Secrets, Lies, and Other Acts of Love
Chapter 21: Reaching Conclusions

McKenzie, Alaska
Six months later
She should be happy, Emily thought to herself as she
maneuvered the SUV down the winding road leading from the
small cabin she and Jonathan shared to the equally small town.
Things were going pretty well, all things considered. They were
both safe. She had felt enough confidence in Jason’s ability to
make money untraceable that she had actually accessed the
account he had given her so that they weren’t living as hand to
mouth as they often had during those first few years when
Jonathan had been an infant. They hadn’t had to sleep in airport
lobbies or cardboard boxes or underneath a freeway overpass. She
had been careful with her money, careful to keep her lifestyle quiet
and nothing that would draw Helena’s attention. And she had
made some concessions to. There was a gun, small and lethal, in
her purse and an extra one in the glove compartment. Most of
their belongings were kept in the back of the Sportage a car she
had picked for its anonymity as well as its ability to go to places
like this remote Alaskan town where a stranger was spotted miles
before they arrived.
It had been a good decision to come here she thought. The
small town made her feel secure after the emptiness of the big
cities they had lived in before. They had been here for three
months, one of the longest times they had ever spent in one
location. So far it seemed relatively safe. The town locals were
mostly Native Alaskan or third or fourth generation settlers. She
and Jonathan were the first newcomers to arrive in years they had
told her. She had told them that she was a romance novelist who
was planning on using McKenzie as the background for her latest
novel. The town as a whole seemed determined to welcome her
and Jonathan. The local minister had even accepted Jonathan into
the small school he ran for the local children.
Not that everything was great. More like semi-okay than
great or even good. Ever since they had left Mexico, Jonathan
had been more quiet and reserved than Emily had ever seen him.
And he wouldn’t leave her side. He had started sleeping in a
sleeping bag on the floor of her room, sometimes leaving it and
crawling in bed with her. And he was having nightmares.
Nightmares where she was gone again. Nightmares where he was
being chased again. Nightmares where he had to kill again.
He had turned seven a month ago. Seven years old and he
had already put up with so much in his short life. Learning to cope
with a new identity and a new home every few months. Never
having the chance to make friends. At least he had Diablo.
She smiled as she thought of the German Shepard she had
bought for Jonathan. The big dog definitely made life on the run
interesting. But the dog was trained to stay with Jonathan and
protect him. He even sat outside the church when Jonathan was at
school. Truth to tell, the dog was never far from the boy’s side.
Emily slept better knowing that Jonathan had Diablo for
protection.
When she slept that is. Most nights she couldn’t sleep. She
would lay awake listening to every sound in the woods
surrounding their cabin and if it was a footstep or the sound of a
branch being stepped on. Or sometimes a gun being cocked.
And then there were the nights she would lie awake
missing Lucky.
She wanted to call him. To hear his voice. And if not him
she wanted to call Luke. Or even Jason to find out how Lucky
was. If he was okay. Did he hate her for leaving? Did he miss her
like she missed him? Did he know how hard it was for her to
make it through each day that they were apart? The only thing she
had to hold onto was her love for her son and this vague distant
hope that some day she could think of him without feeling the pain
of losing him.
Or that someday it might be possible for her and Jonathan
to return home. Would he still love her? Or would he have found
someone new? Someone he wouldn’t have to lie for? Face danger
for? Someone safe and predictable. Maybe he would even discover
that he had never loved her. That it all had been an illusion forged
in the heat of battle.
She hoped so. She truly did. She hated to think of his life
being as miserable as hers was. She wanted him to be happy. Even
if the thought of Lucky finding that kind of happiness with
someone else made her stomach twist into knots.
Emily checked her rearview mirror again and made a
careful drive around the small market twice to check it out before
she parked. Just as she was about to open the door, the cell phone
rang. She glanced at her watch and knew who it was.
“Mom?” His voice was apprehensive and mentally Emily
swore. Someday she would pay Helena pack for what she had
done to her child.
“Jonathan? Everything’s fine,” she told him. “How’s
school?”
