Lady in Red
Lisa Martin
Sam
Bright lights blinded me the moment I leaped in. It left me temporarily sightless, seeing nothing but exploding stars before my eyes. My legs felt shaky and I had trouble remaining on my feet. The sudden touch of a hand on my arm startled me, making me jump. I was caught before I fell, hanging in a pair of arms.
"Are you okay?" It was a man's voice.
I managed to nod, turning my head towards the voice. My sight was clearing a little, and I could make out the face of a man beside me, staring at me with a friendly smile.
"I'm allright," I said, managing a slight smile of my own. The man grinned, still holding me in an iron grip.
"You shouldn't wear those shoes if you can't walk in them."
Alarm bells went of in my mind. Glancing down I realised the devestating truth: spike heels, red!! A woman, again!! I sighed heavily, silently cursing the one who was leaping me around. He, or she as Al likes to believe, sure had a weird sense of humour.
It isn't that, it's just a little warm in here," I told the man, almost as if I was trying to convince myself.
The man nodded. "You can say that again, little lady." His face came very close to mine, I could smell the alcohol on his breath. I pushed him away, and ran off. Behind me I heard laughter and teasing voices, directed to the man. It wasn't his lucky night, I thought wryly.
'Ladiesroom' was my first thought. I desperately needed some time to gather my senses. While I was looking for it, trying to stay on my feet the whole time, I smiled inwardly. Al would love this, me a woman in what I reckoned was..Las Vegas.
Finally, after what seemed hours, I stumbled into the ladiesroom. The first thing I did was kick off those damn shoes. The large mirror above the sink showed a tiny woman,
with a soft and open face. Blond hair flowed over her shoulders,light brown eyes stared back at me. Then I saw it, the white streak in the hair, the hint of green in her eyes, the more than avarage size nose....
"Oh boy!"
This was definitly the strangest leap I had ever had. I know, I've said that before, many times, but facing a female version of yourself is ...quite interesting. After the initial
shock, I studied the image more closely. It was me, no doubt about it, with the exception of the gender of course. I even began to see the humor of this whole situation, grinning at the image. Al would have the shock of the century if he saw me.
Rummaging around in the large bag I was carrying, I found some clothes and, thank God, other shoes. Also red, but with flat heels. I threw those heels from hell in the bag, slipping on the others ones. Searching more thoroughly I found an I.D. card. It informed me my name was Stephanie Baker, 23 years old, living in Santa Fe, New Mexico. With a shock I recognized the card: it was a securitycard from..Project Quantum Leap! Oh great, I'd leaped in into one of my own staff! I didn't recall ever meeting her, but that didn't surprise me. No doubt Al could give me more information about her, and I had a feeling he wouldn't have to ask Ziggy. Which left me with one question: why was I here? The 'when' was not so much of a problem, those I.D. cards had to be renewed every six months and since the expiry date was Januari 2000, it had to be somewhere between June 1999 and Januari 2000, as far forward in time as I've ever leaped. Excitement got the better of me, and for a moment I thought of hopping on the first plane out of here and get to the Project as fast as I could. My mind produced the disclamer a second later. I wouldn't get anywhere near Main Control. Only people with A I clearance were allowed in there. Stephanie didn't have that, and since everyone would see me as Stephanie....
"Damn!" I muttered under my breath. So close and still so far away. Maybe I could call Al? I rejected that thought the moment it entered my mind, for no apparant reason. It just felt wrong. I decided to wait for him to appear, then we could discuss this. Another thing was nagging on my brain, but I really wanted to ignore that. This was a leap, so maybe I was here for a completely different reason then to get myself back home.
Deciding to enjoy myself a bit, until my hologram showed up, I wandered around, I marvelled in the memories that were surfacing. Al and I had spent more than one weekend here. Having great fun, which in my case meant trying to beat the odds at the Blackjack table ( I won, usually), in his case, chasing every woman that passed his way. A smile crossed my face as I thought of that, recalling the time he made a pass at that cute little croupier. Too bad for him, but that time I got lucky. He never stopped nagging me about that, he never was a good loser. With women, that is.
After a few hours, I seriously began to wonder if he'd ever show up. I found myself a place in one of the bars to get a drink. Sitting at the bar, I glanced around, trying to find him. I wouldn't put it past him to have some fun first. But he was nowhere in sight. I ordered a new drink, when my eye caught a figure sitting on the other end of the bar. Bright blue jacket, red pants. The brightness of his clothes belied his composure. He sat huddled on the stool, nursing a drink. Taking my drink, I walked over to him and set myself next to him.
"Hi," I said as casually as possible, although my heart was trying to break the speedlimit.
He turned his head towards me, the sadness in his eyes hit me with the force of a truck.
He managed a faint smile.
"Hi sweetie." I gasped at his answer, I never thought I would hear Al call me 'sweetie'. I was about to give a flippant reply, when something occured to me. It was a sudden flash of insight, making me gulp another breath. He saw the aura, not me.
"You okay?" I nodded, managing a weak smile.
"Yeah, it's a little warm in here, that's all."
"Suppose it is." His head turned away again, and he got back to staring at his drink. The sight shocked me, memories rushing back to me. How many times had I found him like that, trying to drown his misery in a bottle? Too many times. But I thought that was behind him now. Something really bad must've happened to make him drink again. In a reflex I reached out, knocking my drink over in the proces. The contence splashed all over his jacket.
