- Name: Steff the Impaler
- Parts Played: Purple Transylvanian, Magenta, Dr. Frank
- Nicknames: See above
- Birthday: Never happened
- Sign: Exit Only
- Hometown: Here
- Favorite Color: Tie-Dye
- Dream Car: 1969 Hurst/Olds Convertable, 1969 Chevelle SS 396, 1969 Pontiac Firebird, 1963 Split Rear Window Corvette, 1970 Hemi-'Cuda, 1969 Pontiac GTO....shall I go on??
- Favorite A-Team Character: They all suck!
- (Belly button) Innie / Outie / Other: Find out for yourself
- Favorite Deodorant: Soap...try it sometime...it works wonders!
- Favorite Place to Eat Lunch: Pretty much anywhere my friends are going...I'm easy
- Theme Song: Another One Bites the Dust
- Quote to Live By: Never miss a good chance to shut up
- Goals and Aspirations: To be rich and famous....duh!
- How You Got Into the Cabaret: Kristin made me do it!
- Mentor: Me
- Favorite Hair-do: Mine
- Fondest Cabaret Moment: Naked on the Bridge!
- What do you do Outside of Rocky: Spend time with people I love.
- Sanity Rating: Insane 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Completely sane 3
- Names of Voices in your head: Elvis and Liberache