“Fine,” Jonathan replied. “Although Reverend Smith got a
little mad at me when I tried to use Diablo’s tail as a paintbrush.”
“You what?” Emily tried to sound stern but ended up
giggling instead. “I know that Reverend Smith didn’t like it but
how did Diablo feel?”
“He doesn’t mind,” Jonathan assured her. “He likes art.”
“As long as he likes the bath you’ll give him tonight,”
Emily pointed out. “I’m at the market and going shopping.” Her
voice lowers. “Everything is fine Jonathan.”
There is a moment of silence on the other end.
“Okay, I’ll talk to you later.”

Emily stared at the cell phone after her son hung up.
Buying the phones had been a risk, but Jonathan had refused to go
to school unless he knew she was alright. Nothing she had said or
done had reassured him that the people who had taken her before
would not return. So they had comprised with the purchase of the
phones and the agreement that Jonathan could call her on the hour
every hour they were apart. If she failed to answer, the phone was
preprogrammed with Jason’s number and Jonathan had
instructions to call that number and do whatever Jason said.
It was the best she could do to keep her son safe.
She just hated having to do it.
She wanted a normal life. She wanted to be able to call her
mother up and tell her all the things that Jonathan did that day. She
wanted a chance to go to the university and learn all the things she
didn’t know. She wanted to visit her father at the clinic if he even
still operated it...she had no idea what her parents’ lives were like.
She wanted to go with Edward to lay flowers at Lila’s grave. And
she wanted, god how she wanted it, to be able to dance with
Lucky at a ball or walk with him on the docks or take him on a
picnic.
She wanted to live one day of her life without flinching at
every strange voice or having to decipher every strange sound.
But above all of this she wanted her son to be safe.
No choices, she thought to herself as she had often since
Acapulco, there are no choices.
Carefully shutting and locking the door of the vehicle she
made her way into the market.

Thirty minutes later she paid cash for her groceries and
headed back to the car. She placed the sacks on the passenger seat
next to her, turned the key, and checked the rear view mirror.
And almost died when she spotted a familiar form sitting in the
Sportage’s back seat.
“You forgot to say good bye,” Lucky said casually as he
leaned back against the backseat. “Not the best of manners but
considering I’ll have the next 50 years or so to teach you to be
more polite I’ll overlook it.” All pretense at casualness drops as he
leans forward. “Of course you know you’ll never have the need to
say goodbye to me again.”
Emily’s heart is beating so hard she is sure he can hear it.
“What are you doing here?” she finally stammers, still
keeping her face pointed straight ahead. “It’s too dangerous.
Helena could have followed you.”
Lucky shakes his head. “I’ve been watching you for a week
or so. No sign of Helena’s cronies anywhere. Last time I checked
with Jason, Helena was still in Greece recuperating. At the
moment, both she and her organization are trying to recover from
the damage we inflicted in Mexico. I think your safe.”
“You think were safe?” Emily is beginning to recover and
she is surprised at the intensity of her anger. “Until five minutes
ago I knew that we were safe.”
“Did you?” They are both silent. “Look, this isn’t the
place for this conversation. I know Jonathan is at school so why
don’t we go back to your cabin and talk.”
Emily is silent, her mind racing. Lucky is here. Lucky.
Lucky has been watching them. She had no clue that he was
watching him. What if it had been Helena or her men watching
them? And she didn’t know it. She pales suddenly at the thought.
Lucky swears silently, her thoughts are so transparent he
can read them. “You would have spotted them. You know it. You
always had in the past. I’m better than her men. Just because you
didn’t know I was here doesn’t mean you wouldn’t have caught
them. Come on, let’s go.”
Feeling as if she is in a dream, Emily puts the car into gear
and starts to drive.

She looks like hell, Lucky thinks to himself as he watches
her drive. And so incredibly beautiful. She is thinner than he
remembers and the circles under her eyes tell him she isn’t
sleeping. But her eyes are still incredibly beautiful and the look in
those eyes when she had spotted him, as quickly as it had
disappeared, had made his heart soar.
