Sexual Harassment
Sexual harassment has become a large part of our everyday lives. From endless public service messages on TV to countless "prevention" meetings at work, it has become a prevalent topic. But, there is a point where a line must be drawn, before things get entirely too much out of hand, and with sexual harassment, I think we have reached, if not already passed, that point. The whole thing is just getting out of hand.
In a recent meeting at the store where I work (slave), my coworkers and I were instructed in the dos and donts of sexual harassment. We all got to watch a video and sign a pledge saying we understood what sexual harassment was and that we wouldn’t do it or we would get spanked (um….I think that’s what it said, oh wait, I just sexually harassed you). Basically you could boil everything that was said down to one simple concept: anything you do that offends someone else in a sexual manner is sexual harassment. Now I was thinking they meant things like grabbing someone’s butt or excessive come-ons and stuff like that, boy was I wrong. Sure, it includes all those things, but we were also told that things like putting your hand on someone else’s shoulder or telling jokes with sexual innuendoes. Okay, I can even understand how those things could be construed as harassment. Little did I know there was more to come. Did you know that calling a group of female employees "girls" is sexual harassment? Even calling them ladies could be taken as harassment. According to the company I work for, the only thing you can call female employees is women, and then only in a certain way. Example: "Excuse me women, but could I please get by?" right way. "Excuse me WOMEN, but could I please get by" wrong way.
Another aspect of this "sensitivity training" we all received that struck me as absurd was the whole "third party" concept. This basically says that even if the two parties involved in an action are okay with it, if someone else observes it and is offended, then it is harassment. Say my girlfriend comes into the store where I work. I see her, and give her a hug as a greeting and one of my coworkers sees me do it. That employee could then go to my boss and complain saying I harassed them because I hugged my girlfriend. I could be disciplined or even fired, just for a hug. The same goes for any other type of harassment, if someone is telling me a "dirty" joke and someone overhears, it is harassment, even if we didn’t know they were there. If one of my coworkers was to call a group of female employees "ladies" and someone overheard, even if every one of the group members was okay with it, it is harassment. This to me is overkill. If I tell one of my friends at work a joke it is meant for their ears only. If someone overhears it is their fault for listening to my conversation. This whole concept is absurd in my opinion, unless I see a couple "making out" in the back room or something, little that I see or overhear that is not directed towards me is going to offend me.
The whole "third party" issue could be easily resolved if people were a little more open-minded and less selfish. If I tell a "dirty" joke around someone and they tell me they don’t appreciate humor of that type, I would never tell a joke of that nature around them again, simple as that. Of course, if someone told me that they were offended by that type of thing and I persisted to talk about it around them, then it becomes harassment. But only when that happens, not the first time.
Another part of the harassment issue that really upsets me is the whole stereotypical aspect of it. Every thing I have seen on TV, in magazines, and even on the video at work shows men harassing women. I know this is probably the way it goes 90 percent of the time given the nature of men, but it isn’t always the case. For example: there is one female manager at my store that constantly refers to my friend and I as "boys." This doesn’t bother me because there is no reason it should, she is not trying to demean us or anything, she is just referring to us as a group. But, according to the almighty book-o-harassment, it could be construed as harassment if a male manager referred to a group of female employees in a similar manner. I guess it is different for women though because I imagine they feel a lot more threatened by an over-friendly man that a guy would with a similar female manager, so I can understand why it is predominately females that are portrayed as being harassed. I just wish they would throw in a few examples of females harassing males because it does happen (anyone seen "Disclosure?").
In closing, I just want to reaffirm that this whole issue has been taken perhaps one step too far. If everyone would just lighten up then we would see less problems. I’m not trying to say that serious harassment does not happen, because I know it does and it can ruin careers. I just think that it has been taken to extremes. So, if any of the writers of those infamous "training videos" are reading this, lighten up a little, OK?
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