"Oh damn! I'm sorry!" He had jumped off the stool, and was wiping off his clothes.
"It's okay, just an accident," he muttered. My concern grew with that remark. It didn't sound like him. The Al I knew would be furious about someone spilling a drink over his clothes, pretty woman or not.
"I'm so clumsy," I stammered, reaching out again. My hand connected with his shoulder and I thought my heart would stop. It encountered flesh and bone, not thin air. This was certainly not my hologram. I grimaced at that thought, leave it to Sam to state the obvious, Al would say. I became aware of eyes staring at me. Hesitantly I looked up, meeting those familiar eyes. His gaze was intense, studying me. A cold hand closed around my heart, and I realised at that moment I didn't want him to know it was me. A small smile appeared on his face and he placed his hand on my arm.
"It's nothing." Sitting down again, he continued: "Let me get you another drink."
I protested faintly, to sound convincing, only I didn't know whom I was trying to convince. There was a sparkle in eyes now, a sparkle I recognized all too well. He had seen something, or rather someone, he wanted, and he was determined to get it. Yet, something was off, like he was acting pure on instinct.
"I'm Stephanie," I introduced myself, sliding next to him again.
Al
Vegas, usually a place I'd love to go to, but not this time. Beeks orders. She said I needed a vacation. And once she has made up her mind, there's no chance in hell you can change it. She and Sam are two of a kind. Sam...
He had leaped out two days ago, after a relatively easy leap. Playing matchmaker again. It was smooth sailing, but coming out of the Imaging Chamber, a huge surprise awaited me. Ever since Sam had managed to reunite Donna with her father in one of his earlier leaps, she was at the Project. She was always the first to ask about the leaps, waiting outside the Imaging Chamber. This time, she wasn't there. I didn't think much of it, at first. Two leaps ago, Sam and me switched places, making me the leaper and Sam the Observer. I didn't mind, it was kinda fun, and Sam could use a vacation. Things got a little out of hand, and Sam had leaped again to save me. Donna's attitude had been hostile since then. I could understand that, tried to explain, that if it had been up to me... She didn't listen.
When I asked where she was, the only thing I got were confused faces. I asked Ziggy for an explanation, but she failed to come up with an acceptable answer. One thing was clear though: in this timeline Donna had never been a part of this Project. How Sam had managed that, was beyond me, and frankly, I didn't want to know.
It was one of the reasons I went to Vegas, to get my confused mind back on track again. So far, it hadn't worked, it only made me feel more miserable. Last time I was here was to celebrate Tina's birthday. Ah Tina, she was gone too, not as a result of Sam's meddling, but because she moved in with Gooshie. I had been suspecting there was something going on between the two of them, but it still hit me hard when she left me.
I spent the evening in the bar, just sitting and drinking. Sam would have a fit over that if he'd known, but I needed a drink now. Unlike before, I knew when to quit.
And then she showed up, that pretty girl, spilling her drink over me. I hadn't intended to chase any woman, but she was special. I only had to look in her eyes, and I was lost, a total goner. She was young, far too young for me, but with a wisdom in those eyes, that belied her age. Above that, she seemed interested in me, which was quite a boost to my ego. All in all, I decided to go for it.
When I introduced myself, she nodded. "I know, Admiral, we work for the same boss."
That surprised me. I had never seen her before, and I usually spot the pretty ladies before anyone else does. She had to be new. I shoved the thought away, storing it in the file of unexplained things in my mind. That file had become pretty big over the last few years.
Sam
Al's asthonisment when I told him I knew who he was, made me smile. I didn't mean to say it, it slipped out before I could stop it. His surprise vanished quickly and he began a seemingly casual conversation. It looked that way to an outsider, but I had witnessned more than one of these conversations and knew exactly where it was heading. It was a new experience for me to be the target of this slow, irresistible seduction. I couldn't help falling into the trap, no matter how I fought it. To be honest, I didn't fight very hard. For the first time in years, I had the chance to be in the same room with my best friend, or in the same time.
I studied him closely, and found I didn't like what I saw. Deep lines in his face, his eyes sad and weary. Guilt shot through me, knowing the cause.
By now, he had his arm around my waist. Stage two of the carefully prepared plan. Deciding to add a little of my own, I smiled up at him. That was an unusual experience, normally I had to bend down to meet his eyes, topping him by half a foot. I slid a little closer, surprised by my own boldness. His eyebrows raised, the familiarity of the gesture making my eyes burn with tears. Until that moment I hadn't realised how much I'd missed him. Now it hit me, with lightning force.
"Hey, what's up?" he asked softly.
I hung my head, mind racing to come up with an answer. "Just lonely," I finally said, which was as close to the truth as I could manage. I was lonely, and having him near me didn't help, it only made it worse. A gentle hand lifted my head.
"Wanna talk about it?" The question was sincere,without ulterior motives.
"I used to go to Vegas with my friend, the best friend I ever had. This is the first time I've been here by myself. I miss him," I added, barely able to speak around the lump in my throat.
"He left you?" he asked, with a slight tremble in his voice.
"I left him."
Silence ate up several moments, then he cleared his troath.
"I know the feeling." He slid off the stool, holding out his hand. "Come on, let's go to a more private place." His smile was shy and awkward. "To talk."