She loves him. Now all he has to do is convince her to let
him love her.
The Sportage pulls up next to a cabin. Without saying a
word, Emily heads into the cabin with Lucky behind her. She
grabs a bag from the closet.
“What do you think you are doing?” Lucky says.
“Packing. Leaving, What else?” Emily heads to the smaller
of the two rooms and grabs some of Jonathan’s stuff. “If you
found us, Helena can find us. You stay here, I’ll call the town
when Jonathan and I are both safe and have them send someone
for you. You could try walking, but this is Alaska and I wouldn’t
recommend it.”

“Is that how you solve all your problems? By running
away?”
Emily looks at Lucky with a hurt expression on her face.
“That isn’t fair.”
“Nothing about this is fair. Not to you. Not to me. Not to
Jonathan,” Lucky takes the bag out of her hands. “I love you
Emily. I let you leave me once. I’m not letting you walk out on me
again. Not when I’m awake and can do something about it.” He
can’t keep the tinge of bitterness out of his voice.
Emily bites her lip. There is a tremendous relief to learn
that he does still love her, but there is also a tremendous fear at
what the consequences of that love will be for him.
“I had to leave,” she tries to explain in a halting voice,
remembering the anguish of that early morning in Mexico. “I had
to keep my son safe. I couldn’t say goodbye to you.”
“Why not?” Lucky demands. “ We made love that night. I
told you that I love you. You came to me. It was like being given
everything I wanted- you, safe, in my arms, Jonathan asleep
downstairs. And when I woke up it was all gone. You left without
saying a word to me. You said goodbye to my father. To your
brother. Why the hell couldn’t you say goodbye to me?’
“Because I love you,” Emily can feel her control breaking.
“I couldn’t say goodbye to you. I couldn’t look at you and leave
you. I was afraid that if I said goodbye I would end up begging
you to come with me. Or agreeing to stay. I couldn’t do either
one. So I took the coward’s way out and left.”
Lucky comes up behind her and turns her so that she is in
his arms. He can inhale her scent and feel the softness of her body.
This is home, he thinks but merely says, “I get why you couldn’t
return to Port Charles. God knows I would never do anything to
put you or Jonathan in danger, but what would be so wrong with
asking me to go with you?”
Emily shakes her head and pulls out of his embrace. “I
couldn’t do that to you. Make you give up your home, your
family, your job, everything in your life that you value.” She
lowers her eyes. “I know how hard that is, how much it hurts, I
couldn’t do that to someone I love.”
She doesn’t look up and so doesn’t see the smile on his
face. That is the second time she has said that she loves him.
“And I couldn’t let you lie for me. I remember how torn up
you were when you discovered how your parents lied to you. I
know how much you value honesty. You and Liz never lied to
each other. How could I let you live a life that would be one big
lie? Not only would you have to lie about who you were, you
would have to keep the biggest secret of all- that Jonathan is
Nikolas’ son. Every day that went by would be one more day
where you couldn’t pick up the phone and tell your brother that
he has a son or your mother that she has a grandchild. And each
day I would have to see how much that lie tore into you and until
you finally started hating me and Jonathan for forcing you to tell
it.” She closes her eyes wearily as she sits down on the small
couch. “I can learn to live without your love but I could never live
with your hatred.”
“I can’t.” Lucky says as he sits next to her. “Live without
your love,” he explains at her puzzled look. “I should know. I’ve
tried hard enough. But I can’t. I can live without many things- the
penthouse, my work for Jax. And as hard as it is to think about, I
can even live without my family. The one thing I cannot live
without is you. “ He stares into her eyes and after a moment she
looks away. “You’re right,” he continues. “I hate to tell lies. But I
love you. And I love Jonathan. And I’ve grown up some over the
last ten years. Over the last seven months since I saw you at Lila’s
funeral. There are some things worth lying for .” He reaches over
and grabs Emily’s hand. “I would kill for you Emily Quartermaine.
