To Ride No More
By Suzy
Copyright 1999
Chapter Five
Teaspoon had played the last card in his hand, hoping that Jimmy's love of Lou would be the only thing that would drag Jimmy out of the morass of self blame he was sinking into. If he was lucky that strong protective nature and deep love of Lou would force the young and sometimes vulnerable Jimmy to honour his promise and help Lou endure the pain she must be feeling. When he reached the doctor's surgery unsure how to begin to explain to the rest of the family, he beckoned to Rachel through the window.
'Did you find Jimmy?' she asked her pretty face drawn into a tight frown as she walked out onto the porch.
'He's taking his pain out on some bottles and cans. Has anything happened?' Teaspoon asked her
'Kid woke up not long after you left, the boys went back in to talk to him while he's awake. Doc says that he wants everyone to go home and get some rest, to come back in the morning.'
'Rachel, this is worse then you know. He confided in Jimmy, that's why he's so upset, Kid can't move his legs.' he thought he should let it out in the open
'Oh no, how?...' she paused 'But..' Rachel sank into the porch chair behind her. 'Poor, poor baby, they had such dreams now what are they going to do.' tears welled afresh in her eyes unable to form a coherent thought with the visions of the pain and suffering the loss of his ability to walk would cause to the proud active young man in the surgery.
'"Would you two like to come in and see Kid? Doc wants to give him some more Laudanum so he can get some rest' Cody poked his head out the door.
' Cody come here please?' Teaspoon asked the blonde rider.
"what is it Teaspoon?' Cody asked as he closed the door behind him and walked out onto the porch.
'Cody, it pains me to say this but you all need to know.' Teaspoon started to explain, Cody impatient as always interrupted.
'Teaspoon, what is it?'
'Cody it looks like Kid can't use his legs.' Teaspoon let that news sink in 'Lou doesn't know yet, and I don't want any of you to tell her until Kid is ready to tell her, I just want you to all look out for her.' he spoke 'Please try not to say anything that will hurt her, I know you don't mean to, but sometimes you don't think before you speak. Please try to be careful.'
'Sure thing Teaspoon' the unusually sombre blonde rider spoke.
Cody walked back inside and Teaspoon sank onto the bench beside Rachel, taking her into his loving embrace.
'It will all warok out Rachel, trust me, if this is God's will then he will find a way to help them.' Teaspoon spoke, never a terribly religous man, he couldn't help but feel if there was a God he would look after the truly good people of the world.
"They all deserve so much more, this can't be happening haven't they all lost enough already. Can't they just once have a happy life, for a while, they're all such good kids.' she sobbed sinking against Teaspoon's shoulder.
--oo0000oo--
Lou sat by her husband's side and held his hand tightly, keeping some tenuous contact with the man who was her soulmate, the other half of her whole, the centre of her universe. It had taken the events of the past few months to make her realise that what she felt for Jimmy was a deep love, but it was the love of a sister for her brother and she felt certain that it always would be. No longer was her heart or her mind confused, life wasn't long enough and our hold on it is tenuous as best, Noah's death had shown her that. Kid was the true love of her life and his injury now made her understand just heow deep that love was. The only thought in her mind now was not for herself or even the baby growing in her belly but for the brave and honourable man laying before her. She spoke to him in gentle tones affirming her love for him with every word as he drifted in and out of consciousness, hoping that she could somehow help him to stay with her and his loved ones. Wondering every time his eyes closed if that would be the last time she would look into his eyes, she tried not to let her tears show, she didn't want his last memory of her to be of sadness.
Buck and Cody stood behind Lou's chair, both of them uncomfortable with the scene before them, but both wanting to offer Lou the support they knew that she would soon be needing. Tears welled in both their eyes, Buck unable to control the lone tear that escaped his eye at the pain in Lou's heart. He put a comforting hand on her shoulder, wanting her to know that she was not alone and they were all there to support her.
'Lou' Kid murmured 'Lou go home.' he spoke a little louder.
'Kid, I'm not going anywhere honey, until I am sure you're going to be fine.' she soothed him her other hand lifting to brush his hair back from his forehead
'Lou' he started to become agitated 'Go home, please' he pleaded, trying to roll ontohis back and sit up, Cody walked closer to the bed and put one strong hand on Kid's hip to stop him rolling back. Doc Barnes moved from the doorway to the side of the bed, a chloroform soaked cloth in his hand.
'Louise, I think it would b best if you all leave, I can't afford to have him distressed, I don't want him to tear any of the stitches.' he paused seeing the stuborn obstinate streak in her he knew so well. 'Lou, you have to leave, for him, he won't rest while you are here.'
Lou stood and placed a gentle kiss on Kid's forehead, frowning as he tryied to turn his head away from her. she backed away from the bed and collided with Buck's chest, he put a steadying arm around her and held her as Kid spoke again. Kid looked up at Buck his eyes full of pain both physical and emotional, as he spoke to Buck.
'Buck, I don't want you to let her come back here, I don't want to see her again...ever!' he spoke seeng Lou's reaction to his words, was almost like tearing his heart from his chest, but in his own mind he had to do it.
'Kid I love you, please don't do this.' she cried 'You know I love you' she cried
'I mean it Buck I don't want her back her again.' turning his head to Lou.
'I don't love you. I never have. I just wanted to take you from Jimmy.' Kid spoke, his eyes closing.
Kid's last statement the final straw for Lou's tattered emotions, she did something, she had never done before, fainted.
On to Chapter Six
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