DISCLAIMER: The Young Riders is the creation of Ed Spielman, and the property of Ogiens/Kane productions in association with MGM/UA television. This Story is created for entertainment purposes only, no infringement intended. Not to be copied without permission from the author.
Buck held her close, her soul wracking sobs breaking his heart. His own tears falling tto dampen the top of her head as she burrowed against him. Buck raised his eyes to meet Rachel’s as she stood outside the cemetery watching them both closely through tear clouded eyes, trying to decide if she should intrude on what seemed to be a private moment, or to even beging try to help either of her young friends through their misery.
“Lou, please darlin, you’re scaring Mary” he tried to use her love for her daughter to pull her back from the pit of sorrow she was fast sinking into, but her sobs continued unabated as he held her against him, his fingers absently stroking her soft hair, helpless against the tide of her grief.
Realising that she was no longer even aware of the world around her, he swung her into his arms and began to walk slowly back to the house. He carried her to the room she had shared for so long with Kid and knew that it would be the only place that she might be able to find peace in. Knowing that Rachel had followed him into the room, he deposited Lou gently onto her bed, and left the room quickly without speaking, leaving Rachel to take care of Lou, before he lost the tight hold he had on his own emotions. Walking quickly back down the stairs he headed straight for the barn, needing to be alone with his own grief. Leaning against the back wall of the barn, he slid down the wall until he was seated on the ground, his arms resting on his knees his head in his hands and broke down, his emotions reaching breaking point as he sobbed, great gulping sobs, his breathing uneven, his tears flowing freely. In front of the others, no matter how great his pain, he forced himself to keep control of his rapidly unravelling emotions.
He didn’t know how long he sat there, lost in his grief, missing the man who had helped him overcome so much hurt and sorrow, but a small hand on his arm drew him back from the morass of anguish that consumed him. He looked up into the wide blue eyes of his god daughter, so much like her fathers, and saw the pain that his grief was causing her. He swiped the back of both hands across his cheeks to smooth away his tears and forced a tight smile onto his face.
“What’s wrong honey?’ he spoke softly, lifting her into his arms and sitting her on his lap.
“Can I kiss it better Uncle Buck?” she spoke softly, her tiny hand wiping tears from his face
“No Mary, I don’t think you can honey’ he answered her, trying to ease a little of her confusion without hurting her
“But Papa said that a kiss will always make you feel better if you’re hurting” she answered smiling that she remembered one of her papa’s favourite expressions.
“I don’t think it will work this time honey.’ Buck smiled at her knowing that she didn’t understand the events that were taking place around her. He had loved Kid and Lou’s youngest child like she was his own since the moment he had first laid eyes on her, she had the most serene and caring soul that he had ever encountered in a young child, even before she was old enough to speak seeming to know when her family were hurting and trying to sooth their pain, just by a simple hug. It also seemed to him that she felt the same kinship with him, because she was never far from his side, a fact which had always amused Kid, since Buck’s own daughter had shared a special bond with Kid, he had taught her to ride and care for the horses in their ownership, a task Starr seemed to relish.
“Uncle Buck’ Mary hit him gently on the chest her own tears glistening on her spiky black lashes. ‘You’re not listening to me’ she spoke her childish voice indignant
“I’m sorry honey, what did you say?’ he asked turning his attention back to her.
“Papa’s not coming back is he.’ She asked softly
“No sweetheart’ Buck almost choked on his words “he’s gone away to heaven Mary” Buck had trouble knowing what to say to the beautiful little cherub in his arms, Mary had been told that her father was in heaven, maybe when she was older she would understand what had happened, but both he and Rachel felt that she wouldn’t understand much more than she had already been told.
“is he with Aunt Jenny and Jimmy and Emma and Isaac?’ she asked her tiny face creased into a frown.
“He is darling, he’s looking over all of us, he will always be with you, no matter where you are, your papa will be looking out for you.’ His voice grew hoarse with emotion as he tried to ease her mind. She nodded as she sat in his lap, then looked up at him again, her eyes full of tears.
“Mama is not going to go too is she?’ she asked her bottom lip quivering
“No sweetheart” Buck realised that Mary thought she was going to be left alone in the world after hearing her mother’s grief
“But she said that she wanted to go with Papa.’ She spoke softly
“doesn’t she love me?’ she spoke softly a lone fat tear trickling down her chubby cheek
“She loves you more than you could ever know, but she has loved your papa since we were young, its hard for her not to be able to talk to him anymore.’ He spoke gently
“She won’t leave me to go to papa will she” she asked still unsure
“No darling, she won’t” he tried to reassure her “You will never be alone Mary, Uncle Buck will always be here for you.” He stated the conviction strong in his voice.
“I love you Uncle Buck” she placed a wet sloppy baby kiss on his cheek and climbed off his lap to toddle as fast as her four year old legs could back away from the back of the barn, apparently reassured that her loved ones would not desert her. Buck sat there for a few moments in silence trying to gather his thoughts before he had to face the rest of his family again. He stood to go and tend to his chores wiping the evidence of his tears from his face, until he heard a deep masculine voice he knew very well.
“Never thought the three of us would be the only ones left” the voice spoke from the corner of the barn, startling Buck from his silent reverie.
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