DISCLAIMER: The Young Riders is the creation of Ed Spielman, and the property of Ogiens/Kane productions in association with MGM/UA television. This Story is created for entertainment purposes only, no infringement intended. Not to be copied without permission from the author.
Rachel had watched as Buck kissed Bernie in a moment of such exquisite tenderness that it brought tears to her eyes. She knew that Buck was torn between his two cultures and until he could resolve his feeling for himself he would be unable to truly commit himself to any woman. She had seen the torture in his eyes as he had walked out of the room, hoping that Teaspoon or one of the other boys would be able to help him, before she turned her attention to the young woman in front of her.
“Bernie” she spoke as she perched on the side of the bed
“Did they hurt you?” she asked not quite knowing how to ask her if she had been raped, relieved when Bernie shook her head. “Let’s get you cleaned up” she spoke keeping up a mindless stream of chatter as she went about the business of bathing and cleaning Bernie up.
Bernie was in an almost trancelike state, letting Rachel wash and dress her in a clean white nightgown and braid her hair loosely. When she would have tucked her into bed, Bernie shook her head and limped across the room to sit in the rocker, gazing helplessly out the window. The horrors of the day still too fresh in her mind to close her eyes and possibly revive the images in her mind of the horrible men who had held her captive. The greatest concern that remained was Buck, she knew that in his own way Buck had been saying goodbye to her.
She sat there for what seemed like hours, not acknowledging anyone who came into the room, content to gaze out the window and gently rock in the chair. Many of her new friends had come to check on her, to try to offer her some sort of support, but nothing would draw her from the silent reverie she had sunken into. She was still there, now covered in a light blanket courtesy of Rachel, when some hours after dark, her destiny sought her out.
Buck had returned to the waystation about three hours after supper time, angry, confused and frustrated he had sat for a long time on the bunkhouse porch watching Bernie’s silhouette in the dim lamplight at her window. Finally, while his head and his common sense said no, he could not refuse his heart and soul again and walked across to the house, finally facing the inevitable and his destiny.
--oo0000oo—
Entering her darkened room, he saw he huddled in the rocker under the blanket and cursed his own stupidity for allowing her to be hurt so badly. He knew that the physical signs of the struggles today would fade, she would live forever with the fear of what had almost happened to her. He knelt at her feet, his gentle trembling fingers tracing her loose curls away from her face, tears in his own eyes at the loss of the spark he had so admired from the girl sitting before him. Knowing that she hardly even recognised his presence he lifted her from the chair and cradled her in his warm arms long enough for him to take her place on the chair and settle her on his lap. Content to stroke her chilled skin and sooth her frayed nerves with any sort of contact she was willing to accept.
--oo0000oo—
Bernie knew the moment that Buck had entered the room, but knowing that he was still unsure about their relationship, and so unsure of the feelings that coursed through her young body she stayed silent, hoping against hope that her heart would not be crushed tonight.
She didn’t know how long he sat there holding her against him, gently stroking her arms, cradling her against him crooning to her in his Kiowa tongue, but her head cradled against his chest, she realised the moment that his breathing changed in cadence and his heart beat wildly against her ear. Lifting her head she looked deeply into his beautiful passionate eyes and knew that her fate was sealed. No matter what their futures held, alone or together, they would always be a part of each other.
“I thought you had left me” she murmured, not willing to take her eyes from him.
“I tried” he spoke truthfully “I tried so hard to ride away from here and to leave you, before I break your heart, before the town turns against you. I stopped at the next way station and sent a letter to your grandfather, telling him that I will be sending both you and Jasper home on tommorow’s stage.” He stopped his thumbs catching the fat tears that caught on her lashes as she listened to the catch in his voice and the emotion in his face.
“But I couldn’t, I would have more luck trying to stop taking my next breath. You and I aren’t meant to be together, no matter what our futures hold. I won’t lie to you and tell you that I don’t want to marry you. Nothing would make me a happier man, but I will never marry you. You deserve a man of breeding, a man with the money to give you the things you deserve, a man who isn’t scorned just because of the colour of his skin.” He paused, knowing that he was hurting her, but also knowing that each of his words was like a dagger in his heart.
“Buck I don’t care about what people say.” She spoke softly, her eyes anguished knowing that he was hurting himself as well as her. “Please don’t do this to us”
“You are like a thirst in me that cannot be quenched, but I can’t promise you forever, I couldn’t bare to see the hatred in your eyes when the townsfolk eventually turn you against me.” He murmured
“What are you saying Buck?” she spoke softly “I could never hate you”
He shook his head in disbelief at her stubbornness, but knowing as he had seen before the love of people turned into scorn by the derision of the townsfolk.
“It would have been easier to cut off my arm then not come back to you, but all I can offer you is tonight. Tomorrow I will put you back on the stage to your grandfather.” He spoke firmly but his longing for her was clear in his voice.
Bernie looked into his face and made the decision that would change her life forever more, she lifted her hands and cradled his face in her hands, leaning forward to kiss him deeply, showing him just how desperately she loved and desired him.
Pulling back from their kiss, both of them breathing heavily, she sat trying to catch her breath, her chest rising and falling rapidly, her eyes cloudy with her newfound passion.
“If all you will give me is tonight, then I shall have to remember and cherish every moment, I will never love another man and this night will be etched into my memory for ever.’ She spoke softly showing wisdom and intuition far beyond her years.
Buck looked into her eyes and was lost, he knew now that he had been destined to love this girl from the moment he had found her, now he only hoped that they could make enough memories this night to console them both for the rest of their lives, because as surely as he stood and lifted her into his arms and carried her to lay her gently on to the bed, that he would never love another.
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