Al
She was a bit startled when I suggested leaving the bar and going to my hotelroom. Seducing her was the farthest thing from my mind; I didn't want to add her to my list of conquests, she was too good for that. I was attracted to her, sure, but not in a sexual way. Her eyes held so much loneliness, such a deeprunning sadness. I felt a connection, a kinship, even though I had just met her. I wanted to talk, to share things I knew so well, maybe even getting a little comfort from each other, nothing more.
When I closed the door behind me, she was shifting from one foot to another, clearly feeling very uncomfortable. I was lost, for the first time in my life not knowing what to do in a situation like this.
"Just talk?" If I didn't know any better, I could swear there was a trace of dissapointment in her voice. You're imagining things, I reminded myself. I sat down on the couch, smiling an invitation at her. Hesitantly, she sat down beside me.
"This is a first time for me, too," I began. "I always came here with friends, but now...it seems there's no one left." Her hand reached out, catching mine.
"Wanna talk about it?" She echoed my words from earlier on.
"My girlfriend has left me."
Her head dipped, and even in the dim light, I could see her struggling to hold back the
tears. "Oh God!" she gasped softly, so much compassion in those words.
"It's not the first time, and probably not the last," I said, not able to hide the bitterness. She took my other hand and squeezed it.
"That's not all, is it?" She was looking at me now, tears slowly making their way over her face. Her eyes were looking right through me, beautiful brown eyes, with a hint of green, just like.... Suddenly my mind started screaming, my heart surrendered to the truth, at last.
"No," I whispered. "I've lost someone I loved more then anyone."
Sam
All motion stilled around us, when he said those words. I clasped his hands between mine, and felt him shake. My heart went out to him, my arms were aching to hold him. Throwing all caution in the wind, I did just that. He didn't resist, clung to me desperately. I ran my hands over his back, feeling the tension there. He was a mess, physically and emotionally. The guilt I felt became stronger, until it almost overwhelmed me. I pulled myself together, swallowing hard to keep my emotions under control. What he needed was comfort, someone he could lean on, not a blubbering fool. I ran my fingers through his hair, smiling to myself. It was the moment I realised I was holding my love in my arms, the one person that made me complete. The stabbing guilt inside me eased, peace descending on my soul.
"Tell me about your friend," I asked gently.
He shifted a little, but made no attempt to move away. Not that I would've let him.
"We've been friends for a long time, very close friends. Sam took care of me, when I was not doing too well." He let out a sigh. "I hit rockbottem, drinking far too much. Sam saw something in me, that made him reach out to me. He's the only one who ever saw me for what I am."
I bit my lip, in order not to cry, and failed completely. It were tears of happiness I shed, knowing I was loved. His words touched something deep inside of me, filling an emptiness, that I thought would be there forever. He loves me, my mind repeated over and over, almost like a chant.
"And now it's become more then friendship for you?" I had to ask, had to know for sure.
"Yes." It came out with a deep sigh. "But I can never tell Sam."
"Why not?"
"Sam wouldn't understand. He would run off, after he'd decked me. Not that he can," he added, trying to make it sound like a joke.
I tightened my arms around him. He was scared of losing me, that much I could understand. I probably would've done just that, had he told me before I started leaping. What he was wrong about, was thinking that it would destroy our friendship. Even in those days, I knew nothing could break that bond.
"You won't know, until you've tried," I told him. A snort was my answer. "Don't give up that easily. If your friendship is that special, it can endure a thing like that. And maybe you worry about nothing, maybe he loves you too."
His head jerked up, utter confusion shining in his eyes. "Maybe he loves me too?"
It threw me off balance for a second, and then I realised he probably hadn't noticed that he had used the words 'he' and 'him' himself. I smiled in understanding. "You told me that he was the only one who ever saw you for what you are," I explained. "Don't get upset about it. Love has no gender, as far as I'm concerned." I spoke from my heart, it was something I had always believed in, but I never envisioned myself in this kind of a scenario. And feel so happy about it. "It's the love that counts."
Al
What a lady! I almost felt sorry I hadn't met her before. She was everything I had ever looked for in a woman: bright, lovely, beautiful and with a big heart. Her understanding was a revelation. I had blurted out my story, without even thinking of the mistakes I made. It was something about her, that seemed to invite immediate trust, again so much like Sam. I grinned at the thought that crossed my mind.
"Wadda you grinning at?" Her soft question brought me back to reality.
"Just a thought," I replied. "You look so much like Sam, you could be a female version of him."
She stared at me for an instant, then burst out in a loud laugh. I joined her laughter, feeling awkward all the same. I didn't think it was that funny.
"Sorry," she grinned. "But that was about the last thing I expected you to say."
"I meant it to be a compliment," I muttered.
"I know, and I thank you for that." She grinned again, a mischievous glint appearing in her eyes. A frown followed.
"What?"
"This is frustrating." A deep sigh followed that remark.
"Tell me about it," I quipped. It sure was. I was lying in the arms of a lovely woman, while I was hopelessly in love with another man. Talking about an up-side-down world.
"Al, look at me." It wasn't a request, it was a demand. I gazed up at her, not knowing what to expect. Again the simularity between her eyes and Sam's struck me. Then it hit me, with the force of a freight train. I drew away abruptly, staring at her, totally bewildered.
