A Perfect Question

 Lisa Martin

 

            I couldn’t believe it! He wasn’t serious, was he? Glancing at that innocent face beside me, I could only come to one conclusion: he was. Now I know that he’s not familiar with certain American expressions, but this was the limit.

            "You really don’t know?" I asked incredulously

            "No, I really don’t. That’s why I ask you what it means." Stubborn too, eh? A sudden wicked thought flashed through my brain. I wouldn’t tell him what it was, I would show him.

            "Okay, I’ll tell you, but not now. It takes some time to explain, and right now we have a case to solve. Welsh will have my hide if I don’t wrap this up quickly."

            "Have your hide?" It was too much; I didn’t think I could take anymore of this. Some people, especially women, find this innocence cute for some reason. I found it utterly annoying. Sometimes. Like now.

           

            It took a bit longer than I had expected to carry out the plan that had been forming in my brain. Benny decided to get us into some weird situation again. Almost got me killed. Oh, he would say that it wasn’t so, that I was perfectly safe, but I don’t believe him. Or maybe I do, but I seem to have some perverse pleasure in contradicting him. On everything. Someday he will see through this little game, I’m sure. Nah, he won’t.

            Anyway, the case was closed, bad guys in jail, paperwork done and I had a day off. Perfect. Time to set the wheels in motion.

            I called Benny at the Consulate, asking him if he wanted to have dinner with me. He seemed surprised, thought I had no idea why. Why does he have to be the one that comes up with all the stupid ideas? I’m entitled to at least one a week and I hadn’t used mine this week. But he accepted my offer, and I told him I would pick him up at seven.

           

            I must admit, I was feeling a bit nervous. Changed my clothes at least six times before I was satisfied with the result. I reprimanded myself, why on earth should I be nervous? Because you don’t know what you’re letting yourself into, a nagging little voice in the back of my mind kept saying. Nonsens, of course I know what I’m doing. Do I?

            I received a wolfwhistle (A wolfwhistle? Man, he must be affecting me!) from Frannie when I got downstairs. It pushed up my ego a few notches, I can tell you that. Her comment brought me back to earth again. With a bang.

            "Wow! Must be a hot date," she said, then after a short pause, "A red hot date, I should say."

            I went red, and made a run for it, her loud laugh following me until I was safely into my car. I took a few deep breaths, trying to get my heartrate back to normal again. Dammit, she always managed to do that! My little sister is one of the few persons that can make me blush. And never stops trying to achieve it. A red hot date, indeed! Red, maybe, but hot? Nah!!

            Still, when I entered that rattrap he calls an apartment, I was more than a little relieved when I saw he wasn’t wearing his uniform. It suits him, no doubt about that, but tonight it would’ve been a little too much for my already overworked nervoussytem. Yet, the tight fitting jeans and the matching shirt made my heart run a marathon. What the hell was happening to me??

            Of course, he was completely oblivious to my discomfort, going on about that stupid case.

            "Fraser!"

            "Yes, Ray?" I swear, one day I will take that docile ‘Yes Ray?’ and slap it back in his face.

            "Stop talking about that case. I’ve had enough of it, capice?"

            "Yes, Ray." Control yourself, Detective. Take a deep breath and count to ten. One, two, three, four, five...

            "What’s the occasion?"

            "The occasion for what?" Another thing that makes me hit the ceiling, the way he changes the subject of a conversation. Suddenly, abruptly, without warning.

            "You taking me out to dinner."

            "Ah that! Well, you asked me a question the other day and I promised you I would answer it for you. Tonight you’ll get your answer." Good, I was back on safe grounds again.

            "Oh."

            I ignored that, believe me, it took all the self-control I had to do that. When he says that, he always raises his eyebrows that makes him look even more like an innocent little boy than he usually does. Now where did that come from? I must be loosing my mind.

 

           

 

            We drove to the restaurant, talking about everything and nothing, just small talk. I felt myself relax and by the time I pulled up in front of the restaurant I was almost back to normal. Whatever that means.

            Our conversation continued during dinner, but I couldn’t help noticing some inquiring looks from across the table. He was expecting his answer. But, no matter how I tried, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I was planning to show him, maybe get some fun from it. Seeing Benny stumble and stammer on such occasions is always good for a laugh. I considered it a sort of payback for all those times he makes me look like a stumbling fool. And tonight was supposed to be the ultimate payback. Yet, here I was, glued to my chair and unable to do nothing else than babbling. I didn’t even know what I was talking about most of the time. All I know is that was staring. At him. Probably for the first time since I met him, I was studying every move he made. Taking in every contour of his face. Trying to understand what makes every woman in this city (and every other city) grow weak when he walks by. He didn’t notice my scrutiny, or maybe he pretended not to.

