DISCLAIMER: The Young Riders is the creation of Ed Spielman, and the property of Ogiens/Kane productions in association with MGM/UA television. This Story is created for entertainment purposes only, no infringement intended. Not to be copied without permission from the author.
Buck watched Teaspoon for a few moments and realising that his revelation wasn't going to receive an immediate response, turned and walked towards the bunkhouse.' As he opened the bunkhouse door, four pairs of concerned eyes turned on him.
'Is Bernie okay?' Jasper spoke quietly from where he sat at the table playing cards with Lou and Ike.
Buck moved to sit on the bench beside Jasper and lifted him onto his lap. 'She's fine Jas, she's just a little scared at the moment.' He watched as Jasper almost visibly relaxed 'I want you to know that we will protect the both of you, nothing bad will happen to either of you while we are around.' He murmured, Jasper's trusting gaze turned to Ike who nodded in confirmation.
'Are you going to play cards with us Buck?' Jasper asked his fears now allayed he turned his attention back to his play.
'I can't at the moment Jas, Bernie wants Lou to go and talk to her for a little while and I have to go for a ride' he put Jasper back on the bench and waited while Lou rose and walked to the door following her out
"What's up Buck?" she spoke softly seeing the concern on his face
"Lou, I don't quite know how to ask this?' he murmured stopping to look at Lou, knowing that he was about to open his heart to her and hoping that she would not think badly of him, yet he was still confident that she would not make fun of him as the others would, in fact he knew that she was probably the only one he could talk to about this.
"Buck, what is it?' she put her hand on his arm truly concerned about him.
"I think I am in love with Bernie" he spoke looking at the ground at his feet waiting for Lou to laugh at him, not expecting the reaction he got "No, I am in love with her".
Lou knew that Buck had deep feelings for the young lady in their care but she was surprised by his revelation of just how deep his emotions seemed to be and pulled him into her embrace, smiling widely "That's great Buck" she spoke glad that he had found someone to love.
"No you don't understand, she deserves someone else, she doesn't deserve the pain that being in love with a half breed brings' he spoke flatly, trying to make Lou understand his problem, and it was an insurmountable problem as far as he could see.
"That's bull and you know it, you are a good man Buck one of the kindest and sweetest men I know and nobody deserves happiness and love better than you." She faced him with her hands on her hips
"Even if that were true, she's only a girl' he spoke "God, she turned 16 today, I'm too old for her" he turned away from Lou
"Rubbish, she's older than some of the wives in town" seeing that she wasn't getting through to him she spoke again "Have you told her?' she asked quietly
Buck nodded his head in reply, Lou knew that he was struggling to contain the emotions that were roiling inside of him.
"What did she say?' Lou asked quietly placing a gentle hand on his back as she tried to help him
Buck turned, his eyes tearfilled "She thinks she's falling in love with me' he answered his eyes reflecting the torture of his soul.
"That's good isn't it" Lou spoke softly, her own heart breaking at her friends pain, knowing that his noble soul would not allow anyone he loved to sacrifice their future for him.
"I love her too much to subject her to a life with me Lou.' He answered her softly, the conviction in his voice strong. "But I can't do it on my own" he smiled wryly at her "I'm not strong enough to push her away"
"What can I do to help?' Lou asked quietly not agreeing with his reasons for pushing Bernie away, but loyally wanting to help him whatever way she could.
"Can you talk to her for me? I tried to explain to her, but she wouldn't listen" he spoke softly, kicking the ground with his boot clad foot reluctant to look up at his tiny friend, knowing that she would see the depth of his pain in his eyes.
She slipped her arms around his waist and hugged him tightly offering him any support she could, Buck closed him arms around her and hugged her back, drawing strength from the embrace of the tiny woman in his arms. They remained that way for several minutes until Lou pulled from his embrace and looked up into his tear shiny eyes.
"I'll talk to her now.' She spoke softly as she moved back from him a little
"Tell her I'll be back later, I need to get away for a little while, can you stay with her until I get back." He stated "I promised her I would stay with her tonight" he said and watched as Lou's eyes widened in surprise "and I will, I just need some time to myself" he spoke almost absently to her as he started to walk away from his thoughts already drifting back to the young girl in the house.
Lou watched him walk towards the barn, surprised when he turned around and spoke to her again "Thanks Lou" he smiled at her as he spoke "You won't tell the others will you." He frowned as he recalled the ribbing, he included, had given the others whenever they had a crush on one of the girls in town, or even Kid and Lou when they first got together. He knew that he deserved to get as good as he gave, but he didn't think that his tortured soul could bear it at the moment.
Lou turned and walked into the house, thankful that the others hadn't been there to witness Buck's pain, she knew that if any of them had seen their exchange she would get no peace from any of them wanting to know what had happened. Knocking gently on Bernie's bedroom door she walked in only to find Bernie standing at the window, gazing down at something, one hand holding the thin lace curtain back the other tracing her lips with shaking fingers. Lou moved unnoticed across the room to stand behind Bernie, curious to see what had attracted her attention.
Not surprised to see Buck riding away from the stables, she cleared her throat hoping to attract Bernie's attention without frightening her.
"are you okay Bernie?' she asked softly, her gentle hand resting on the smaller girls shoulder.
"I'm sorry Lou.' She spoke quietly "Did you say something?' Bernie spoke turning to look at Lou as if noticing her there for the first time.
Lou took one look at Bernie and knew that she was a lost cause, her lips pink and kiss swollen, her eyes filled with hope and longing. Lou wondered how she had ever kept her own secret for so long if she looked even half as lovestruck as Bernie did now.
It seemed to Lou that Buck might have his work cut out for him if he truly wanted to push Bernie from him, and just who would be hurt the worst by all of his good intentions.
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