Emily Quartermaine sat in the armchair besides her son’s bed watching him sleep. The soft quiet sound of his breathing was the sweetest music she knew.

Twelve days. It had been twelve days since their ordeal at Helena’s hands had ended. Twelve nights where she had slept the entire night through. Twelve days when she hadn’t flinched at every shadow.

Twelve days during which she and Lucky had behaved like polite strangers.

Emily sighed. Her life seemed to be in this holding pattern where she couldn’t move forward and she couldn’t go back. She didn’t know what her next step should be. She had to protect Jonathan, but what was the best way to do that? Go back to Port Charles? Let Jonathan meet his grandparents? His cousins? His father?

Or take Jonathan and walk back out the door and into that shadowy underground world they had been living in all of these years.

The answer was at once simple and complex. She would do what she needed to do to protect her son.

Once she figured out what that was.

After a moment, Emily slipped out of her son’s room to take a shower and start her day.

Lucky sat on the deck overlooking the ocean. The large beach house was very expensive to rent but had been well worth it and thanks to his work for Jax he could afford it. Emily was getting better, the circles under yer eyes were almost gone. Her wounds, both physical and emotional, were healing. Jonathan. Lucky smiled. Jonathan was blossoming in the sunny weather and beautiful beach. He and Emily were both watching Jonathan closely for any signs of stress from his ordeal but so far Jonathan was coping with the aftereffects of what happened better than either adult was.

Lucky grinned. Sometimes when they were sitting on the beach they almost seemed like any other family on vacation.

Except for the armed guards courtesy of Jason’s connection with the Mexican Mafia who guarded the perimeter.

And except for the fact that he kept waiting for the moment when Emily would take Jonathan and leave.

And break his heart.

Other than that everything was normal

Normal like hell.

Every minute he was around Emily his feelings grew stronger and conversely he became more and more afraid to tell her how he felt. Had it been the danger they had been in that had created these feelings? Were they real? It would be so easy to chalk up his feelings to circumstances not real love.

Then she would smile at him and the tightening of his gut would blow that theory away. The plain and simple truth was that he was in love with Emily Quartermaine. He had loved Elizabeth, loved her deeply for all the years they had been married and for a lifetime before that. If she hadn’t died he would have loved her for the rest of his life. But his life had changed forever the day Liz’s car had struck the ice and gone off the road. And then it had changed again when he had looked up at Lila Quartermaine’s funeral and met Emily’s eyes.

“Any word from your dad?” Emily’s soft voice interrupts his thoughts and he turns to casually feast on her with his eyes.

Lucky nods. “He called earlier. He’s taking the plane back from Boston and should be here late tonight or early tomorrow.”

“I’m glad he decided to go to Boston for Sean’s funeral. He needed to be there.”

“But he hated to leave with things up in the air here. The WSB searched everywhere for Helena and now Jason has his men scouring the region. Until something turns up one way or the other, we wait.”

Emily smiles. “At least you picked a beautiful place for us to wait in.”

“It is absolutely beautiful,” Lucky replies, with his eyes focused on Emily, “Absolutely beautiful.” Later that morning-

Jonathan is taking a nap and Emily and Lucky are left alone. They make small talk for a few minutes but the conversation soon dwindles into an awkward silence. Finally Lucky’s patience snaps.

“We need to talk.”

Emily looks at him from her seat curled up on the couch with a magazine. “Do we?” she manages to respond in a cool and collected voice despite the rapid beating of her heart.

“God yes,” Lucky is close to exploding at the reserve in her manner. He doesn’t understand this wall she’s thrown up between them. He thinks of the closeness between the two of them in Helena’s cell and wonders how they could have drifted this far apart. There is something between them, cold and dark and impenetrable like the Arctic Ocean. “You can’t ignore what happened between us at the compound.”

“I can try, “ She gets off the couch and walks to the window. “I can try,” she repeats.

“Why?” Lucky moves to stand behind her. “Was it so awful?”

