The sun was blazing down on the small town forcing the inhabitants to move slower and more leisurely than they normally would have. The pastel hues of ladies parasols littered the sidewalk as far as the eye could see and for a moment, the young woman felt an acute pang of envy. She looked down at her work-roughened hands for an instant, wishing instead they were smooth ivory covered by delicate silk gloves like the other women wore. She sighed audibly and lifted the heavy crate, carrying it carefully into the mercantile shop.

“It’s about time you got back.” A loud voice boomed from the back of the store. It was a voice that she was beginning to hate.

“I’m sorry sir.” Lou muttered in the low voice she was now accustomed to using.

“I tell you, it sure is hard to find decent help these days.” The large man continued, speaking to the elegant-dressed woman in front of the counter.

“I don’t doubt it Mister Rollins. Just look at him. I wouldn’t think he’d be able to handle the work, what with his size and all.” The woman replied, disdain dripping from her voice.

Lou bristled at the comment but said nothing. She instead thought about Teresa and Jeremiah. She had no other way to support herself at the moment and needed a place to stay, if for only a little while to mull over her options. Working at the large dry goods store was only the latest pit stop on her way to finding fortune. She had worked odd jobs for the last five years, trying to find her niche in the growing western society, all the while disguised as a man.

“Yeah, well he don’t even do a good job. I only keep him on because the Missus feels sorry for him.” Rollins said.

“Well I think you’d be better off sending him away. He looks like he’s hiding something. I’m sure he’ll steal from you the first chance he gets.”

Lou bit down on her tongue painfully as she deposited the heavy box on the floor of the supply room. Never before had she received such callous treatment. They talked about her, or him as they thought, like she wasn’t standing within hearing distance. She felt humiliated and her cheeks started burning with shame.

“Why, he’s as dirty as you please. I’ve seen pigs cleaner than him, and they smell a lot better than him too!” She continued as Rollins laughed heartily.

Lou longed to open her mouth and defend herself. She was dirty from lifting and carrying crates all day. Her muscles ached and her head pounded, but still she continued. She longed to tell the portly store owner that he was lucky to have someone like her. She doubted anyone else would tolerate his treatment or the meager scraps he fed her. Not to mention the fact that she had to sleep in the drafty barn with the horses, only a moth-eaten blanket to ward of the cold.

She wanted to tell the woman how cruelly Rollins treated his wife and children, but she said nothing as she pushed her glasses upon her pert nose. She caught sight of her dirty fingernails and was momentarily mortified. However, she quickly walked past the laughing pair, ignoring the woman’s wrinkled nose, and sighed in relief as she reached the outside. She didn’t know how much more degradation she could take before her pride swelled and she said something she would regret.

She had never thought of herself as prideful, but lately she had begun to question that notion. She took every snide remark personally and her heart physically ached when she thought of all the humiliation she suffered daily. She was finding it harder and harder to keep her comments to herself. She wondered if that meant she was selfish. She had promised her mother that she would look after her siblings and she planned on doing so. She had never imagined how difficult it would be.

Protected by young naivity, she had foolishly believed that finding a job, and then a home would only take a few months at the most. However, it had been almost five years since she had last seen her brother and sister, and she found herself wondering whether they had given up hope of ever seeing her again.

She didn’t fool herself into believing that this job would in any way enable her to retrieve Teresa and Jeremiah, but it was the best she could do at the moment. Wandering from town to town in hopes of finding lucrative opportunities had begun to dampen her spirits.

“Look you runt, I don’t pay you to stand around and daydream all day. You’re not leavin’ here until all these crates are put in the store room.” Rollins bellowed as he stepped onto the walk in front of the store.

“Yes sir.” Lou replied weakly as she lifted a box full of canned goods that certainly had to weight more than she did. However, she’d rather die than show how heavy it was. She walked back into the store, but not before hearing the final exchange between the rough store owner and he prissy woman.

