Author's Note:
This is what happens when you take a note pad with you to sit in the sun and can't get this
song out of your head. Hope you like it.
This story does not in any way fit in with either of my other fanfics. It's a totally separate and
brave new world....Let me know what you think.
Thanks,
Olivia



Look into my eyes
You will see, what you mean to me
Search your heart, search your soul
When you find me, then you’ll search no more

August 2002

“Robin...Robin...Come on love you’re scaring me...The
doctors removed the bullet..It was messy but the damage
wasn’t as bad as it looked...God you scared me...I thought...I
guess it doesn’t matter what I thought....Just open your eyes
babe, please...”

She could have she supposed. If she tried hard enough.
The pain in her side and in her shoulder was bad but, thanks to
the medication she imagined was coming through the IV
hooked to her arm, tolerable. She had definitely been through
worse. Emotionally and physically.

Nor the reason for keeping her eyes closed had nothing
whatsoever to do with her physical injuries. It had everything
to do with him.

She knew what her getting shot meant. It meant things
changed. The easy partnership of the last few years, in bed and
out of it, was going to be disrupted. She could almost predict
what he was going to say. Something about not wanting to risk
her life. Something about how dangerous his occupation was.
Something about how he loved her too much to see her get
hurt again. How many times had she heard that speech?

All the while ignoring the fact that the pain his words
were creating in her was far worse than any pain a bullet could
create.

Why did the men in her life insist on treating her like
she was made of china? As if she would shatter at the slightest
touch? She was the Robin who needed to be protected. Poor
Robin who needed to be sheltered. Saint Robin who never did
anything wrong. Mac. Sonny. Jason. They had built her
pedestal so high that when she finally fell off of it she had
disintegrated into a million tiny pieces.

Then he had come and began the painstaking process
of putting the pieces back together. She had no idea what she
would have done if she had not run into him when she stepped
off that plane in Paris after leaving Port Charles behind. He had
taken one look at her and quietly gone about helping her put
her life back together. First he had given her a job. One she
had never thought of, but should have really. She was good at
it. A natural. The only one who had been surprised by her
ability had been her. Her strength had surprised her. Her
confidence. Her quick thinking. Her intelligence. All of these
things had made her good at what she did. At 23, one of the
best.

It had been a revelation. To be valued for something
other than her illness or the
tragedies of her past. To be seen as someone other than a
victim.

God, he had given her so much over the last three
years. He had given her back the Robin she had lost in the
mess and confusion that had become her relationship with
Jason. He had given her a purpose in her life that wasn’t
defined by anyone else other than herself. And he had given her
love. They had never actually used the words, but the bond
between them was strong. They had been lovers emotionally
long before they were lovers physically.

And now because she made one stupid mistake in that
warehouse where they were tracking the shipment of heroin
from Columbia she was about to lose all of that.

Unless this time she fought.

“Come on Scorpio...I’m getting a little tired of sitting
here waiting for you to wake up and smell the roses...or
considering the fact that this is Los Angeles the smog...” The
smooth voice drops an octave. “Then again maybe you should
just stay asleep...the nurse they’ve got assigned to you is pretty
sexy all things considered and with you out of the picture..”

Robin’s eyes flew open.

“I’d be careful if I were you,” Robin’s voice cracked as
she whispered the words. “I am a fully trained WSB agent.
We’re dangerous to mess with.”

From his position by her bed, Frisco Jones breathed a
deep sigh of relief .


Don’t tell me, it’s not worth trying for
You can’t tell me it’s not worth dying for
You know it’s true, everything I do I do it for you


Two days later, Frisco sat pensively in the hospital
chapel, letting the quiet serene coolness wash over him. He
was here to take Robin home, back to the apartment that for
all intents and purposes these days they shared. When she was
there, surrounded by the things that gave her comfort and
strength, he was going to break off their partnership. Both
personal and professional. It was going to be one of the
hardest things he had ever done in his life.

When had she become so important to him? Was it
during those first few months when she used to cry herself to
sleep over Jason and he had quietly vowed that never again
would Morgan be allowed to hurt her? Was it the first time she
had to kill someone during a case they had been investigating?
He could still remember her shock and how she had dropped
the gun while it still smoked. She had saved his life that day.
And it all had cost her was a tiny bit of her soul. Or maybe it
was the day when his close friend Robert had introduced him
to this young girl with dark hair and big eyes and asked him to
look after her?

Yeah, wherever Robert and Anna were they had to be
able to see for themselves the fine job he had done looking
after Robin. First he let her join the WSB instead of continuing
her studies for medical school. Hell, he was the only one who
knew that Robin was an agent. She still had her calls to Mac
routed through New Haven with the help of the WSB. As far
as Mac Scorpio was concerned his daughter was a straight A
student at Yale about to enter medical school.

Mac Scorpion never knew that his niece was one of
the WSB’s best agents and sleeping with his wife’s
ex-husband.