            The waitress that dropped more than a subtle hint every time she passed our table was ignored,by the both of us, I might add. Her remarks and giggles were merely annoying. And for once, Benny didn’t flinch or got all embarrassed by it. He shot her a look from time to time, which I only can describe as angry. A completely new experience for me, one that got me reeling, I can tell you that. What he was doing was considered extremely rude in his book.

            "So, you’re not perfect, after all," I said as casual I could manage. I would have my payback, one way or another.

            "I never said I was, Ray." Damn! Without flinching, even without blushing. You’re loosing your touch, Vecchio.

            "Everyone else thinks you are." Desperate attempt number two.

            "Then everyone else is wrong." He stared at me, eyebrows raised, eyes filled with wonder. He didn’t have a clue what I was talking about. "Why do you say that?" Yes! Round for me, but the fight wasn’t over yet.            "The way you look at that waitress." I must’ve had a very smug expression on my face, because his eyebrows rose even further.

            "She’s annoying me," he said after a short pause.

            "Is that possible??"

            "Yes Ray, it is possible. However, it doesn’t happen often." I waited for him to elaborate, but he didn’t. I had the urge to throw my plate in his face, to provoke a reaction. Any reaction. Frannie always says he looks like one of those Greek statues, well, at this moment he was behaving like one. Cool, carved out of stone. `     "Is there something wrong?" he asked.

            "No, not at all." Only that I’m going start raving mad, but that’s common these days.

            "You look like something is bothering you."

            I wanted to shout at him that there was something bothering me, that he was driving me crazy! Only I didn’t, because I didn’t know what it was. Not his cool, in control behaviour. That was nothing new. Yet, tonight it irritated me more than ever. But why?

            "Nothing is bothering me," I snapped. He backed off immediately and didn’t mention it anymore.

 

            I was glad when we had finished our meal, and could get out of that place. I needed some fresh air, to calm my racing nerves. No such hope. I was just getting a bit of control back when we arrived at his apartment.         "Dinner was nice, Ray," he said, turning towards me.

            "Even with that waitress?" I grinned. Maybe, just maybe I could have some fun.

            "Even with her," he smiled. So far for trying to calm down. My heart tipped into overdrive, and my nerves seemed to live a life of their own. Control? What’s that?

            "I’m off, now," I said. I needed to get away from here, or I’ll never be normal again.

            "Oh." Did my ears deceive me, or did that sound......disappointed? Or was this a figment of my imagination? My very overheated imagination.

            "I...eh..I wanted to ask you if you would care to come in?" Djeez! Even when he’s stammering, he does it politely!

            "Allright." Was that me who answered? Or some alien that had taken control of my mind? It was me, I concluded, as I walked up the stairs behind him. I didn’t even say something about him having no lock on his door, as I usually do. I paced up and down the room as he put away his jacket.

            "You’re still wearing your coat, Ray." The sound of his voice nearly gave me a heartattack, but I managed to conceal my shock. I hoped. I shrugged out my coat, and put it next to his in the closet. Turning around, my breath caught in my throat. He was standing in front of the window, back towards me. The pale incoming moonlight outlined his body sharply. Broad shoulders, narrow waist and hips, a butt to make your mouth water. Which was exactly what it was doing. A heat began to slowly build inside me, beginning in my chest and working it’s way down to my groin. At the point where I thought I couldn’t take it any more, he turned around.

            "Like what you see?" he asked softly.

            "Yeah..." I breathed. "Hey, waitasecond! That’s a....."

            A devastating grin now. "Yes, I know."

            "You knew???" The little shit had known all along!

            "Not when I asked you first. Now I do." His voice had dropped to a whisper, and he was moving towards me. Slowly, but very determined. I was rooted to the spot, couldn’t move an inch to save my life, not even when his hands cupped my face. He looked into my eyes for a second, and what I saw in his, made me hot and cold at the same time. A second later he brushed his lips against mine. It wasn’t a kiss, it was more like a promise. Another intense look, and when he realised I wasn’t going to bolt, he took my hand and led me to the bedroom. I followed on automatic pilot, not quite sure where this was all leading to. I glanced at the bed, then at him. He was standing there, waiting. Looking at me with a heat in those blue eyes I never thought I’d see. Not directed to me, at least.

            "Well?"

            "Well what?" Great Vecchio, what a come back!