“Well Mister Rollins, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“Thank you Missus Calvert, but I’ve got the young pup under control.”

“Well, I hope so, for your sake. Good day.”

Lou wanted so much to quit on the spot and tell the man to haul in his own load, but the rational part of her being took over. She quickly curbed her temper by counting slowly to ten, a trick that Sister Frances had taught her at the orphanage. Wiping her blistered hands on her dusty trousers, she emerged from the stockroom, prepared for another barrage of insults.

By the time Lou closed the door behind her, the sun had long been replaced by the kinder moon and a gentle breeze blew across the town. Rollins had left hours ago, giving strict orders that Lou was not to go home until the last crate was securely placed in the store. If the lazy man had bothered to help her, she would have been home long before the sun set. However, during lulls in business, he busied himself by drinking cheap whiskey in the back room. She knew that drink only made him meaner to his wife and children.

She shivered unconsciously as she thought of the all the abuse, both physical and verbal, his family received while she sat in the barn. She hated herself during these moments when self-preservation was stronger than her need to intervene. She remembered vaguely the words of her mother: “Louise, there are two types of people in this world I despise. Those who take advantage of the weaker, and those who stand by while it is being done.” Lou realized that she had become one of the people that her mother had warned her about.

With renewed will, she vowed that she wouldn’t stand by any longer while the brute bullied his family. Even though her entire body ached, she raced towards the shop keepers house, knowing that his tirade would begin soon.

She was not disappointed when she finally reached the moderate sized house half a mile from town. Through the delicate laced curtains of the front window, Lou could see Rollins’ silouhette stagger towards his wife, fist raised in fury. Before she knew what was happening, she was running up the porch steps and barging through the door just as Ellen was flung against the wall. Seeing the woman holding her jaw and cowering before her husband enraged Lou. Ellen had been kind to her from the beginning, bandaging her blisters and sneaking her extra food.

“What are you doin’ here boy? Go mind your own business.” Rollins slurred drunkenly.

“You’re not goin’ to hit on her anymore!” Lou replied stubbornly.

“Lou, do as he says.” Ellen whispered.

“I told you to shut up woman!” Rollins roared as he lunged for his wife.

Lou leapt on his back, wrapping her arms around his neck in a choke hold. However, her scrawny arms were no match against his rough hands and soon she found herself sprawled on the floor. He gave her a kick to the side that knocked the wind out of her. While she lay breathless, he turned again to his helpless wife.

Lou began feeling around the floor, trying to find something to defend herself with. Finally, her hands rested on a heavy iron-cast vase that had been knocked off the table in the initial melee. With steady hands and all the force in her small body, she brought the vase down on his skull. For a horrifying moment, Lou thought the weapon had no effect, but that notion was eventually dispelled as he fell to the ground in a large heap.

“Did you... kill him?” Ellen gulped.

Lou looked from her swollen face to the shallow rise and fall of Rollins’ chest. “No, he’s still alive.”

“You have to get out of here...he’ll kill you when he wakes up.” Ellen said as she stood up.

“What about you?”

“Don’t worry about me child. I’ve been dealing with him for fifteen years.”

“He’s going to kill you one of these days! Leave now while you still have the chance.”

Just as Lou spoke these words, Rollins was beginning to stir and mumble incoherently. Lou turned her frantic eyes to Ellen once more before understanding that the woman had no intention of escaping.

“I don’t understand you.” Lou said quietly as she bent down to pick up her glasses and ran out the door.

She didn’t know where she would go. She just knew that she couldn’t stay in town any longer. She slowed down a bit once she reached the edge of the yard to catch her bearings. However, as she turned around to survey the house, she saw Rollins on the porch, rifle poised in hand, clumsily trying to load it.

She began to run in the darkness even as he fired a shot. The closest town was Sweetwater and that was at least a days ride. There was no telling how long it would take on foot, but she didn’t have any other options. She finally slowed down when the pain in her chest grew to much to bare.

