Couch Potatoes 2
Lisa Martin
"I'm bored." Methos stretched himself lazily on
the couch.
"Oh, and why is that?" MacLeod looked over his
shoulder at his lover.
"Nothing happens around here.'' His voice sounded
suspiciously like a whine.
MacLeod grinned and sat down on the couch. "I
thought the place saw some very nice action last night."
Methos threw him a suffering look. "Maybe. But
because that damned couch is still broken we can't get any real action."
"We can try the floor," Mac suggested, knowing
what the answer would be.
"No thanks, got enough carpet burns to last me a
lifetime." Methos pulled a face when he saw the Scot grin. "And now
I'm getting predictable, what ever next?"
"I don't know," Mac shrugged, still grinning. "I
suppose the bed is out of the question."
Methos' eyes narrowed and Mac could see the wheels
turning, already dreading the outcome of that process. "We could try to
get them out of there." He gestured at the adjacent room.
"I gather you've got a plan to accomplish
that?"
"Not yet, but I'm working on it." Silence ruled
for long moments, and Mac was getting impatient.
"Anything I can do to help?"
"Huh? Oh yes, you can get me a beer."
Mac rolled his eyes, wondering why he even asked. He
stood up and headed for the refrigerator. Opening it, he grabbed a bottle and
threw it at Methos.
"Catch!"
Startled, Methos managed to catch the bottle just before
it hit him in the face. "This your idea of a joke, MacLeod?" he cried
out.
"Just keeping you on your toes. You're getting
rusty."
"And who's fault is that??" Methos shot back. "We
can't practice in here, as you well know."
"Aye, I know. And there's no stories about us
either." Mac took another beer and sat down again on the end of the couch.
"She's lazy," Methos grunted.
"You know that's not true! But I thought you hated
those stories?" Mac peeked from under his eyelashes at the man who lay
sprawled on the couch. He knew by experience that that look could get him
anywhere.
"That's right. I do!!"
"Then why are you complaining?"
Methos sighed, knowing he was cornered. And he didn't
like it. "I'm bored, that's all."
Mac shook his head, smiling. They had come full circle. "So,"
he said, settling himself against his lover. "What kind of plan have you
come up with?"
"Now you're talking," Methos grinned. "Well,
I thought since we aren't getting any stories here, maybe we could persuade her
friend to write one."
"Uhuh, go on." Mac nuzzled Methos' neck.
"MacLeod, I can't think when you do this!"
"That's the idea." The nuzzles became kisses.
Methos grabbed the Highlander's shoulder and pushed him
away. "First let you tell me what I have in mind, then you can go on. And
don't give me that sad puppy look!" he added, only half succeeding in
hiding his smile. Damn, this man could turn him to mush with a mere look, he
thought to himself.
"Okay," Mac shrugged.
"As I said we should get her friend to write one. Maybe
a sequel to the one she wrote some time ago."
"The one with Ray?" Mac's smile became wicked.
"Yes," Methos nodded. He waited impatiently for
a reaction to his idea. When none came he shook Mac. "Hey, you're falling asleep
on me?"
"As I do every night," Mac quipped. He dodged
the blow neatly, grinning widely. "The idea is good, only you're a little
late."
"Late??"
"Aye, I already suggested that to her." To call
Methos' reaction stunned would be the understatement of the year.
"You did? When?"
"When I went to her house."
"Oh, when you…you what???"
MacLeod had the grace to look slightly guilty. "I
went to her to solve the situation between Ben and Ray."
Understanding dawned. "So it's you who is
responsible for us getting stuck on this damned couch?" Methos' stare
became darker.
"I guess I am." Another attack followed and
soon the two were wrestling on the couch. Methos, having the advantage of the
surprise, soon had MacLeod outmanouvered and was sitting on top of him.
"You stupid Scot!! You couldn't leave it alone,
could you?? Nooo, you just had to interfere again!"
MacLeod saw the annoyance in the hazel eyes, and knew it
for the fake that it was. "I was worried about Ray."
