DISCLAIMER: The Young Riders is the creation of Ed Spielman, and the property of Ogiens/Kane productions in association with MGM/UA television. This Story is created for entertainment purposes only, no infringement intended. Not to be copied without permission from the author.
Bernie came awake lethargically, her eyes opening slowly, feeling Buck’s strong arm circling her waist she stretched sinuously, her body aching pleasantly in ways it never had before. She turned in her lover’s arms, content to lay there forever, watching him in his exhausted slumber. His face relaxed, his thick black lashes resting on his high cheekbones she traced her delicate fingers across his face, her fingertips tracing the lips that had brought her so many pleasurable memories, memories that she would savour until the end of time.
Just as she had known the night before it was her fate that had brought Buck to her last night, she knew that it was her destiny that would lead her through what she was about to do. Her eyes liquid she leaned up and kissed him gently on his lips, savouring their final moments together, pulling back as he stirred in his sleep. Careful not to wake him, as she slid from under his arm she turned and dressed and stood by the bed watching as he settled in his sleep before she turned and dressed quickly, before she could change her mind. Unable to resist, she returned to his bedside and placed a kiss full of her love for him on the palm of his upturned hand, unwilling to trust herself to go any closer.
“I’m sorry” she murmured as she ran from the room and down the stairs, her tears blinding her as she ran out of the house. Her plan now in motion, she crept into the bunkhouse and across to Lou’s bunk. She gently shook her friend, hoping to wake her quietly. Although startled by her presence when she opened her eyes, she quickly rose and followed Bernie back outside when she beckoned.
“What’s wrong?” she asked softly. Lou had watched Buck’s torment and had seen him enter the house last night, hoping when he didn’t return to his bunk they had sorted out their differences.
“Will you help me Lou?” she spoke quietly “I need to take Jasper and leave”
“Why” Lou questioned her “What about Buck?” Lou frowned
Bernie’s face softened and she blushed furiously “I love him desperately Lou. We have just shared a night filled with memories that I know, for me at least, will never fade, but he is going to send us back to grandfather. I am not strong enough to say goodbye to him, and I don’t want his last memories of me to be of sadness. Please help me Lou”
“What do you want me to do?” Lou spoke knowing that she would be helping one friend and breaking the others heart no matter what she did.
“I need to write him a note to try to explain, and a horse. All I ask is that you give him the note and help him to understand”
Lou nodded her head and walked inside, returning with a pad and a pen and handing them to Bernie. She left her to write her note in privacy, then ran across o the barn and emerged not long afterwards with a saddled horse. She sat on the steps loath to intrude until Bernie was finished writing her goodbyes to Buck.
Bernie kissed the envelope that she slipped her letter into and handed it to Lou. Walking into the bunkhouse she woke her baby brother and quickly helped him outside and onto the horse. She turned and hugged Lou, her closest friend in the world.
“I’m going to miss you” she embraced her tightly “Don’t let him hurt too much Lou” she choked on the words as she released her and climbed onto the horses back, spurring it away from the place she would have loved to call home.
--oo0000oo—
It didn’t take Buck long to realise that Bernie was missing from the bed, throughout the night as she had lain in his arms, he had gravitated to her warmth, loving the feel of her in his embrace, sleeping more deeply than he could ever remember. Rolling over, as his arms felt empty without her, he felt for her, his eyes opening as he realised that she was not thee.
He rose, flicking his hair from his face, he pulled on his trousers, and walked out of the room and down the stairs, hoping that Bernie had not had second thoughts about last night, wondering if he would find her on the porch so they could watch the sunrise together, starting their new life on a new day. Startled, he found Lou sitting on the porch swing, and just looking into her expressive velvet eyes did he realise something was wrong.
“Where is she Lou?” he asked quietly, somehow already knowing the answer
“She’s gone Buck” Lou stated flatly, seeing the dawning recognition in his eyes, extending the hand that held the note to Buck “She left this for you” Lou stood and pressed it into his hand wanting to give him a little privacy with his emotions, emotions that she could see were rapidly unravelling.
Buck wordlessly took the envelope from her hand and sank onto the top porch step. Slipping the single page note from the envelope it read it slowly, each word a dagger in his heart
“My Dearest Buck, Please forgive me for leaving you this way, but I don’t have the courage to say goodbye to your face. Thank you for the memories that you have given me to cherish, you will always be in my heart and joined to my soul.
Even in my darkest moments you will bring joy and love to me, you told me so many ways of your love, your gentle kiss, your tender touch. Please remember, I will always love you and only you, Bernie.”
Buck carefully and methodically folded the letter and placed it back in the envelope, standing he walked to the barn and into an empty stall at the rear of the building, before he let go of the thread of sanity holding his emotions together, allowing them to shatter and he dissolved into uncontrollable gasping sobs, knowing that he had lost the other half of his soul.
Lou had been reluctant to leave him but had realised that he had needed his privacy and had watched him from the bunkhouse porch. She had watched the tight control he held over his emotions unwinding as he moved towards the barn. Following him at a distance, her own eyes filled with tears as she listened to his heartbroken sobs. Unsure if she should disturb him, she slowly entered the stall until she could see him. The utter desolation that enshrouded him was her undoing, she moved to his side and stroked his silky black hair for a short time, before embracing him tightly, murmuring gentle reassurances to him.
“I love her so much Lou” he murmured as he calmed a little “she has taken my heart with her”
“I know Buck” Lou answered “but you were sending her away anyway, she was trying to save you pain”
“I told her that, but I couldn’t, not after last night, I don’t have the strength to tear us both apart. I was going to ask her to marry me, and be my wife” he spoke tightly, his dreams of a life with Bernie dissolving before his eyes.
“Oh Buck, I am so sorry” Lou’s gentle heart cried for her friend and his pain.
“Please don’t tell the boys” he spoke looking into her eyes, needing to know that she would keep his torment her secret “I don’t think I could take their teasing” at her nod he continued “I’m going to go for a ride, I’ll be back in a few days, can you tell Teaspoon for me”
“You’re not going to do anything silly are you” she asked frightened for what he may do to himself.
“I’m going to go and spend some time with Red Bear, I need to get away, just for a little while, everything here remind me of her” he pushed Lou’s hair from her face and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek.
“He’ll probably be fit to be tied, and you’ll get his lecture about responsibility when you get back but I’ll tell him. Just take care of yourself” she hugged him tightly.
“Thanks Lou” he spoke as he rose and scrubbed the signs of his sorrow from his cheeks. He moved to lead his horse from its stall and swung onto it’s bareback, casting a watery smile at Lou over his shoulder he spurred his horse out of the barn.
Lou sat there for a short time, knowing that in time Buck would once again become his old self but she still, wondered if time would heal his raw emotions, or if he was destined to mourn for his spurned love for ever as she crossed to the bunkhouse to wake the others and tell them of Buck’s departure.
Back to the last chapter
Back to Ridingtall
Back to Tall Tales
On to the next chapter