I would die to protect you. For you, and for Jonathan, I will tell
whatever lie I need to tell to whoever needs to hear it. I will keep
whatever secret that needs keeping. And someday, if we can, I’ll
be by your side when you tell Jonathan the truth. I will do
whatever I need to do if it means I can hold you when you are
scared and make love to you before I fall asleep. I will do all of
that because I will never stop loving you.”
She can feel the tears streaming down her face. “I can’t let
you do this. It’s too dangerous.” She tries to protest, tries to
remember all the reasons this is wrong when all she wants to do is
melt into his embrace.
Lucky laughs, a soft gentle laugh as he pulls her close.
“You are not God, Emily,” he surprises her with light but
intense kiss. “Just my goddess. You don’t get to make this
decision for me. As far as I’m concerned it’s a done deal. I’ve said
good bye and cut my ties in Port Charles. My life is with you. And
with Jonathan. For however long we are given. The only danger in
loving you is being without you. Helena and her goons don’t scare
me as much as the thought of having to walk out of this cabin
without you scares me.”
Just then, the cell phone rings.
“Jonathan?” Emily answers it in a shaky voice.
“Mom, what’s wrong?” Jonathan can hear the tension in
her voice. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” Emily forces her voice to some resemblance of
normalcy.
“Mom,” Jonathan persists. Lucky reaches over and takes
the phone out of Emily’s unresisting hands.
“Jonathan.” Lucky says. “Everything really is okay. Your
mom is just surprised to see me.”
“Lucky?” Jonathan’s voice rises with excitement. “You’re
back? Wait till you meet my dog. He can pull my sled up the hill by
himself. I’ve missed you so much. How long are you staying?
“Slow down,” Lucky smiles into the phone. “Your mom
and I will pick you up in a while and we can catch up then. I don’t
know how long I will be staying. Your mom and I are in the
middle of negotiations as we speak.”
By the time Lucky had hung up the phone, Emily had
regained some control. “This won’t work.”
“What you and me and Jonathan being a family? I’d say it
works perfectly.”
“Helena will find us.” Emily shivers involuntarily.
“Maybe, some day. I won’t lie to you. We’ll be as careful
as we can be. But there are no guarantees.” He grabs an afghan
from the couch and puts it around her shoulders. “Jason and my
father are working on it from their end. I pray that someday this
nightmare you’ve been living in will be over. Emily,” he wraps his
arms around her and she leans back into him. “I can’t promise you
that everything will be all right. All I really know is that when we
are together everything is so much better than it is when we are
apart. Even when we were captives in that damned cell of
Helena’s, having you there, being able to touch you, made
everything okay. Let me love you Emily. Let me love your son.
Give yourself permission to be happy.” His voice is a gentle caress
on the back of her neck. “I know you feel like you have to do this
alone but you don’t have to. You don’t have to be brave and try to
send me away. It won’t work. I’m not going. My place is with
you. Whatever the circumstances. Whatever the future brings. We
belong together. We deserve to be happy. We’ve earned it. Life
has given us a second chance at love and we’d be fools if we let
Helena Cassadine take it away from us.”
“I have to keep Jonathan safe.” The words are slightly
above a whisper. Lucky shakes his head.
“We have to keep Jonathan safe,” He corrects her. “ And
we will. For as long as we can. And we’ll teach him how to take
care of himself. We’ll teach him how to be a good and brave and
loving person just like his mother so that he can make his own
choices and live his own life. I love Jonathan. At first I loved him
because he was a part of you. But now I love him because of who
he is. In my heart where it counts he’s my son.”
“He’s your nephew.” Emily’s voice is breaking along with
her resolve.
“I know. Someday we’ll tell him the truth. He’s seen the
evil for himself. He’ll understand all that we have to do to keep
him safe.”
“I hope so.”
Silence reigns in the small cabin but neither Lucky nor
Emily move. Finally, Emily turns in his arms to look at him, her
eyes dark and somber, her mood pensive.
“Are you sure?” She searches his face as she asks the
question looking for any sign of hesitation. Of doubt. There is
none. All she can see is love. And need. And desire.
“Yes,” he answers simply.