"Why? He was having fun!"
Mac sighed deeply. "Yes, he was, but you know as
well as I do that he doesn't belong with us. I merely set things right."
"Leave that to the other boy scout," Methos
grunted. "It's his job to make things right again, not yours."
"He was no help…
"Well excuse me!! Who's he to talk??"
Lisa started, her hands still on the keyboard. It caused
an unidentifiable string of letters on the screen. She quickly hit the
backspace button, erasing it. "Sam Beckett!" she gasped. "Give
me a heartattack, why don't you?"
"Sorry," the man standing next to her muttered.
"But I won't take any insults from him!"
"What do you have against MacLeod?" Lisa asked,
wondering whatever she had done now.
"Nothing, usually. But he is accusing me of not
doing my job!" One glance at Sam and Lisa realized that he was truly
insulted.
"Well, Sam, I hate to admit it, but this time he is
right. You didn't lift a finger." She got a dark stare for that, but
wasn't in the least bit intimidated. Sam Beckett, she could handle, even an
angry one.
"I was busy," Sam grunted.
Lisa laughed. "Oh yeah, I should say you were! Look
Sam, no one is blaming you for taking some time off. God knows you deserve it. That's
why Duncan stepped in."
"He doesn't have to be so presumptuous about
it!" In true Beckett spirit, Sam wasn't about to budge.
"He isn't. Just showing off to Methos."
Sam pondered that statement for a moment, then a grin
broke on his face. "Challenging him, huh?"
"Something like that," Lisa nodded, hoping that
it would never come to a real challenge between those two.
"Okay, I can live with that, I suppose," Sam
shrugged.
"You're gonna have to, I'm not changing one
letter!" Not this time, Lisa thought grimly. "And now get out of my
sight, I have a story to finish!"
"Yes Ma'am! On one condition."
"And that is?"
"I want to read that story before you send it to
Agnes."
"How the hell did you know I was going to do
that??"
Sam merely grinned and walked out of the living room. Lisa
sighed deeply, looking wearily at the computerscreen. "They're figuring me
out, and I don't like that, not one bit!" she muttered under her breath. Putting
her fingers back on the keys she began to type again.
"He was no help," Mac smirked. "Too busy
with something else."
"So you decided to come to the rescue," Methos
stated. "Mac, could you mind your own business for a change?"
"And what business would that be?"
Methos actually had to think about that. "Me,"
he said in the end.
Mac laughed out loud. "Predictable…." he
teased.
Another wrestling match followed, the couch creaking
dangerously.
"Hey guys, will you stop that!" The shout came
too late. With a loud crack the couch finally gave up the fight and collapsed.
"Ooops," Methos emerged from under 200 pounds
of Scottish Highlander. "I think we are in trouble."
"You think???" Mac barked, struggling to get to
his feet. "It's not funny!" he shot at Ray who stood slumped against
the door frame, howling with laughter.
"What is happening?" Fraser appeared next to
his lover. He took in the mess the two Immortals had created and tried
desperately to contain his laughter. "The couch is broken," he
stated. It caused another bout of laughter from Ray, who by now was sitting on
the floor.
"Will
you cut it out!!" MacLeod was really angry now. "Who is going to
explain this mess?" He gestured at the remnants of the couch.
"Not me," was Methos prompt answer. "No
MacLeod, serves you right for teasing me."
"Oh, it's my fault, is it now??" MacLeod
whirled around to face his lover.
"Yes."
It was more than Mac could take. He launched himself at
Methos, who merely stepped aside. Mac went sailing through the room and came to
a halt against a cupboard. Hard. He landed on his butt on the floor, the
contents of the cupboard falling on top of him.
"Oh no!!" Ray was on his feet in a second. "If
something will get you into trouble it's this." He picked up an item from
a dazed Duncan MacLeod and held it up. "Her videotapes."
Silence ruled for a few moments. "Uhoh," Methos
said finally. "Now that is trouble. Come on, Duncan, stand up. We
have to clean this up before she gets home."