Robin had inherited so much from her parents,
Robert’s intellect and Anna’s cunning. She spoke three
languages, knew her way around computers, and had the best
score on the target range next to his own. She seemed so
comfortable behind the badge that sometimes he wondered
why he had tried talking her out of it.

Then he would remember. And he would remember her
reply.
“I know its dangerous,” she looked at him with that
direct stare that seemed to see into his soul. “I lost both my
parents to this business. But if I’ve learned anything about
from this mess with Jason, it is that I have to do what makes
me happy. Wearing this badge, solving cases, it makes me feel
alive in a way that sitting in a classroom studying diagrams of
the human body doesn’t.”

And he had given in. Given in because after a decade of
living and working alone, Frisco had discovered that he liked
working with a partner. He enjoyed Robin’s company. She saw
things when they were investigating a case that he missed. She
asked questions that never occurred to him. And in the long
quiet hours spent staking out one suspect or another, she was
someone to talk to. Someone to share his dreams with.

Someone to fall in love with. He still didn’t know when
or where or how it had happened. But it had. He knew the
reasons they could never be together. The danger of the
business they were in. The difference in their ages. The
tangledness of their relations. He knew all of this in the light of
the day.

But in the cover of the night. When she was just Robin
and he was just Frisco. When there was no past or future, just
the warmth of the present. Then it was hard to remember all of
the reasons why they couldn’t be together. It was hard to
remember a time when they weren’t together. Even her HIV
status wasn’t important. They took precautions. He got tested.
They worked around it.

But this. Her getting shot. This they couldn’t work
around. This he couldn’t handle.
He was about to break her heart. He knew that. What
he had not realized until this moment was how much he was
going to destroy his own.

Don’t tell me, it’s not worth trying for
You can’t tell me it’s not worth dying for
You know it’s true everything I do I do it for you


Robin waited until he had put her overnight bag down.
Her shoulder was throbbing where they had had to remove the
bullet. Her side, where the second bullet had grazed her, was
beginning to ache. She wanted nothing more than to take some
painkillers, go into the bedroom, and sleep for the next twelve
hours.

Scratch that. She wanted nothing more than to take
some painkillers, go into the bedroom, and sleep for the next
twelve hours with this man holding her.

She had a feeling it was going to be a long time until
either wish came true.

She looked at the man she had once considered an
honory “uncle”. then a friend, and now a lover. “You might as
well get it over with,” she said wearily as she sat down in
the leather recliner.

“Get what over with?” he watched her carefully,
noticing the pale color in her cheeks. Maybe this should wait
until she was stronger. Three or four months. He sighed. If he
postponed it now he would postpone it forever.

“The speech,” she looked at him. “The one you’ve been
practicing over and over in your head the entire hour we were
stuck in traffic. The one where you break up with me for my
own good because you want to protect me from the dangers of
life.”

“Robin...” Frisco is at a loss for words.

“You know, what people like you and Mac and Jason
don’t get is that I don’t want to be protected from life. I want
to live it. I thought, I really really thought, that you understood
that even if no one else did.” She looks at him measuringly.
“How long have we been partners?”

“Three years.”

“And in that three year time how many times have you
been shot at? Wounded? Hurt? How many times have I been
the one sitting by the hospital bed waiting for you to wake up?
Did I ever tell you to quit doing the job you loved? Did I ever
tell you our being lovers was too dangerous for you? Did I
ever once treat you like a child who couldn’t make his own
mind about what he wanted to do with his life?” Robin is not
sure if the tears are from the emotion that has been building up
since she woke up from the hospital or from the pain that is
blurring her sight. Maybe its a combination of both.

“Robin, I didn’t mean to..” Frisco begins.
Robin shakes her head and then wishes she hadn’t as
the pain increases. “I’m 24 Frisco. 24. I’ve been an adult now
for 6 years. Some people would tell you that I’ve been adult
longer than that. I make my own choices. I chose this work. I
may have been genetically disposed to it, but I chose it for
myself. You can leave me or I can leave you, but I’m not
leaving the WSB. As for my relationship with you, I walked
into that with my eyes wide open too. For God’s sake Frisco,
my uncle is married to your ex-wife. In some ways, I think I
know you better than you know yourself. We can call it quits
today, here and now, that’s fine. I’ll hurt and I’ll hurt badly.
But I’ll survive. I might even fall in love again, someday. But I
won’t love them like I loved you because I will never love
anybody the way I love you.”

“Robin you’ve never said...” Frisco is stunned.
Robin gives a wry smile. “I know. We’ve never said it.
Funny, but in so many ways I’ve been closer to you than I was
ever close to Jason or even Stone. But saying I love you to
them was so much easier. Maybe because I knew they wanted
to hear it. And I know you don’t. You love me Frisco. I know
it. I can feel it in your eyes, in your touch, and in just about
everything you do. But you don’t want to. Because love
complicates your world. How can Frisco the loner, the guy
who gave up a beautiful wife and two beautiful daughters to
battle evil and save the world fall in love? And how could he
possibly justify to himself falling in love with someone who is
fifteen years his junior and he has known all his life? Did you
often wonder how you would justify your feelings to my father
and mother?”