Emily keeps her eyes focused on the scene outside the window. “It was the danger we were in. It didn’t mean anything. Get over it.” She can feel his breath on the back of her neck, the warmth of his body calling out to hers.

Lucky swears under his breath. Then he gently turns her around so that she has to face him. Her brown eyes are huge and wide and solemn. Lucky reaches up to trace the path of a tear drop as it falls. He leans closer to her and gently presses his lips to hers. After a moment, almost reluctantly, she responds and he depends the pressure. For a few moments they are lost in an amazing world of their own creation.

When he breaks it off, his voice is husky and slightly trembling.

“Tell me that didn’t mean anything,” he challenges her.

Emily is about to tell him exactly that when she stops. Somehow she can’t make herself lie to him.

“It meant everything,” She whispers to him softly, “ but it changes nothing.”

And with those words she turns and walks away.

He doesn’t get another chance to speak to her until later that day. She is sitting on the beach watching Jonathan play in the sand.

“Why?” he asks softly as he sits next to her.

She doesn’t even bother pretending to not know what he is talking about, but she won’t look at him. “Because there is too much between us. It wouldn’t work.”

“It’s not like you to give up without a fight.”

She whirls on him. “How would you know what is like me or not like me? You don’t know me. Not anymore. You don’t know the things I’ve done. What I’m capable of doing. I’m not the same Emily Quartermaine you used to eat grape snocones with.”

“No, you’re the Emily Quartermaine I fell in love with.” Lucky responds.

That stops her.

“You shouldn’t she whispers. “all I do is hurt people.”

“Hurt people?” Lucky laughs softly. “All you’ve done is heal me. Until I saw you again I was dead inside you. You gave me a reason to live again.”

“And almost got you killed,” Emily’s voice is flat. “You were shot- twice- because of me. And Sean died because of me. And Jonathan almost died because of me.”

“Not because of you- because of Helena Cassidine. Emily the woman is an evil bitch. You are not responsible for her actions.”

“You don’t get it,” Emily says keeping her voice low so that Jonathan can’t hear her. “It is my fault. If I hadn’t slept with Nikolas that night none of this would have happened. I should have walked away. I knew he was drunk. I knew it was wrong. But I did it anyway. I saw my chance and I took it and I’ve been paying for it ever since. I deserve to pay for what I did wrong, but I’ll be damned if I’ll drag anybody else into this hellhole with me.”

“You deserved to be tortured? To be hunted down like an animal? To have to give up your home? Your friends? Your family?” Lucky wants so badly to touch her but instinct tells him that she is close to breaking. “You made a mistake Emily. You were 19 years old and you made a mistake. Isn’t about time that you forgave yourself? That you let it go? For your sake. For Jonathan’s. The only one to blame in this entire mess is Helena Cassadine,” he repeated the words again, hoping that she will really hear him this time. “I only hope that I killed her for you.”

There is silence between them for the longest time. Then Emily reaches out and gently takes his hand into hers holding onto it like it were a lifeline. “Thank you.”

“No problem.” He is silent for a while watching the sun reflect the bronze highlights of her hair. There is a peace between them and a connection that neither of them wants to break. they both there is more to be said. More to be decided. They both know the future is far from decided.

But after all they have been through, individually and together, the present and this moment feel pretty good.

After a moment, Lucky pulls Emily to her feet. “Come on, “ he smiles at her. “Looks like your son could use a lesson in how to build a sand castle.”

“And when was the the last time you ever built a sand castle,”

“You would be surprised what kinds of skills a Spencer can pick up over time,” Lucky says as he follows Emily to where Jonathan is. That night

Emily is lying in bed trying to sleep, but all she can think about is Lucky. The’d spent the entire afternoon playing with Jonathan. All afternoon Lucky seemed to come up with reason after reason to touch her. Holding her hand as they walked on the beach, touching her shoulder as they built a sandcastle. And the kiss this morning which is seldom far from her mind.