"Seems like you've figured it out," she chuckled, eyes sparkling. "Kick in the butt, ain't it?"
If I had any doubts, that remark erased them completely.
"Sam?" I gasped.
Sam
He was so cute, with that startled look on his face. I couldn't keep my little secret any longer, when he told me I was a female version of myself. Whatever reason the one who was leaping me around had for this twisted leap, it didn't matter anymore.
"But...but...I can't see you." The words came rolling out of his mouth, and he looked like he still had trouble believing it. "And...eh...is there another me here?"
"Another... ?.Oh, the hologram. No, this is the only you here, for now." I grinned at his awkwardness. Then something occured to me. "What date is it?"
"October 24th, 1999. Why?"
"What was my last leap?"
"You played matchmaker for that...." I didn't let him finish his sentence.
"That was my last leap," I stated.
"That's what I told you!" He was getting impatient now.
"You don't get it, do you? I've landed into the present, your present."
His eyes widened and his mouth opened slightly. "Ah....you mean that I can't show up as a hologram, because I'm here and not on the Project?"
"Exactly," I smiled. "But as to why you see the aura instead of me, my mind is still working on that one." The second the statement left my mouth, I knew why I was here, and why as a woman, not as myself.
"Your mind stopped working?" I grinned at him, hearing that chuckled question. He had composed himself pretty quick, a lot quicker than I had expected.
"It came up with the answer, if that is what you mean. But first..." I held out my arms, wanting his nearness again. Without the slightest trace of hesitation he slipped back in the embrace, resting his head against my shoulder. For long moments we held on to each other in silence.
"Well, what's that superbrain come up with?" Al finally asked, the question sounding a bit muffled, since he had decided to bury his face in my neck.
"I'm here for you," I answered. His head left my shoulder, eyes full of confusion gazed at me. "You weren't doing too well, weren't you? And don't deny it!" I added, before he had a chance to protest, as I knew he would.
"Yeah, well...," he muttered. "Guess not."
"Guess not?"
"I can't hide anything from you, can I?"
"No." Liar, my mind screamed. He had managed to hide something for me, something very important.
"Okay, I was doing lousy. I don't sleep anymore, I started drinking again. Not as much as I used to, but still. Beeks is on my tail constantly, watching me like a hawk. She's the one that gave me orders to take a few days off. Don't laugh!"
"I'm sorry," I grinned. "Bena gave you orders?"
"She can, would you believe that! She really has the authority to do those kind of things!"
His outrage over that made me laugh. It was not that he didn't know before, but the fact that she really used it. Knowing Verbena as I did, she wouldn't do it unless she had a very good reason. Looking at Al, I could see why she made the decision to send him on sickleave. He was at the end of his rope. Tina's leaving had been the final blow.
"But..eh...what did you mean, you are here for me?"
"I was surprised you saw the aura, instead of me. There had to be a reason for that. And after what you just told me, I think I know what that reason is." I glanced down at him, but he didn't seem to get it. "Would you have made that confession, if you had known it was me?"
His mouth opened, then closed again. A fierce blush colored his cheeks, as if he realised only now what he'd done. "No," he whispered. "I wouldn't."
"Can you tell it again, to me?"
"Sam?" Total confusion now.
"Oh you, " I sighed. "Haven't you figured it out yet? I want you to say it again. I want to hear it again. I want to hear you say you love me." My voice broke at those last words.
"You mean....you....."
"Yes."
A hand came behind my head, lowering it until it was only an inch away from his. "I love you," he whispered, then kissed me. It was a soft, tentative kiss. He drew back after a few seconds, eyes still filled with uncertainty. "Are you sure?"
There was only one answer to that. "I love you," I told him, capturing his mouth again. No uncertainty from my part, I knew what I wanted. Completely breathless, I broke the kiss, staring into his dazed eyes.
"You sure know how to convince someone," he uttered in a hoarse voice.
"I didn't know you needed convincing," I quipped, feeling lightheaded with joy. My body made it more than clear it wanted more. It was a strange sensation. I had been in a woman's body before, too many times as far as I was concerned, but I had always managed to avoid situations like this. Now I didn't want to avoid it, I wanted to make love with this man, only.... Uncertainty struck with full force. The point is, we still weren't sure if it was my body or my mind that was leaping. I had a feeling it depended on the situation.
"Sam? Something wrong?"
"No....yes." I sighed. "You still see the aura?"
"Yeah, but what does that have to do with.....Ah, I see," he added, grinning.
"It's not funny!" I got no answer, not verbally anyway. He sat up and wrapped his arms tightly around me. His mouth descended on mine again in a flaming hot kiss. Hands were everywhere, stirring up a desire I hadn't felt in a long time. Without breaking the kiss he gently lowered me on the couch, covering me with his body. A moan escaped from my throat as his mouth left mine and begon licking and kissing my neck. I thrusted up to him, wanting to get closer than humanly possible. With trembling fingers I slid his jacket of his shoulders. He shrugged it out, then attacked the dress I was wearing, practically tearing it off me. My hands tugged his shirt out of his pants, sliding underneath it.
"Ah, Sam," he gasped. Hearing him say my name, the last shred of rationality left me. Our clothes were shed quickly, and finally I felt his naked body against mine. It felt more than good, it was heaven. I trailed his back with my fingers, hands settling on his ass, pulling our lower bodies closer. A low groan was the reaction, then he sat up. I whimpered in protest, not wanting to lose the contact.