            A sigh escaped him and he stepped closer. "Well, this." His mouth claimed mine in earnest now, in a deep, not to be mistaken, kiss. I was breathing heavily when he finally let go of me. In my startled brain one thing was becoming clear, I wanted him. I wanted all of him, here-and-now.          

            My hands were already working on the buttons of his shirt before I realised that I was doing it. He smiled, a very satisfied smile. I let him get away with that, but only this time. I couldn’t believe how bad I was shaking, and not only because I was nervous. I was nervous, no way of getting around that. It had been a long time for me, being with a man, I mean. Oh yeah, this wasn’t the first time, I’ve known for a long time that I was bi, but managed to surpress it. Until now. This temptation was impossible to resist.

            The shirt slipped of his shoulders and revealed his bare chest. Smooth as silk I discovered, as I ran my fingers over it. So beautiful.

            "Beautiful," I whispered.

            Another smile, then hands tugging at my jacket. It landed on the floor, next to his shirt. When he started on my shirt, a wave of self-consciousness swept over me. I know I’m not what you call goodlooking, and yes, those baggy clothes are a way of hiding. He must’ve sensed my insecurity, and kissed me again. Long and tender.

            "Beautiful, too," he said softly, when we parted. It was so sincere, that I didn’t even think about giving a flippant comeback. The last shred of rational thought fled out of the window when he pushed me to the bed. The rest of our clothes were shed quickly, we were both too hot to think about the consequences. That would come later, not now. Now all I wanted was to get him into that bed and love him till the end of times. He seemed to have the same idea, and simply lifted me and threw me on the bed, landing on top of me a second later. He is a little heavier than me, but I didn’t let that bother me.

            Mouths met in an almost bruising kiss, a moan escaping from my throat as his tongue invaded my mouth. God, once unleashed, this man is a wild animal! We rocked together, our hard cocks rubbing against each other, sending me flying up to the stars and higher. Everything around us vanished; we were the only two people in the universe. I wanted to get closer, crawl into him, melt us into one being. And in the midst of that storm of passion one thing became crystal clear to me, this wasn’t just lust or desire, I loved him. This annoying, infuriating, wonderful man was the one who had found the way into my heart. Bypassed all the walls I build around it, and found himself a place there.

            It didn’t take long, too much pent up emotions from both sides. His body stiffened, a tremble running through it, a wetness on my stomach. I came with a wordless cry, flying just that little bit higher, then plunged down and was caught in a pair of arms. So safe, so unbelievably safe, like nothing I had ever experienced before.

            How it happened, I don’t know, but when my senses decided to join the world again, he was lying in my arms, his head on my chest. I lifted my arm, with considerable effort I might add, and stroked that dark hair. His eyes flew up to me, a look of deep contentment in them. He liked it too, eh?

            "Hi," he said shyly.

            "Hi to you too," I replied. "Man, when you cut loose, you really cut loose, don’t you?"

            A faint blush colored his cheeks, so cute. "Only for you," he said in a whisper. Those words send a shockwave through my entire system. Did that mean he...? I couldn’t finish the thought; he raised himself up on one arm and looked at me more closely.

            "I love you," he said, his voice steady, answering my silent question. What could I say to that? Just one thing.

            "Love you, too." I received a warm, gentle kiss for that. Still, my self doubt wasn’t entirely gone. How could someone so perfect love me? I voiced the question to him. Why postpone the inevitable, right?

            "I’m not perfect, as I already told you, and neither are you. But you’re no loser; no matter how many times people have told you that you are. Sure, you have your mistakes, your flaws, but you’re perfect to me. Like a piece of my soul that I didn’t realise I was missing until I met you."

            An honest answer. No sweet-talking, no poetic words, (and thank God, no Inuit story!), but a straight honest answer. I moved me more than all other things could’ve done. He considered me an equal, not better or worse. A new thing for me in a relationship. Hey, wait! My thoughts shrieked to a stop. Was I really thinking about a relationship with him? One look at him, into that open, handsome face and I had my answer. Yes, a wholehearted ‘yes’. I threw my arms around his neck and pressed my face against his chest. Things were just getting a little too much for me. He held me gently, didn’t ask any questions, just let me calm down. A sweet kiss sealed it. For the first time in my life I really belonged to someone.

            We lay together for the longest time, just basking in each other’s presence. Then he lifted his head and looked at me, a twinkle in his eyes. I braced myself, not knowing what to expect.

            "Hey Ray?"

            "Yeah?"

            "You haven’t answered my question yet."

            "Which one?"

            "What’s a ‘come on’?"

 

The End

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