Frisco looks startled and Robin smiles tiredly at him.
“You’re not that hard to read. You’re actually kind of
predictable.” Robin stands up, suddenly she wants nothing
more than for this conversation, this entire day to be over
with. “I guess I saved you the speech. It’s okay, I know you
would have been emotional and sincere. We’ll just pretend you
said it. If you don’t mind- I’m tired. I want to go to sleep. I’m
out of commission for three weeks anyway at least with this
shoulder. Maybe I’ll take a vacation. That will give you
enough time to either find a new partner or explain to the suits
at the agency why you don’t need one. Either way, I’m sure
you will survive. I’m sure I will eventually, but right now I just
want to sleep so that when I wake I can figure out how to put
my life back together again.”

And without even waiting for his response, Robin
walked to the bedroom, closed the door behind her, and locked
it.

Look into your heart, you will find
There is nothing there to hide
Take me as I am, take my life
I would give it all, I would sacrifice

Don’t tell me it’s not worth fighting for
I can’t help it, there’s nothing I want more
You know it’s true, everything I do I do it for you


Thanks to a combination of fatigue and painkillers,
Robin slept for almost 24 hours. When she woke up, her
shoulder was still stiff but she felt better. Her headache was
gone and the pain had dulled. Or maybe it was just that the
pain in her heart made it seem less in comparison.

She had faced life without Stone. And then without
Jason. She would do it again without Frisco.

But she didn’t want to. She wanted what they had
found together these last three years. She wanted him as her
partner on the job. Her lover off. Someone who accepted her
as she was. Who trusted her as she was. She had found that
with Jason once. But lost it when she had returned from Paris
and the whole Baby Michael mess had come about. She had
lied for Jason. She had helped Jason lie. Because she loved
him. Because she chose him over her values, over her sense of
ethics, over herself. And he had chosen Michael. And Carly.
Looking back, she realized that Jason had never really made an
attempt to get Carly out of their lives. At the bridge, that last
day, Jason had made his choice clear. She had left town.
Totally and completely devastated. Then she had run into
Frisco in a Paris airport.

And she had fallen in love. First with her life again.
Then with Frisco. Now she would have to start again.
She put her hair back into a ponytail since the bandage
on her shoulder made showering impossible. She took her
medications for her protocol, and pulled on a cool silk robe.
She looked at the window. It was going to be another beautiful
Southern California day.
She wished it would rain.

She unlocked the bedroom door and walked into the
living room and then stopped. A smile grew on her face. She
tried to force it away, but couldn’t.
“What are you doing here?” She asked.

Frisco looked up from the book he was reading.
“Waiting for you to wake up. I was starting to think you were
going to sleep all night again.”

“If this is because you’re worried about me,” Robin
began. but Frisco interrupted shaking his head.

“This is because I’m worried about me. Worried about
how I will live the rest of my life without you. Stupid of me to
even think I could try,” He sat up and Robin sat next to him.
He interlocked one of her hands into his. “I got scared. Seeing
you get hit, realizing what you meant to me, I got scared. The
last time I felt like this, I screwed it up and screwed it up bad.
You know that. I lied earlier. I’m not scared of you getting
hurt by a bullet or while on a case. I mean, that thought
terrifies me, but you’re right- you’re an adult and you have the
right to make your own choices. I have to trust that you make
the right ones. What scares me the most is that I will hurt you.
And I couldn’t handle that. I ...” he swallows hard. “I don’t
think I could live with myself if my love hurt you.”

Robin smiles at him with her eyes brimming with
unshed tears. “You will,” he protests and she stops him. “You
will hurt me. I will hurt you. That’s what falling in love is
about, giving someone the power to hurt you. We won’t mean
to hurt each other and we will try our best to love each other,
but life is a complicated thing and it doesn’t always come out
the way we want. But love also gives us the power to heal
each other. And we’ll do that too. Just like you healed me
when I thought my life wasn’t’t worth living.”

There is no love, like your love
And no other could give me more love
There’s nowhere, unless your there
All the time, all the way

There is a moment of quiet expectation and hushed
silence between them. “I will do everything I can to live up to
your faith in me,” Frisco whispered as he leaned over to gently
brush her lips with his.

“I know,” Robin returns his kiss. “It won’t be easy, but
what we have is worth fighting for. I know it.”

You can’t tell me it’s not worth trying for
I can’t help it, there is nothing I want more
I would fight for you, I’d lie for you
Walk the wire for you, year I’d die for you

“I love you Robin,” Frisco whispers as he pulls her
close and marvels in the feel of her in his arms again, a blessing
that twenty four hours ago he thought he would never receive
again.

“I love you,” Robin whispers back as she revels in the
feel of his arms around her. The past is gone, the future is
uncertain, but the present feels great Robin thinks to herself as
she moves closer to the man she loves.

You know it’s true
Everything I do
I do for you

The End