Lucky Spencer stood outside the nursery and silently watched his young daughter lying in her crib, her brown eyes seemed to smile as she took in the world around her. He smiled back at her, hoping she liked this room better than the neonatal unit where she had spent the first few months of her life. She was born by C-Section, months premature and most of the doctors had written her off. Her lungs were only partially developed and she’d been plagued by one infection or fever after another. But she was her mother’s daughter and she’d hung in there, slowly gaining weight and strength with every day. The doctors told him to expect complications as she grew older, but Lucky knew in his heart that as long as she grew older they could handle everything and anything else.

“She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” Nikolas came to stand beside his brother and admire his niece. He remembered the first time he had held her, she had almost fit in the palm of his hand. Now she was six pounds, 11 ounces. A few more pounds and Lucky could take her home.

“She has her mother’s eyes,” Lucky whispered softly before turning his attention to Nikolas. “Where’s Jonathan?”

Since Helena’s death and Lucky’s return from the dead at her funeral, Nikolas and Lucky had worked hard at working things out for Jonathan’s sake. Jonathan would spend two evenings a week at Wyndemere after school and had even stayed over last week so that he and Stephanie could spend the day learning how to windsurf on the river. While Jonathan would always consider Lucky to be his father, he was slowly getting closer to his “Uncle Nikolas.”

“He went to say hi to Ruby.” Nikolas replied.

Lucky smiled. Following her adventures searching for information on the late and totally unlamented and not to mention totally fake Helena Cassadine, Luke had decided that volunteering in the pediatrics unit at GH would help Ruby focus some of her energy. Funny how after a conversation with Luke, AJ had decided that Michael needed to be more involved with the community also. Lucky just hoped GH could manage to stay intact after the cousins were done with it. Maybe he’d have to start checking Mercy out just in case.

He looked up at Nikolas. “How are you?”

Nikolas shrugged. Discovering that Helena had been responsible for Kim’s and his son’s death had sent him into a tailspin. His grandmother had killed not only his father, but his wife and son. There were days when he wished that Luke hadn’t killed her just so he could have had that privilege. Alexis and Jerry had returned from Australia and between the two of them they had managed to reintegrate most of the Cassadine Empire back together, closed down Helena’s illegal holdings, and keep the stock from plummeting too far. Now he found himself using his spare time to research the Cassadine family tree. It was important to him that both of his children realize there was more to the Cassadine name than the evil that Mikkos, Stavros, and Helena had tarnished it with. He realized that Jonathan would probably want to legally change his name to Spencer and truth to tell that didn’t bother him as much as it once had, but he still wanted Stephanie and Jonathan to be proud of their Cassadine heritage. So he was working hard to find them someone, other than their grandfather Stefan, to be proud of. “I’m fine, although I have to confess that I can’t wait for Luke and Laura to get back from that dude ranch in Colorado next week. Raising a teenager and a preteen under the same roof is enough to drive me crazy. I’m just glad Lu’s back at college.”

“I still can’t believe Dad taking Mom to a dude ranch for their third honeymoon. I would have thought Mom would want to go the Caribbean or something.”

Nikolas shrugged. “I offered Luke the use of a villa on St. Thomas, but he said something about wanting to be away from bodies of water on this trip.” Nikolas hesitated. “It’s hard to believe that its been more than two months. Not that you would know it by the tabloids and the media still hanging around. Jonathan, tells me Sly picked up some kind of award for the series he did on the whole thing. He also said Sly wanted you to fly to London to be there when he got his award.”

“Yeah. But I told him I couldn’t leave her.”

Nikolas nodded. “She has Emily’s smile. Your nose unfortunately, but Emily’s smile.”

Lucky smiled. “Poor little thing. She has Spencer and Quartermaine blood running through her. I wonder what her life will be like.”

“Nothing if not interesting. My guess is that Edward is already making plans for her to be CEO of ELQ someday.”

Lucky grinned and pointed to the embroidered blanket in the crib. “Look close.” He told his brother.