"Easy, baby," he crooned, bending over to place a tender kiss on my lips. I opened my mouth, and an eager tongue slipped in, exploring. Thorougly distracted, I didn't anticipate his next move. My legs were pushed apart, and I cried out when I felt him entering me.
"Oh, God, AL!"
"You okay?" he asked softly, concern in his voice.
"Yes, oh yes. Please, make love to me." I panted, wrapping my legs around his waist.
He smiled and began thrusting slowly. Somewhere in the back of my mind a tiny voice was whispering, 'Now you know, it's your mind that leaps'. It was the last coherent thought before I was carried away on the unusual feelings, moaning his name over and over. I knew it wouldn't last long as his moves became more frantic. One last hard thrust and I felt him shudder. It was enough to send me up to space, stars exploding before my eyes in a mighty blast.
Al
It was all over much too quick. I wanted to stay inside her...him forever. Of all the women I had, no one had caused this kind of reaction from me. Maybe it was the strangeness of the situation, maybe it was the fact that I finally had admitted to myself that I was in love with my best friend, maybe.... There were so many reasons, but none of those mattered at that moment.
When my mind decided to join the world again, I looked at Sam. He was staring at me, smiling.
"Oh boy! Did I cause that?" he breathed, very self satisfied.
I gave him a thorough kiss before answering. "Don't get arrogant, you ain't seen nothing yet."
"Can't wait," he grinned. Soft, small hands framed my face, our eyes met and held. He opened himself up completely, I could see right down into his soul. What I found there was a love so pure and strong, it brought tears to my eyes. No living soul had ever looked at me that way.
"God, Sam," I whispered.
"Know that I love you, more than anyone. Whatever happens after this, carry that love with you. One day I will be home again."
"I believe you." I did, without the slightest trace of doubt. For the first time since this madness began, I truly believed he would come home again.
"Good," he replied. "And now, show me."
"Huh?"
"You said that I hadn't seen nothing yet. Well, show me."
I took me a few moments to adjust to this sudden change. Then I caught the mischievous gleem in his eyes, combined with a barely hidden desire.
"You little...," I gasped.
He laughed wholeheartedly, a strange sound. I knew it was Sam, but all I saw was a beautiful woman. I leered down, meanwhile looking at her...him more carefully. A very nice body, slender with small, firm breasts. Long, tawny coloured hair framed the pretty face. When I brushed it out of his face, I noticed the white streak.
"Checking out the merchandise?" His chuckled question startled me a little.
"She's very pretty," I answered honestly. Hands trailed along my sides, making me shiver.
"You're not that bad, either," he said in a teasing voice. Suddenly, I was crushed against him, arms holding me almost desperately. "In fact, you're gorgeous."
Sam
I felt him blush at that remark. It made me smile, but I meant it. I was looking at him differently now, with the eyes of a lover, and I defenitely liked what I saw. A trim, well muscled body, belying his true age. The scars, scattered over his chest and back, didn't throw me off. I knew they were there, and I knew where they came from. It only made my love grow, my admiration for his strength infinete. I ran my hand through his hair, and he lifted his head. I lost myself immediately in his eyes, could have stayed there forever, but he seemed to have other plans.
"Ready for some action?"
"Depends on what you mean with 'action'," I quipped.
"First, let's take this party to a more comfortable place." His gaze went to the bed, and I didn't need further prompting. I quickly disentangled myself from his arms, stood up and reached the bed in a few steps.
"Hey, wadda you waiting for?" For an answer, I was thrown on the bed. I fully expected him to jump my bones, but he remained standing next to the bed. It was almost like he was hesitating.
"You want permission?" I chuckled, unable to resist teasing him a little.
"Kinda," he grinned, shyly!
"Permission granted," I stated. He didn't move, and my impatience got the better of me. I sat up and wrapped my arms around his waist. "What's up? Except for the obvious."
He threw an asthonished look at me, then began to laugh. "Djeez, Sam, dirty talk? From you?"
Damn! I felt my cheeks heat up, causing another laugh. "Stop it!" I muttered. Bending my head, I gave a few teasing licks over his cock. A surprised cry was my reward, and gave me the courage to go on. Lowering my hands until they were resting on his ass, I pulled him closer, and began an earnest attack on his manhood. Although it was my first time, from this end at least, I wanted it to be perfect. I licked up and down the rigid staff, then planted a soft kiss on the head.
"Ah, Sam!" he gasped. "So good, feels so good!"
I smiled in triumph, then took him in my mouth. He uttered a low moan as I began sucking. The feeling of his hands on my shoulders, the sound of that raspy voice muttering encouring words, the musky smell that tickled my nose, it all made my head spin. I closed my eyes, concentrating on what I was doing.
"Sam, oh God Sam!!" he cried out, loud enough to waken the dead. The next thing I knew spurts of hot semen filled my mouth, and I nearly choked. Coughing, I managed to swallow it. It tasted like nothing I had ever experienced before, and I liked it.
"Oh, baby," he sighed. "That was terrific."
I held him, my face against his stomach. It felt wonderful, and I could have remained like that for hours. A tremble that went though his body reminded me that he probably had trouble to stay on his feet. Releasing my arms, I laid back again.