"No," the Scot replied. "Get this stuff
off me and put it back where it belongs. I am not moving one inch. You caused
this, you clean it up."
"I caused this??" Methos was outraged. "You
didn't have to attack me!"
"You dinna have to taunt me!"
Fraser sighed, and exchanged a glance with Ray, who shook
his head. "I am not gonna put all those tapes back," he said
in a determined voice.
"Ray, it doesn't look like they are going to do
it."
"You just want to suck up to her!" Ray shot
back. Fraser's face darkened.
"That is not true, Ray. I merely don't want to cause
any more trouble."
"You didn't do this! Let those kids do it."
"Kids!!" The outcry came in stereo.
Ray shrugged. "I don't care how old you two are. You're
behaving like kids." A wicked smile appeared on his face. "Besides,
we only have your word for it that you are as old as you say you are."
"Ray," Fraser cautioned.
Ray winked at him and continued, "I mean, for all I
know you two could be well.." he shrugged, "the same age as Benny and
me."
"Which qualifies you as kids too," Methos shot
back.
"Don't change the subject," Ray retorted. "Well
wadda you say? Can you prove your age? I don't suppose you have an ID."
Methos and MacLeod exchanged glances. Methos sighed,
shaking his head. From the gleem in his eyes, Mac could tell he was actually
enjoying this. He let out a sigh of his own, it would probably take his entire
lifetime to figure Methos out.
"We have ID's, but those won't tell you
anything," Methos began. He reached into his jeans pocket and produced his
wallet, taking out a card. "Look," he said to Ray, who walked over
and took the card. It was a standard ID card, nothing special about it, made out
to a Adam Pierson.
"This says you're 28," Ray remarked.
"Yes. A proper age for a grad student." Methos
frowned. "I should alter this, time to take on a new persona. The grad
student routine has worn itself out."
"What this time?" MacLeod asked. "Back to
medicine again?"
"Maybe," Methos shrugged. "Have to think
about that."
"Medicine?"
Methos grinned at Ray. "I have been a doctor several
times in my lifetime."
"Yeah right!" Ray drawled, not ready to give in
yet.
"How old are you, exactly?" Fraser cut in. This
teasing match was just the perfect opening for him to ask a question that had
been on his mind for a while.
"Old enough to have seen the Egyptian farao's,"
Methos smiled.
Fraser did a quick calculation in his head. "That
makes you more than 3000 years old!"
"Older."
"Benny, don't believe everything he tells you,"
Ray remarked. "And you?" he adressed MacLeod.
"A lot younger than Methos, but still around 400
years."
"Almost 406, a mere babe in the woods compared to
me," Methos teased. He received a scowl from MacLeod for that. "Predictable,
Mac."
"Prove it," Ray demanded.
This time Methos didn't give a witty comeback. His face
turned very serious and he seemed to be concentrating on something. Finally he
spoke up. "I haven't done this in a long time, but I can try." He
moved towards Ray until he was about two feet away from him. "Are you sure
you want to know?"
"Yes," Ray said, knowing instinctively he was
going to get the proof he asked for. This was no longer teasing, this was
serious. "Yes, I'm sure," he repeated.
"Okay." Methos placed his hands on Ray's face,
his fingertips on the temples. "Now concentrate."
Ray did as he was told and closed his eyes. Immediately
he began to see things, images, that whirled around for a moment, then focused.
He saw pyramids, then men fighting, pictures of a barren landscape, faces and
then… He gasped. Methos moved his hands away from his face.
"Convinced?"
"Yes," Ray whispered. "But that last
thing….."
Methos gave a shrug. "Couldn't help myself. Please,
do not tell what you just saw."
"I promise."
"Good. Now, what are we going to do about this
mess?"
"You clean it up." MacLeod was nothing if not
stubborn.
Fraser sighed
deeply and started to pick up some of the tapes that lay scattered over the
floor.
"Benny!!"
Fraser opened his mouth to answer, but was cut short by
the front door opening.
"Hi guys!" A shocked pause. "What the hell
happened here??"
THE END
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