She looked around her at the desolate plains and wondered how she’d ever make it as far as Sweetwater. The sun would be overhead in a few hours and the heat would be nearly unbearable. All she wanted to do was curl up and go to sleep, but she knew that she had to make the most mileage at night for it would be too dangerous in the day.

With blistered hands and feet, Lou finally reached Sweetwater. The trip had taken three days since she only traveled at night. During the day, she sought shelter from the sun’s rays in various caverns she found along the way.

She was dirty, sore and extremely hungry, but she felt pride in herself and abilities. She had done what she thought impossible only a few days ago. It was midmorning when she stood on the large sidewalk, viewing the large sign posted to a wall outside of the local saloon.

She felt her heart swell with renewed hope. This was the perfect opportunity for her to raise the funds to set up a new life for herself and her siblings. She crossed the street where a crowd of young men were standing in line. A few of them looked at her in askance and incredulity. She knew people underestimated her because of her small stature.

It was an hour before she finally entered the small hot room where a short man was eyeing her wearily. She knew that compared to the other strapping young men he’d seen, she looked incompetent. Suprisingly though, he smiled revealing large white teeth.

“Young man, you have a lot of grit...do you think you’ll be able to handle the work?” The man asked in a nasal voice.

“Of course.” Lou said with confidence that she genuinely felt.

The man laughed a short while at her gusto before continuing. “Very well. I like the look of you. You’ve got spunk, and you’ll definitely need plenty of it. Now, as to your horse--”

“But I don’t have a horse!” Lou interrupted.

“You don’t have a horse? Well for Pete’s Sake boy, I’m afraid I can’t give you a position until you have your own mount.”

“But...how am I goin’ to do that?”

“You look clever to me. I’m sure you’ll figure something out. Next!” The man said dismissively.

Lou stood frozen in place until she heard the next lad walk in behind her. She walked out of the office dejectedly. She had been so close! All her problems would have been solved, but of course there had been a catch. Life seemed to be full of those lately.

She began to walk aimlessly through the busy town, not caring where she ended up. Through her tired haze, she heard a familiar voice call out her name several times. She finally looked up and met Ellen’s tired eyes.

“Miss Rollins, what are you doin’ here? Is Mister Rollins--”

“I’ve left him Lou! I’m heading to Fort Kearny to stay with my brother for a while. You made me realize that I just couldn’t live like that anymore...Thank you!”

“I’m just glad you got out of there.” Lou replied smiling.

“So, what are you doin’ here?”

“I uh...I was tryin’ to get a job with the pony express.”

“The Pony Express! Why, isn’t that exciting. Well, what happened?”

“You have to have your own horse...and well--”

Suddenly Ellen brightened and she grabbed Lou’s arm. “Come with me.” she said mysteriously.

Lou cleared her throat nervously as she repeated the words written on the crisp piece of paper in front of her.

“ I do hereby swear, before the Great and living God, that during my engagement and while I am an employee of Russell, Majors & Waddell, that I will under no circumstances use profane language; that I will drink no intoxicating liquors; that I will not quarrel or fight with any other employee of the firm, and that in every respect I will conduct myself honestly, be faithful to my duties, and so direct all my acts as to win the confidence of my employers. So help me God.”

She signed the bottom where the man indicated and smiled. Finally after five long years, she was on her way. She accepted the bible and five dollars from the agent and walked through the doors. The day suddenly seemed brighter and she closed her eyes as she turned her face up to the sun for a moment, reveling in the warmth.

The impatient stamp of her horse brought her back to reality. She patted the animal’s neck gently, admiring it’s black glistening coat. Ellen had surprised her by allowing her to take Lightning off her hands with no charge. She vowed however that she would pay the woman back as soon as she could.

“Well, come on girl. We’ve got a job to do.” Lou whispered as she mounted the horse. “I hope it’ll be as exciting as they say!”

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