"C'mere," I whispered.
He stretched down beside me, a smile on his face.Warm, loving arms came around me, and my mouth was taken in a slow, deep kiss. When we parted for air, he grinned.
"You wanted me to show you something?"
I guess I was expecting something like that, because I managed to answer him without blushing. "You don't think it ends here, don't you?"
He shook his head, his smile deepening. "I never want it to end."
"Me neither," I said softly, tears threatening. "God, I love you."
Al
Sam's actions surprised the hell out of me. Not that I was complaining; it was one of the most amazing blowjobs I ever had. Not perfect technique, far from it, but done with enthusiasm and most of all, love. You see, for a long time now, love and sex had been two seperate things for me. I couldn't recall the last time I had sex with someone I really loved. Sad, but true. Always afraid to get hurt again, I didn't let anyone get close enough. Looking down at that sweet creature in my arms, I knew that this was the one that wouldn't hurt me. Those soft words touched me to the very core, healing a lot of wounds.
We snuggled close, completely content just to be together. No words were spoken, we didn't need any. I thought he had fallen asleep, when he suddenly lifted his head.
"Al?"
"What, love?"
"Don't you have to call the Project? After all, this is still a leap."
The innocent question brought me back to reality. He was right, this was a leap. I sighed heavily, and sat up, reaching for the phone. I dialed the number automatically, never keeping my eyes of Sam. He smiled reassuringly, but I could see a touch of apprehension in his eyes.
To my utmost surprise, Gooshie told me Sam was still between leaps. I mumbled some answers, too stunned to come up with anything sensible. Sam's eyes were twinkling with laughter as I put down the receiver.
"You know, this is the first time I've seen you at a loss for words," he chuckled.
"Quit it, Sam," I muttered. Arms were flung around me, and a soft voice whispered in my ear.
"Never."
I rested my head on his shoulder for a moment, overcome with emotions. "I know, kid, I know."
Just reminding you," he stated. "Now, what had Gooshie to tell?"
"You're still between leaps."
His mouth fell open in pure asthonisment. "You're kidding!"
"Nope." I felt a laugh bubbling up, realising how weird this situation was. We stared at each other for a second, then both burst out in laughter.
"I'm not really here.." he grinned. "You made love to a ghost."
"Yeg!" I shivered, laughing. Grabbing his arms, I hauled him to me, capturing his mouth in a passionate kiss. Breaking it, I held him at armslength and shook my head.
"I don't know what you are, but defenitely not a ghost."
He let out a deep sigh, eyes suddenly serious. His voice trembled a little when he spoke up.
"You don't know what it means to me that I can touch you again."
Sam
I could see Al was a little confused by my sudden change of mood. But it all got a bit too much for me. Within a few hours, a fairly ' normal' leap had turned into something wonderful. Not only was I able to be in the same time with my dearest friend , but I also found a love there, that went beyond my wildest dreams. As I looked at him, I was amazed that no one ever saw what was behind that 'devil may care' attitude. If they only had taken the effort to dig a little deeper, then they would have discovered the real man there. Someone who had been through hell, and made it back. Brittle, hurt, but he never gave up. A survivor. It also made me look deep inside myself. We were not that different. Like him, I had never given up trying to find that one special person in my life, only to realize now that person had been there for many years. I just didn't see it.
"Sam?" I smiled at the concern in his voice.
"Just doing a little soul searching," I explained. "Wondering why I didn't see what has been staring me in the face for so long."
"Wadda you mean, you didn't see what?"
I reached out , smiling. "You."
Several emotions played over his face, and I saw he had trouble keeping in the tears.
"You always saw me," he finally said in a rough voice. I drew him close, lying back on the bed again.
The rest of the night we spent holding each other, talking, getting the pent up emotions out of our system. It was the most incredible night I had ever experienced. We fell asleep in the early hours of the morning, safely in each others arms.
The next few days were equally wonderful. I played the Blackjack tables, winning again. Al joked I could make a career out of that, should I ever decide to quit being a scientist.
His shocked face when I replied that I might consider that, had the croupier and me in a laughing fit. We called the Project twice a day, but always got the same answer: I was still between leaps. Gooshie was becoming worried, it had never taken that long. Al assured him that everything was okay, but I'm not sure our headprogrammer believed him. We didn't let it bother us, enjoying every minute we could spent together, in or out of bed.
Our lovemaking was passionate and intense, but there was a nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach that got worse over the days. I tried hard not to let it show, but I should have known he'd see it.
"What's bugging you, kid?"
"Nothin'," I mumbled. My head was resting on his chest, and I was glad he couldn't see my eyes.
A gentle hand tilted my head back. "Sam...."
I sighed, knowing I couldn't avoid it. "It's just.... These last days have been great...."
"But....," I flinched at the tone of his voice, so...numb.
"It's not what you think," I said hastily. "I have no regrets about this, and I never will. I'm just not comfortable with the fact that you see the aura instead of me." There , it was out.
"That's not the whole story, is it?"
"Uh, no," I paused a few moments to gather my thoughts. Taking in a deep breath, I took the plunge. It had to be said sooner or later.
"You see me as a lovely woman right now. I can't help wondering what it would be like if I was myself."
"Then other people would still see you as Stephanie," he countered.
"That's not what I mean, and you know it!" I spat, annoyed. He was trying to avoid the subject.
