In the coming weeks Kid spent more time with Samantha, taking lunch to her at the school house, long walks, and rides into the countryside. He liked Samantha; she had a spark of adventure in her that reminded him of Lou. He was surprised how well she was taking all this. Under the surface Lou was hurt by him seeing Samantha but she hid it very well. She blew up at Kid now and then about chores and work related stuff, shifting her anger in that direction. Kid would snap back at Lou, words would be said, and they'll be at each other's throats. Then the next day: civil again.

Jimmy and Lou ended up alone on a run to take Ellis Mills to be hung. That night their relationship changed. They shared a kiss more passionate then any she had had with the Kid. It was different with Jimmy than with Kid. Lou couldn't exactly explain it to her self let alone anyone else who would want to know. Jimmy told her to forget it, but she knew she couldn't. After coming back things just went back to normal for Jimmy, Lou thought, at least. But Jimmy was just as torn about the kiss as she was. They kept it to themselves and went on being friends.

A couple days later the town had a festival and dance. Kid took Samantha and of course, Jimmy asked Lou. This threw Kid for a loop. His friend who said he'd never go after Lou started to do just that. Well, he guessed she wasn't his anymore. It was harder for Lou to meet guys then it was for Kid to meet ladies. He knew this and he was now feeling what Lou had when he and Samantha started going out.

The guys waited down stairs for the ladies to finish getting ready. Rachel came down in a green dress that accentuated her eyes and made her hair glow against the color. The Samantha followed in her pink gown and Lou done up in royal blue. The bright blue brought out her hair and hit every curve she had. Kids eyes bulged out at Lou's presence, she was more beautiful than an angel. He had given her up??? He though about going up to her kissing her and begging her to take him back, just for a split second. Jimmy took her hand and walked out the door. Kid then followed with Samantha. He couldn't get Lou's image out of his mind. He had to though if he was to be a polite gentleman to his date Samantha, who was just as lovely as the rest of the ladies this evening.

Jimmy danced with Lou most of the night but she danced as well with the rest of the riders. They each complimented her on how she transformed into a rose right before them, well at least according to Buck. That made her blush.

Lou was dancing with Jimmy and felt so free dancing with him. When the music slowed he held her even closer to his body. She felt secure in his arms. His eyes seemed to open the gate to his heart. She read his mind like and open book. She liked this story a lot and smiled, wondering how it would all end. She wanted to kiss him again. She was using all her restraint. Jimmy wanted to kiss her as well. Lou could feel it and see it in his eyes. Finally the music faded again and applause. Jimmy and Lou then removed themselves from their earlier trance. Kid then asked Lou to dance while Samantha was resting her heels and listened politely to what Noah was talking about.

"She's all yours Kid." Jimmy then excused himself.

"Lou, you look extravagant tonight."

"Thank you Kid, you don't look so bad your self." His eyes were dashing and Lou's body felt so warm just to be this close to Kid again. But Jimmy's eyes fell deep into her soul. They danced and talked a bit, avoiding all controversial topics that could lead them into open war. Kid couldn't help but stare at Lou. She was beautiful. Wearing a dress seemed to expose Lou's vulnerable side. She lost her rough, tough exterior and became a gentle woman, graceful.

The next day Lou didn't have a run to make and took a free day away from the station. Lou spent her day relaxing under a shaded tree. She sat with her dairy reading over past entries and how her feeling have changed. Recently Lou had been keeping to herself, unsure what to think about her kiss with Jimmy. So much was behind it. What about Kid? He didn't just disappear either. She spent these past few days contemplating her feelings for the two most important men in her life.

During these past weeks Kid had grown fonder and fonder of Samantha, the schoolteacher. Lou saw within Samantha everything Kid wanted to make her into. She realized that she would always love Kid and he'd hold a place in her heart. But Samantha was the woman for him.

Kid was too over protective and always smothering her with concern and worry. She didn't mind it sometimes and even enjoyed him fussing over her. But other times it was too much. They seemed to argue all the time about this and that. He wanted a woman who could cook, clean, stay at home, entertain guests and need him to protect her and be there for her always. Lou realized she was not that kind of a woman. She enjoyed being free and actually liked doing the guys work around the station. Sure Lou loved to dress up and have all eyes staring at her but she wasn't anywhere near ready to give up her life to be that little house wife for no man.

As she sat with the wind in her hair, her thoughts then turned to Jimmy. He was a man who also worried over her and watched out for her. But he also gave her room to breathe and be free. Kid would want to put her in a glass case and show her off to the world but never remove her from it, in fear of breaking what was inside. Jimmy on the other hand had her in a glass case as well but he took her out and showed her off and let her go where she wanted. He trusted her abilities and knew she was tough enough to hold her own. She realized Jimmy had always owned a part of her soul. She needed him.