Nikolas looked close and began to laugh. “He didn’t?’

Lucky nodded. “He did.”

The baby’s blanket, a gift from Luke, had carefully been embroidered with the Spencer Rules mixed in with the flowers and butterflies.

Nikolas looked at his brother. “I don’t suppose this is the right time to tell you about the trust fund I had my lawyers set up for her last week.”

“Just tell me it doesn’t involve any Greek Islands and I might be able to get Dad to accept it.”

The two brothers were laughing quietly when Jonathan walked up to them, smiling when he heard his father laughing. “Dad, I’m ready.”

“So Ruby’s shift is finished?” At Jonathan’s nod, Nikolas continues. “I guess that means I’ll give her a lift to the launch. I’ll see you soon, Lucky. Call me if you need anything.” He stopped halfway down the corridor. “She is beautiful you know.”

Lucky waved goodbye and turned back to staring at his infant daughter. God he wanted to take her home. He wanted her to fall asleep in her own crib, in her own room. He’d sing her to sleep and make sure she only had pleasant dreams.

“Dad?”

“I just realized,” Lucky turned and put his arm around his son as they both stood and smiled at the baby. “that’s she’s going to grow up in a world where Helena Cassadine doesn’t exist.”

Jonathan breathed a deep sigh. “It sounds too good to be true.” He looked over at his father, a shadowed expression in his brown eyes, so like his infant sisters. “Do you ever wish you had?”

“Sometimes. But not often. If there had been no Helena Cassadine or Maria Kanekedes than you wouldn’t have existed, you know. The idea of not having you in my life is something I don’t even want to think about. And the truth is that Helena’s vendetta against your mother brought your mom back into my life and gave us the chance to fall in love again. That’s another thing I would never want to change, loving your mom. So to answer your question, life may have been simpler without Helena Cassadine in it, but I have a feeling I would be a lot lonelier than I am at this moment.”

“I love you dad.”

“I love you too son.” Lucky said with an affectionate hug. “Just like I love your sister.”

“Paige Morgan Lila Spencer,” Jonathan said softly. “It’s almost too big for her.”

“She’ll grow into it,” a soft voice behind them whispered as Emily walked into her husband’s embrace. “Just give her a little time to get used to it. It’s been a pretty scary world for her these last few months in the hospital.”

“I don’t think she’s scared,” Jonathan beams at his mother.

“You don’t?” Emily smiles at her son, thanking God once again for letting them be here, all four of them, a family. Her family.

“I think she’s quiet because she’s planning something.”

“Now that I believe,” Lucky said with a laugh as he pulled Emily closer, briefly nuzzling the silken strands of her hair. “How was Monica?”

Emily’s expression turned sad. “Hurting. We all are.”

Lucky nodded solemnly. “What did Monica say about your health?”

Emily sighed. “I can’t climb Mt. Everest and I’ll never compete in the Tour De France, but I should be able to handle day in and day out stuff. Normal life. And I think she meant normal normal, not Spencer normal or even Quartermaine normal.”

Lucky nodded. Normal normal. He could handle that. He could handle anything as long as she was with him, by his side. Loving him. He could still remember in vivid detail what it had been like to hold her lifeless body in his hand, to see Monica and Alan work frantically for over ten minutes to get her heart breathing again. The chopper to GH was a nightmare he was trying hard to forget. Emily’s chances had been close to nil and the baby’s less than that. But they were both here and he knew that he had been given a miracle the likes of which few men had ever been blessed with. The damage to her heart had been extensive, but the virus had been killed and that was all that counted. If Emily some times got tired after walking for a long distance, he was more than willing to sit quietly by her side. Another pregnancy was out of the question and after talking to Emily, Lucky had already taken steps to ensure that it wouldn’t happen. If some day Emily decided that she wanted more children, they’d check into adoption. He wasn’t risking her life again for anything, these last few months had been like walking a high wire and after getting to the other side without falling, Lucky was determined to never get up on that wire again. He’d work for Jax, he’d pay his bills, he’d take his daughter to play dates and his son fishing, and he’d spend each night of the rest of his life making love to his beautiful wife.