Silence eat up several minutes. Finally, he sighed deeply.
"Ah, Sam..."
Al
I can't say I didn't anticipate this. The thought had crossed my mind more than once, during the last few days. I only hoped he wouldn't bring it up. I had lost myself completely in the fantasy. No, not completely. When I looked at him sometimes, I swear I saw Sam, not Stephanie. Those were the best moments. What would I have done if I had seen Sam from the start? The answer came easy and made me smile: the same.
His face was set in worried lines, eyes demanding an answer. I longed to reach out and love that worry away, but something told me that wasn't the right thing to do.
"It would be even better if you were you," I told him. A small light appeared in his eyes, and that gave me the courage to tell him everything. It's not easy for me to spill my guts like that, but with Sam it rarely was a problem.
"I wish I could see you, touch you, kiss you." I let my gaze wander over the woman that lay beside me. "I know it's you inside that pretty package, but I want to be with you, not with Stephanie. I want to feel your arms holding me through the night." My voice trailed off, so many emotions were colliding inside me, and I couldn't find the words to express them. Suddenly, I wanted so much to see him, to crawl in his arms and never let go.
Soft arms came around me and a voice whispered loving words in my ear. A woman's voice.... I pulled away abruptly.
"Al?" There were tears in his eyes, confusion on his face.
" Sorry," I whispered. "This isn't easy, kid."
"I know." My head snapped up. His eyes widened in surprise, as I kept staring at him. Him.... The image of a tiny woman faded, and was replaced by a very familiar one. I reached out and touched his face with a trembling hand, tracing the contours.
"What is it?" The sound of his voice send a thrill of excitement through my system.
"You," I answered breathlessly, drinking in the sight.
"What about me?" His complete confusion made me grin. He hadn't realised yet what had happened. Okay, Beckett I'll show you.. My hands trailed from his face to his neck and lower. A shiver ran through him.
"Al?!?" he shrieked when I teasingly ran my fingers over his abdomen.
"You like that, don't you?"
"Yeah," he panted, then let out another cry, as my fingers went lower. "God, what are you doing?!?"
"What I've been wanting to do for a long time: making love to you." With that statement I rolled myself on top of him and claimed that irresistible mouth. After a brief moment of hesitation he kissed back, wrapping his arms around me. The sensations made me lightheaded, knowing that this was the real thing, not the fantasy I had lived with these last three days. His face was flushed when we parted, understanding shining in his eyes.
"I'm me, aren't I?"
"Took you long enough to figure that out," I chuckled.
Sam
I didn't have a chance to come up with an answer; I wonder if my mind was capable of it right now. All I could do was respond to the fiery hot kiss he gave me, my system rapidly reaching the point of complete overload. With great difficulty I tore my lips away, and rolled us over, my weight pinning him to the matrass. I stared down into dark eyes that were burning with desire. I knew what I wanted, it had been haunting my mind since this crazy leap began, and now I finally had the chance to do it. A sudden surge of apprehension ran through me, as I looked at him.
"Do it, Sam. Please." I smiled, he had been able to read my thoughts again.
"Sure?" I needed to know, the last thing I wanted was to stir up old ghosts.
"Yes. I want you." The words came out shaky, eyes reflecting old pain, but also a vast need. That last thing convinced me.
Taking a few deep breaths to regain control first, I leaned over and kissed him tenderly. I had to take it slow and gentle, although my body was screaming for release.
Al
To say I was scared would be a gross understatement. The moment Sam's eyes met mine, I knew what he had in mind. It took me all the courage I had, to stay were I was.
The hesitation in his eyes eased some of the tension, and made my fear subside a little. I only had to say 'no', and he would back off. The knowledge that he would never do anything to hurt me, decided it. Setting my fear aside, I told him it was okay.
The tender kiss relaxed me further. I felt him trembling, desperately trying to control his own need. His mouth left mine, trailing soft kisses over my face. It was so sweet, so loving. My arms slid around his neck, my fingers playing with his hair. Pulling back a little, he smiled at me.
"Love you." I know, God, I know. I realised that I never knew what it meant to be loved, until that moment. It made my heart sing, the feeling running through my system like a shot of adrenaline. I opened my mouth, but before I could say one word, he put a finger on my lips.
"Don't say anything, you don't need to. I can see it." Smiling another one of those killer smiles, he went on with his loving attack. Lips on my neck, featherlight. I moaned in delight and threw my head back. More insistent kisses scattered all over my shoulder, his mouth moving lower. I cried out when he laved a nipple, electric surges going down all the way to my groin. My hands stroked the broad shoulders, then his upperarms. It was a huge difference from the delicate female curves I had become to know so well. This was better, far better. He raised his head again, and gazed at me for a second.
"You're scared," he stated.
I nodded,unable to say anything. He rolled off me, laying down beside me. I shivered at the sudden coldness that washed over me. Immediately, I was pulled into a warm embrace.
"Don't force yourself to do this," he said softly. "I know why you're afraid."
I fought a silent battle with myself. A part of me wanted to give him what he wanted, but a larger part was screaming in agony because of the memories this stirred up. No matter how hard I tried to force that part down, I couldn't.