She didn't know how to convince Jimmy to open himself up to her and say what she already knew was in his heart. He was a hard man, always hiding his deeper emotions and letting very few people inside him. He loved her but wouldn't hurt Kid to be with her. He felt that the Kid and her were meant for each other but Lou was not sure of that anymore. Lou wanted Jimmy through every fiber of her being since that kiss. Jimmy believed he could not give her the life she deserved but she felt any life with him was what she wanted. Just to be with him, through his hell and back if need be.

She had to talk to Kid first. He was out with Samantha and would be back later. She gathered her belongings and decided to head over to the watering hole for a therapeutic swim, if the guys weren't there on sure a gorgeous day as this. As she swam around the warm water she never felt so clear on her feelings as she did now. She knew the direction she wanted her life to go. When she returned she saw Kid taking care of Katie in the barn as she put her horse away.

"Hey Kid, can I talk to you for a minute?" Now that she started this conversation she couldn't back out of it. She wasn't sure what would come out of her mouth next.

"Sure Lou, what is it?" Kid said a bit concerned, as he was worried over what she might say next. To Kid Lou was beautiful to him. He wanted to be with her again but knew some how he couldn't. Not after their last fight.

"I think Samantha is the perfect woman for you," she said honestly.

This made Kid stop dead in his tracks. That was the last thing he'd thought she'd say. Those words angered him. He thought Lou was being sarcastic about his new girlfriend.

"What ever you want to say about her Lou, just say it!" Kid snapped.

"I'm being honest Kid. She is everything you tried to change me into and I couldn't handle that. I still care about you Kid and I am actually happy to see that you found someone that makes you happy."

Kid wasn't sure to make of all this. He felt ashamed at his earlier attitude.

"I'm sorry Lou, but not even Samantha could ever make me as complete as you have. I still need you."

Those words didn't make what Lou wanted to say any easier. She loved Kid too but came to the honest conclusion that it wouldn't work between them. They had tried, tried and tried again.

"Kid I will always care about you and love you but I can't go on with the constant worry and hysteria you have for me. I'm just too independent for that. I can't live up to your ideals."

"I don't want you to change, I don't want you any other way than you are right now."

Lou pondered for a moment on how to word her next thoughts…

"Kid I see the way you look and smile at Samantha. You wish I could be like her, but I'm not. What I'm going to say now there's only one way to say this…There's someone else that I love who treats me with respect and believes in my abilities as a person. I'm not saying you never did but he gives me some room to be myself and doesn't try to argue with me every time over what I can and cannot do. He doesn't want to change me in anyway and lives a life that I want to live, not one that's stationary and constant."

Kid's eyes burned like fire, filled with pain and anger. Those words pierced his heart ripping it to shreds. Lou even saw a tear come down from his eyes.

"I can't deny what I feel Kid, I can't tell my heart what to do. It does it on its own."

He stared at her, knowing whom Lou was talking about. Lou went on to explain what happened between her and Jimmy by the fire after taking Elias and the Kiss. Without saying another word Kid stormed out of the barn and Lou was powerless to stop him. Lou herself burst into tears as she broke one of her best friends' hearts and now she was in limbo. She drove one man away and now needed to get the other to open up to her.

Jimmy along with Cody and Ike saw Kid burst out of the barn like it was on fire.

"Well another lovers quarrel heats up again. Never a dull moment around with those two." Cody commented.

Ike hit Cody upside the head for his lack of concern over his friends. Jimmy as usual went to find Lou. Cody and Ike stayed back and found it best to just leave Jimmy to solve the problem.

He entered the barn to find Lou sitting in the hayloft above filled with tears in her eyes. He climbed up and sat beside her. Without saying a word he placed his arm around her and she held him tightly not wanting to let go.

"Are you OK?" Jimmy asked.

"I just told him that I don't love him the way I use too and that he was lucky to have found someone like Samantha. She is everything he needs."

Shocked by this Jimmy came to Kid's defense. "He loves you and Samantha is no where near the perfect woman for him. You are Lou. I know you love him too. You guys were meant for each other."

"No!" Lou shouted, "Kid owns a part of my heart and always will just like the rest of you boys but only one has captured my soul." She looked up into his eyes for some kind of reciprocation.

Jimmy looked right back at her and realized she was talking about him. He had waited forever for this moment and thought it would never come. He longed to kiss her right then but he couldn't hurt Kid, his best friend.

"No, you're wrong Lou."

"Who are you to dictate to me my feelings when you can't even confront your own?"

Those words hit like a knife into his heart.

All Jimmy could reply was, "Kid can give you the world, everything you deserve. I can only get you shot in the back."

He didn't turn around but just stormed out side and grabbed his horse to go after Kid.

Cody and Ike still working outside saw Jimmy burst out and ride off like Kid. Cody then looked at Ike. I'm not going in there. No way. Ike signed.

Lou was inside and though to herself… Oh, what have I done now? I've lost them both. Her eyes watered and she sank down into the hayloft corner and cried and tried to think of a way to straighten this whole mess out. No matter what way she looked at it everyone got hurt.

To be continued...

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