“It won’t work,” Emily whispered playfully as she returned Lucky’s kiss as Jonathan groaned something about grown ups getting mushy and turned his attention back to his little sister.

“What won’t?”

“You trying to live a normal life.” Emily teased her husband. “My guess is that will take less than six months before those Spencer genes kick in. It’s okay Lucky, Mom said I had to exercise caution not become boring.”

“For your information I don’t plan on living a normal life,” Lucky leaned over and kissed her, a long and hard kiss that left her breathless. “I have a wife who I adore more than I can ever tell her with words, an incredible son who makes me proud to be his father, and a beautiful daughter who’s already proven that she is as brave and courageous as her mother. My life isn’t normal, my life is extraordinary. I am probably one of the few people on this planet who would not change a thing even if they could.”

“I love you Lucky Spencer,” Emily didn’t bother fighting back the tears glistening in her eyes. “From that first minute when I looked up and saw you at Lila’s funeral, I’ve loved you. Heart and soul. Always.”

“Me too,” Lucky kissed the tips of her fingertips. “One minute I was feeling so alone and so lost and then you were there. You don’t just complete my world, you and our children are my world.”

Without a word Emily leaned against her husband and felt his strong arms go around her. For all that she had suffered and hurt over the years, this moment made every other moment that went before it somehow worth it.

Jonathan smile at his parent’s embrace turned into a frown as it continued on minute after minute after minute. He contemplated trying to break them apart and remind them of their promise to take him to Kelly’s for ice cream, but decided not to. Instead he turned to his little sister who seemed to be staring at him with her huge eyes through the glass.

“I know. They do this kind of stuff all the time. It’s a little embarrassing at first, but you’ll get used to it. Grandpa Luke says its part of being a Spencer but I caught Grandpa Alan and Grandma Monica at it in the Gazebo last week, so I think its part of being a Quartermaine too. I think you’re going to like being part of this family. You’re lucky you know. You have grandparents, uncles, cousins. This whole huge family. They’re my family too, but I’ve only had them recently. You get them from the beginning. Wait until Christmas comes and they’ll be so many people. But don’t worry. I’ll make you a chart to tell you who’s who and everyone will bring you a present so that’s pretty cool.” Paige seemed to smile at her big brother and her eyebrows seemed to lift and Jonathan grinned back. “I was right. You are planning something.” Jonathan’s grin grew even wider. “I can’t wait to find out what it is.”

A few weeks later

Maxie stood in front of the headstone and tried to fight back the tears that threatened to fall. It was early morning, just past dawn, and the gray mist seemed to hang like a blanket over everything. She was dressed in denim jeans and a black sweatshirt, her blonde hair pulled back in a simple ponytail. After a moment of silence, she bent to kneel in front of the headstone.

Even after almost three months and visiting almost daily, it was still hard for her to understand that he was gone. She can still remember kneeling beside him as he closed his eyes and slipped into that coma. He had never regained consciousness and two days later he had died at GH. He’d died saving her. He loved her enough to die for her. Now she had to prove that she loved him enough to live for him. God it was hard. Every time she closed her eyes she could see him lying there on the marble floor, the blood spreading everywhere. But she could also see the love in his eyes and hear it in his voice as he whispered to her. Jason Morgan had died loving her. The knowledge was incredibly bittersweet. She had known that they could never be together but she had never thought of living in a world that he didn’t live in. She wonders if the day will ever come when she can think of his love and not feel the pain of losing him. She doubts it. She tries to control her tears as she begins.

“Your niece goes home from the hospital today Jason. You should see Lucky and Emily. I think they are floating on air. And Jonathan. He’s so excited and its so sweet to see. She’s so precious. I think she has your nose. They named her Paige Morgan Lila Spencer. Did I tell you that I’m her godmother? I’m going to spoil her rotten and let poor Emily and Lucky pick up the pieces.”

