
Annoyance number 3: People who don’t signal. This is one thing I really don’t understand. Why are certain people incapable of using their turn signals? Does it require too much effort to push the oh-so-heavy turn signal lever up and down? Or do they simply not possess enough brain power to concentrate on driving and try to figure out which way to push the lever for a left turn at the same time? The law states that you have to use your signal when turning and changing lanes. It’s that simple. The solution to this is as simple as the law itself, USE YOUR SIGNAL, I promise it won’t kill you, try it out. Heck, you might even like it.
Annoyance number 4: People who pull out too close in front of you. I know everyone has had experience with this one. You are driving along minding your own business and some guy decides to pull out in front of you, and I mean RIGHT in front of you. So close that you have to slow down a great deal to avoid rear-ending them. Of course, one of the most common responses to this is for the oncoming driver to pass the car entering the road in the turn lane (again, self-expression is always healthy in situations such as these). In my opinion, if the oncoming driver has to slow down at all while you accelerate, then you have pulled out too close to them. Now, I realize that there are certain situations where pulling out too close is unavoidable, but those are not the situations to which I am referring.
Annoyance number 5: People who think they own the road. I’m sure everyone can relate to this one, we’ve all had at least on run-in with people who drive like they are the only person on the road. These people think nothing of pulling out right in front of you and then cutting you off so that they can get into the left lane and drive too slow next to another driver so that you can’t pass. There are many ways to "get rid" of this type of road parasite. Unfortunately, none of them are legal (you can fill in the blanks). But, while you can’t remedy this problem, you can certainly make yourself feel better about the whole thing. How, you ask? Why self-expression, of course.
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