Downtown Tokyo Roadkill Fiesta

Premire

Announcer: Hey, kiddies! It's that time... I'm DarkKnight, he's Blobbin Hood, and you're reading... DOWNTOWN TOKYO ROADKILL FIESTA! The first SM fanfic by Adrianna done entirely in SCRIPT FORM! Blobbin Hood: This episode of DOWNTOWN TOKYO ROADKILL FIESTA brought to you by... the new gameshow, I DON'T CARE! The only gameshow where nobody cares! Anyway, back to DarkKnight for tonight's edition of DOWNTOWN TOKYO ROADKILL FIESTA! DarkKnight: Thanks, Blobbin Hood. Well, I'm excited about tonight's matchup. It seems the Sailor Scouts bought some wheels for the first episode of our glorious sports match. Let's go to them now. Sailor Moon: Hello? Hello? Is this thing on? Random Reporter Dude #1: Yeah. So, what wheels did you buy for tonight? Sailor Moon: Well, I bought an Overly Large Moon Stick on Wheels. OLMSW for short. RRD1: Kewl. Uh... let's go to Sailor Mercury. Sailor Mercury: Hiya! RRD1: Um, so what did you get for tonight? Mercury: A Mercury, of course. I've made a few modifications so it's more aerodynamic... RRD1: Urm... cool. Let's go to Sailor Mars. What've you done? Mars: I'm riding a black Firebird. Say, ever thought that it's weird that we have cars and NO DRIVER'S LISENCE? RRD1: Yup... urm... no... AAA! Okay, onto Sailor Jupiter. Jupiter: Thunderbird. Get lost before I kick your face in! DarkKnight: It appears Jupiter had a bad day... lotsa taunts from our guest driver, he's coming up later. Anyway, back to the floor. RRD1: I'm here with Sailor Venus. She seems to have a rather unusual selection tonight. Venus? Sailor Venus: That's right, Random Reporter Dude #1. I have an orange pickup truck... DarkKnight: What's so weird about that? Sailor Venus: ...with a neuclear missile strapped in the back. DarkKnight: Oooooh. Okay, now without further ado, we'd like to introduce (roll crummy music please) our GUEST RIDER! Here he is, folks. Guest Rider, please introduce yourself! BUMBADDUABUMP! Guest Rider: You may know me as that weird guy who throws airplanes at people, or the Idiot that Fails Queen Beryl, but most people know me as Jeadite! DarkKnight: And what will you be riding tonight? Jeadite: Why, on a grounded Jumbo Jet, of course! Blobbin Hood: Courtesy of Jeadite Airlines. What do you think the Negaverse Generals do on their days off? DarkKnight: Okay, here's the rules. Our contestants will be riding around downtown Tokyo, trying to run over anything or anyone in their way. This includes spectators, raccoons, celebrities, buildings, and members of the armed forces. The more they run over, the more points they get. Oh, yeah, they'll also try to kill each other. Anyway, let's get this show on the road! BUZZZZZZZZZZZ! DarkKnight: And they're off! Looks like Sailor Mars is taking a cruise around the Crossroads Junior High campus... ooo! Raccoon! Sailor Mars: Heh heh heh. Mars Fire Ignite! BAWOOSSSHHHHH!! Raccoon: Chitter Chitter... eep! DarkKnight: Ohhh... Raccoon Flambe! That's ten points for Mars, another five for being inventive, as well as supplying the audience with cocktail weenies. Bloobin Hood: Yeah, and they're good, too! DarkKnight: Let's go to the inside-car cam on Sailor Jupiter. She seems unstable tonight. Blobbin Hood: Yeah. I expect to see her going after Jeadite. Sailor Jupiter: Ooooo... hot dog stand! Heh heh... just practice for when I meet up with that loser Jeadite... Random Hotdog Dude #1: Hotdogs! Get yer hotdogs! Free laxatives with each purchase! Oh my... CRASSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! DarkKnight: Ohhhhh... looks like that'll hurt in the morning! Luckily we have 911 on speed dial and a good lawyer there too. Fifteen points for Jupiter! Blobbin Hood: Judging from our Guest-Driver-Track-O-Vision (TM) system, Jeadite is converging on Sailor Jupiter right now... Jumbo Jets sure can move! Sailor Jupiter: Bring out the lightning rod! DarkKnight: Looks like a large version of Sailor Jupiter's tiara has emerged from the Thunderbird... judging from the clouds tonight, Jeadite could be in for quite a shock. Hold on... we have a development! Sailor Mercury is approaching a destructable object! Sailor Mercury: Actually, a person. Eat dirt, Random Reporter Dude! DarkKnight: Looks like one of the headlights is pulling up to reveal... a hole? Uh-oh... there's a foam ball popping out... RIGGED WITH C-4??? GET DOWN, BLOBBIN HOOD! RRD#1: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! BADOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!! DarkKnight: Looks like we'll have to hire another Random Reporter Dude. Did someone say "running joke?" Ten points for Mercury. Blobbin Hood: Okay, we've got a situation. Looks like Jeadite and Jupiter are mixing it up. Let's switch to Random Reporter Sky Cam-o-Vision (TM). Random Helicopter Pilot #1: Well, DarkKnight, looks like Jeadite is mixing it up with Jupiter down here. Jeadite is currently... standing on the front of... bzztt!! Bzzt! Blobbin Hood: Huh? What's that? Come in? Come in? Okay, let's switch to the Jupiter windshield cam... Jupiter: HA HAAAA!!! EAT THAT, JEADITE!!!!!! Blobbin Hood: Jeadite is completely charred from a thunderbolt called down by Sailor Jupiter... but since this is a cartoon, nobody really dies, kiddies! What's this? Here comes Sailor Venus... STAND CLEAR! Sailor Venus: Enough with this corny show. I'm outta here!!!!!!! DarkKnight: Sailor Venus is about to run into Tokyo Tower... watch it! Evacuate! AIEEEEEE!!!! KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!! ::We are currently experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by.:: Fzzttt!! Fzzzttt! DarkKnight (now charred): Well, that's it for this edition of... DOWNTOWN TOKYO ROADKILL FIESTA! Home
How'd you like my very corny script? E-mail me at DarkKnight119@rocketmail.com!
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