“Everyone misses you so much. You probably won’t believe this but the Quartermaines are actually sticking together, even Ned. AJ has been great with Michael. You should have seen Michael at your funeral, giving the eulogy. He’s all grown up Jason and he’s happy. And he’s his own man. Everything you wanted him to be. The words he said they were beautiful. He loved you. They all loved you. AJ. Alan. Monica. Ned Even Edward. Monica told me once that she thought that God gave them back Emily but took you and she didn’t think it was a fair exchange. I bet you did, though. I bet seeing Emily with her family makes you happy. Sometimes when I’m with Paige I can feel your presence watching her. You probably make a formidable guardian angel. I just hope you watch over our child as well as you watch over Emily’s.”

Maxie smiled softly. “That’s right. I’m pregnant. I haven’t told anyone yet. I couldn’t believe it at first, we were so careful in New York.” Maxie’s laugh ended on a sob. “I guess we weren’t careful enough. I’m glad I’m pregnant though. It makes me feel like I haven’t lost you completely. The thought that soon there will be a child that will be part you and part me, I can’t tell you how that makes me feel. Your child Jason. From our love. You have no idea how much that means to me.”

“I haven’t figured out yet what I’m going to do. I want to go back to work, but with a child to think about, I don’t know if that’s a good idea. If I stay in Port Charles...I don’t know. Staying here is both heaven and hell. It’s where I feel your presence the most and your absence the sharpest. It took three weeks before I could go to Wyndemere without breaking down. But my family is here and these last two months have taught me how important family is. I want my child to know both of the families it comes from. So I’ll probably stay.”

Maxie hesitated. “I guess you know that I’m spending a lot of time with Nikolas. I just want you to know that Nikolas and I are just friends. You kept telling me to go on with my life and I know you want me to be happy, but I can’t forget about you . Not yet. I miss you. I miss your touch. I miss your smile. I even miss your arrogance. The idea of being close to someone else when you are all I can think of...I can’t do it. Nik is a great guy and maybe I could have fallen in love with him if there had never been a you, but there was a you and I can’t pretend otherwise. I love you still Jason. I think I always will. Maybe some day I’ll be able to think about the possibility of loving someone else. But not now. Not for a long time. Maybe not ever.”

“I’m trying really hard to be strong but it’s so hard to wake up in the morning when I know that you won’t be there. Can’t be there. Will never be there. At least before I had, I don’t know, hope that someday things would work out. Now all I have is this cold feeling inside of me that I’m trying really hard to fight.”

“I miss you. I love you. Nothing is going to change that. But I have to try somehow to be okay for your child’s sake. And I will be. This child was your final gift to me and I promise to take care of him or her and to protect them always. Just like I know you would.”

“I love you.”

There is no answer, just the echoing stillness of the cemetery broken by Maxie’s cries.

At the edge of the cemetery two figures watch the tableau playing out in front of them in silence.

Finally the first figure moves only to be held back in a tight grip by the second.

“You can’t.”

“How can I not?”

“If you love her you won’t. Not now.”

Silence again. “God this is hard.”

“Did you expect it to be easy?”

“No.”

“Then trust me.”

“There is no other way.” It’s said hopefully, like a question.

“There never was.”

“How do I walk away when she’s in so much pain?”

“You do it thanking God she is alive to feel that pain.”

The first figure looks back at the young woman holding on to the headstone.

“I’ll make it up to you someday.” The words are a vow that hang in the air.

“Maybe. Maybe not. But if you want even the possibility of that chance, we need to leave.”

“She’ll be okay, won’t she?”

“She’ll be alive.” The older man relents at the younger man’s expression. “She has family and friends to stand by her.”

“I can’t live in her world and she can’t live in mine.” The younger man shivers in the cold air. “God please let what I am about to do create a world where eventually we can be together.” The words hang in the air like a benediction during Sunday mass.

“Come on. There are people you need to talk to and people who need to talk to you.”

The younger man looks back once before following the older man into the waiting limo.

Frisco Jones takes one last look at his daughter, hopes that he has made the right decision, and then gives the driver his directions. The End