Emily turns away again, trying to hide from the raw
emotion she saw in his face. After a moment, she turns back to
him. “You’re right. I can do this alone but I don’t want to. I can’t
stop loving you either. I don’t know that this is the right decision,
but I can’t walk away from you. I love you. If you are sure this
what you want then I am too.”
“Thank God,” he whispers as he pulls her close. “You have
no idea what kind of hell my life has been since you left it.” He
reaches down and presses their lips together, deepening the kiss,
until they both break contact, shaky and breathing huskily.
“My life has been pretty hellish without you too,” she
whispers into his shoulder.
“Then let’s go create our own corner of heaven,” He
whispers back as his kisses her neck and ear. “I’ve missed touching
you like this. I want to make love to you. I want you to make love
to me. I want to be complete again in you.”
“Me too,” she whispers and after a few moments she leads
him into the small bedroom.

A long time later.
“I almost forgot.” Lucky says as he holds Emily against
him. They are both naked with only a light blanket and their body
warmth to keep each other warm. They had called Jonathan to let
him know when they were picking him and Diablo up. They really
should be getting up and dressed Emily thought but made no move
to do either. “Jason would kill me if I didn’t give this to you,”
Lucky gets up and heads to the living room to get Emily’s present.
He is back in a second with a package and climbs back under the
covers.
“You’re cold,” Emily protests as he pulls her back into his
arms.
“It’s cold out there,” Lucky shrugs. “Our next hiding place
will be someplace with a warm and tropical climate.” He hands her
the package. “Jason made me promise to give this to you when I
found you. It was nicely wrapped but since I’ve been dragging it
with me for six months as I track you down......”
“It’s beautiful,” Emily sits up and touches the wrapping.
She can feel the tears coming again. “It’s the first present anyone
has given me since.....”
Her voice trails off. Lucky makes himself a promise that
Emily’s life will be filled with presents. “Open it.” he whispers.
Carefully, she does so. And then stops. “Oh my god.” She
is crying in earnest now.
Lucky looks over, curious as to what Jason could have
given her that would make her so emotional.
It’s a gold frame with a picture inside. Not just any picture,
but a picture of her family. All of them. Emily touches each figure.
She doesn’t know how Jason did this, but she knows that she will
be forever grateful. She didn’t know how much she needed to see
them again, even if it was just like this. Alan and Monica look so
much older than she remembers, but she likes the way they are
leaning next to each other and their hands touch.
Grandfather....she can still see the pain in his eyes from losing Lila
but the fighting spirit is back at least in a limited way. Reginald is
in the picture too, looking a little lost without Lila to care for. The
two men seem bonded in their grief over the woman they both
care for. She can see AJ, with Michael standing next to him.
Michael is almost taller than his father. The two of them are
standing close together and Emily smiles when she sees Jason in
the picture, standing on the other side of AJ. Brother by brother.
Even Ned is in the picture with a young teenage girl.
She looks up at Lucky. “Is that Brook Lynn?”
Lucky nods.
“He gave me my family back. He knew that I couldn’t be
with them so he figured out a way that they could be with me” She
puts the picture down gently and reaches for Lucky, needing him
close as she begins to cry.
Lucky says nothing, but his hold on her never loosens and
his hands gently stroke her hair.
“It’s going to be okay, isn’t it?” Lucky nods. For the first
time in seven years Emily lets herself hope that maybe someday
she will be able to go home, really go home again. That someday
the running and the hiding and the lying will be able to stop. That
the people she loves, especially Lucky and Jonathan, will be safe
and happy. She doesn’t know when or how long it will take them
to reach it, but she can finally begin to see the light at the end of
the tunnel. And all because of this man. “I love you,” she tells him.
“I love you too. Whatever the future holds, the three of us
will face it together.”
“I love that word” she kisses his shoulder as her fingers
trail down his arm.
“What word?”
“Together.”
“Me too.” And they make love one more time before
taking their stuff, loading it into the SUV, picking up Jonathan and
Diablo, and heading toward the future. A future that would be far
from easy but that they would always face together.