DISCLAIMER: The Young Riders is the creation of Ed Spielman, and the property of Ogiens/Kane productions in association with MGM/UA television. This Story is created for entertainment purposes only, no infringement intended. Not to be copied without permission from the author.
Buck stood and walked away from the girl who was confusing him so much. He so badly wanted to stay with her, but although he wanted to protect her, there were so many wrong reasons for his wish to stay with her.
'Bernie, I can't stay with you' he spoke his voice calm, not betraying his inner turmoil.
'Buck, I don't feel safe unless I'm with you.' She spoke softly unaware of the trust and the longing in her voice, she didn't understand her feelings for the noble and caring man in front of her, but one thing was certain to her. The only time she felt truly safe and cared for was when she was cradled in his strong arms.
'Bernie, it's not right, I'll send Lou in to stay with you.' He turned and knelt at her feet again, his eyes full of concern and something else, something that Bernie couldn't yet understand.
'I don't want Lou,' she paused, her teary eyes the colour of Kentucky grass, completely unaware of' the innocent desire in her voice as she spoke 'I want you Buck” she stated stubbornly.
'Bernie, it's not right, people will talk and as much as I want to stay with you,' he looked into her eyes knowing that he would have to explain his feelings to her so she would understand. 'Bernie I feel things with you that I shouldn't be feeling, things that aren't right, you're only fifteen, I don't want to feel this way but I can't help it. 'So you've got to help me, please don't ask me to stay with you tonight' his obsidian eyes peered deeply into hers as he watched her think about his heartfelt words.
'Actually I'm sixteen today, Buck, many girls my age are already married and have babies, I know I might be young, and I don't understand the feelings that I'm having. God, I wish my mama was here to explain things to me,' she paused as Buck collected the tears trickling down her pale cheeks with his thumb 'but she isn't, but I do know one thing' she looked up at him again her gentle smile quivering as she reached up to cover his hand on her cheek with her own hand. 'She would have loved you.' She stated softly 'I never understood why Mama did everything Papa asked of her, I do now, I can't imagine not having you with me'
'Bernie, you haven't known me long enough to know any of this' he spoke as hope flared in his heart that his fondest thoughts could come true.
'How long do I have to know you for?' she smiled tearily 'I knew when you found us that you were special. I didn't know how special though, I think I'm falling in love with you' she stopped watching his face closely
Buck gazed at her for several minutes, his mind confused by the words that she spoke, he knew that he was doing the wrong thing but he couldn't help himself. Words that he had never thought he would hear from a woman, especially a beautiful young angel like Bernie, enticing him to slip into her arms, pressing his lips against hers he kissed her deeply, her lips parting against his.
Bernie blushed, her cheeks flaring into a delicate pink as she lifted her hands to stroke his soft ebony hair her fingers tracing the contours of his skull. She had never experienced anything like this before, and she was sure that she was lucky that Buck was the man she had chosen for her first kiss. Buck, breathing heavily drew away from her slowly and pulling her tighter into his arms he rested his chin against her forehead as he caught his breath and tried to drag himself back into reality.
'Happy Birthday Bernie' he spoke softly when he knew that he could trust his voice again.
Bernie didn't understand the small quiver she heard in his gentle words but she was happily ensconced in his strong yet gentle arms, her heart beating furiously and was quickly becoming oblivious to the world around her. Buck rose and carried her up to the bedroom she slept in, depositing her just inside the door he placed a gentle kiss on her lips, lips that still tingled from his last kiss.
'I'll send Lou over for a while Bernie, but I'll be back later' he spoke softly as he pulled out of her embrace and closed the door softly behind him. She stood just inside the door, not moving save for her fingers gently tracing her kiss swollen lips, wondering if she had imagined this whole thing and she would wake up from a dream.
Buck walked down the stairs, not sure if he should trust his own emotions, he felt more with Bernie then he had ever imagined he would feel with any woman, but she didn't need him, a half breed, confusing her life anymore than it already was. God if only he could talk to someone about the emotional maelstrom he could feel himself being sucked into. He was still shaking his head as he walked out the door only to nearly trip over Teaspoon sitting in a rocker at the door, waiting for Buck to emerge.
'I hope you know what you're doing son' Teaspoon spoke softly
'No' Buck spoke honestly wondering just how much the old stationmaster had witnessed
'She's only a young girl Buck, you could hurt her badly' he offered
'Don't you think I don't know that Teaspoon, but I can't seem to help myself' he lifted his gaze to search the face of the man he thought of as a father.
'She's going through a rough time Buck, her feelings towards you could be just because you saved her, all I'm saying is take it slowly, carefully, I'd hate to see you hurt her' he held up a hand to forestall him as Buck started to speak 'I'm not saying that you would hurt her, I'm just saying that she's a young girl, she hasn't yet blossomed into the flower that we all know she could be, she's still only a young bud testing the world around her before she opens her heart, try not to crush that bud before it is ready to open.' Teaspoon smiled at his own analogy.
'What about me Teaspoon?' Buck spoke 'I think I'm falling in love with her Teaspoon, and I don't know what to do about it?'
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