He said he loved her. She didn’t know if she believed him. He might think he loved her, but she was too different from Liz for Lucky to ever fall in love with her. To ever see her as anything other than a close friend. How could he love her after losing Liz? Liz had been sweet and kind and everything that was beautiful. Emily was....just Emily.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself Quartermaine, she tells herself as she continues to be plagued with self doubt. And afterall, it didn’t really matter if he loved her, What mattered was could she leave him? And she would have to leave him behind. There was no way that she could ask Lucky to come with her, to share her life in the darkness. She remembered how hurt he had been all those years ago when he had discovered that his parents had lied to him. There was no way she was going to force him to live a lie for her. He would end up hating her. Or hating Jonathan.

She closed her eyes. She could see it now. He would beg her to stay. Tell her he could keep her safe. Keep Jonathan safe. And maybe he would. Maybe he could. But then one day he wouldn’t come home from school. Or disappear from the park when they took him there to play.

Helena Cassadine was pure evil. And she would not stop until she had Jonathan.

She shook her head. If Helena was alive there would be no choice. She would walk away. SHe had done it once seven years ago. SO what if this time she knew better what she was giving up.

Jonathan was all that mattered.

No, she corrected herself, not all that mattered. Just the most important. What she wanted or what Lucky wanted faded away in comparision to keeping Jonathan safe.To keeping Lucky safe. The image of his being shot was still fresh and vivid in her mind. If she gave in , if she stayed or if she asked him to come with her, than there would come a day when Lucky would be in danger again. And this time he might not walk away from it.

She loved him. Loving him meant protecting him at any costs. At all costs. Wh oknows when Jason will call? Who knows what he will have to say?

Lucky couldn’t sleep. ALl he could think about was Emily. It had been an incredible afternoon. Watching her smile. Seeing her laugh. Taking away that haunted look from her eeys for just a little while.

He was scared to death that it wasn’t going to last.

That he would lose her.

That Helena would truly win.

He wanted to be with her. How could he let her leave his life again?

But how could he stop her?

He sat up as the door to the bedroom gently opened. Emily stood in the doorway.

She took his breath away.

“Lucky,” her voice is soft and hesitant. She walked over to the bed and set down next to him. Without saying a word he reached out for her hand.

“I’m scared.”

“Of what? Of me?”

“Yes. No.” She lowered her eyes, “of how you make me feel.”

Lucky felt that he was walking on a high wire and one wrong step would blow his world to smithereens.

“I would never knowingly hurt you,” He reached up to touch her check. She closed her eyes as his fingers traced the line of her cheekbone.

She opens her eyes and looks at him. “I...I’ve never been with a man,” she hesitates, “not since Nikolas and that wasn’t exactly a great experience. I don’t want you to be...”

He cuts her off. “You could never disappoint me. Infuriate me. Scare me. Amaze me. Enthrall me. Possess me,” Lucky punctuated eaach phrase with a gentle kiss on her face, “but never could you disappoint me,” His lips claimed hers and for the moment she was lost.

After the longest interval, Emily pulled back shakily. She loved him, but she needed to make something clear to him.

“No promises, “ she whispers her heart aching.

He nods. “No promises,” He whisperes the words like a vow against her smooth neck. “Just let me love you tonight. This moment.”

And each being careful of the other’s wounds, they made love.

Emily work sometime in the early morning hours to find herself and Lucky still entwined. For a moment, she lay still and gloried in the heat of his body and the steadiness of his heart as he slept. After a few minutes she gently disentagled herself and slipped out of the bed, pausing to put her robe back.

She stood by the bed and leaned over to give a sleeping Lucky a gentle kiss on the lips. “I love you,” she said softly.

She walked out of the bedroom intent on checking on Jonathan before rejoining Lucky. She wanted to see his face when she work up next to him in bed,

As she passed through the living room, her cell phone, sitting on the coffee table, rang.

“Hello,” she whispered quietly.

“Emily,” It was Jason’s voice.

Emily’s heart froze as her world stood still. Then it fell as her world crumbled around her.

“She’s alive, Em. She’s alive.”

Still holding the phone, Emily sank to the floor Return to main page