"It's okay, I understand." The words held nothing but understanding. I looked up into a smiling face. "Someday you will be able to give me that. I can wait." He didn't wait for my reaction. His body covered me, and a hot mouth claimed mine. Fire ran through my veins, every nerve ending standing on edge. God, what this kid could do to me! We rocked together, our cocks rubbing against each other in delicious friction. All the blood drained from my head, wave after wave of pleasure wracked my body.
"Come baby, come with me," he panted in my ear. A mighty howl escaped from his troath as he threw his head back, and I felt a wetness on my stomach. That, and the magnificent sight of Sam at the height of passion, triggered my own orgasm.
We held each other, slowly recovering. I lazily stroked his hair. His eyes were closed, a smile stretching his lips. I found him beautiful, and told him so. A vague blush coloured his cheeks as he opened his eyes.
"So are you," was the whispered reply, the smile getting broader. "You're blushing," he grinned teasingly.
"Nah....." I protested. "I never blush."
"Up 'till now. Lover, you look like a lobster."
"Saaaam!"To my chagrin, I knew all too well he was right.
"What is it, can't you take a compliment?"
"I can," I muttered, then the penny dropped. "Hey, wait a second! You little tease!" His loud laugh echoed through the room. I slapped his butt, but that made him laugh even louder. I had no other choice than to join his laughter.
When we both managed to control our breathing again, he crushed me to him. "Feels good ," he murmured.
"Mmmmh," was all I could manage.
Sam
It was heaven to feel him so close to me. I wrapped myself around him, wishing I could crawl inside of him. My friend, my lifeline, my love. He looked so happy now, resting in my arms. I knew I would move heaven and earth to keep that look on his face. That thought brought me back to the cold reality. What would happen to him after I'd leaped? When whoever it was, decided I should move on to right another wrong? As far as I was concerned, I had done my job. I had done good, saved a lot of people, and it was enough. This leap had given me the opportunity to change yet another life, the life of the one person in the world I could ever love, the most important thing I had ever set right.
"You're gonna leap," he said quietly.
"No....no...I don't think so, not yet." The statement startled me a little, and tied my insides into a knot. "Not ever, if I can help it."
His hand reached up, and stroked my face. "I wish you could stay, too. But you'll have to."
"No, I don't!!" How could he be so casual about it, cheerful even?
A low chuckle followed. "I don't like the idea of you leaping again, but you'll have to take at least one more leap. Home," he added, very softly.
I stared at him, letting his answer sink in. He was right, of course. To everyone but him, I was still Stephanie, not Sam. I had to take one more leap, to become myself again. Simple.....no, not so simple. "You know I have no control over the leaps." I choked out.
"You hadn't. But look at this one. You landed in the present, which is probably why Ziggy is still insisting you're still between leaps. Okay, you're not Sam Beckett, you're Stephanie Baker, who happened to work at PQL. What would you say if I told you, there isn't a Stephanie Baker working at the Project?"
"What? She has to be there! How else could I have taken on her aura?" This was getting too weird for words!
"You haven't," he smiled. "Remember I said she was a female version of you?"
I grinned at the memory. "Yes, imagine my surprise when I saw myself in the mirror." He ignored that remark, and continued explaining. A sparkle had appeared in his eyes; he was clearly enjoying this.
"She was, Sam. I took the liberty of checking out her papers. There all in the bag," he pointed out, seeing the question in my eyes. "And before you make a big fuss over it, listen to this." He gave me a summary of Stephanie's credentials: there were exactly the same as mine at that age! The only difference, apart from the gender, was that she was born in 1975.
"Boggles the mind, huh?" Al grinned. "I know I had difficulty believing it. But I think I have come up with an answer to all the questions that are wracking that superbrain of yours at the moment."
"You have?" I gasped. My mind was taking a rollercoaster ride, nothing coherent came out of it.
"Yep. That first night, when I confessed how I felt about you, I didn't know it was you. To me, you were a beautiful, young woman, that seemed to understand me. That's why I could do it, to finally say out loud what had been living inside my heart for so long. It was fate, Sam, it was meant to be."
The way he said it, it all seemed so simple. "And because I was a woman, things were a lot easier for you."
"I guess they know me pretty well, up there," he chuckled, pointing upwards.
"Breaking you in gently?" I teased.
"Giving me time to get used to the idea," he grumbled, giving me a light punch in my stomach. I let out an exaggerated whine, and earned myself a harder punch. We mock-wrestled for a couple of minutes, and ended up with me pinning him to the matress.
"And now, tell me how this can take me home," I demanded.
"Let me finish my story, please." I shot him a stern look, but he wasn't impressed.
" The instant I told you that having you with me would be my idea of heaven, the aura was gone. God, Fate, Time or Whatever is leaping you around, is trying to tell us something, Sam."
"That when you really want something, nothing is impossible," I whispered.
"You got it." A smile lit up his face, and his arms sneaked around my neck. "I know this sounds strange, especially coming from me, but with everything that has happened in this leap..."
"All I have to do is wish to be home again." Then I shook my head. "Won't work, I have been doing that more times than I can count, and look where it got me."
He didn't answer, kept looking at me. The love I saw in his eyes washed over me, folding around me like a blanket, warm and safe. I closed my eyes and made my wish. I felt that familiar pull at my insides, opened my eyes, and before the leap yanked me away once more, I whispered,
"Wait for me, I love you."
THE END ?
Back to
QL pageBack to
Homepage