Disclaimer
The author(s) of these page(s) is not connected with the financial industry except as an observer with some education. Nothing here should be construed as giving financial advice. Prospective investors should contact a suitably qualified financial advisor.
No warranty or guarantee is given regarding the accuracy, reliability, veracity, or completeness of the information provided here or by following links from this page, and under no circumstances will the author or service provider be liable for any loss including but not limited to direct, indirect, incidental, special or consequential damages caused by using the information, or as a result of the risks inherent in the stock market or investment markets in general.
Excerpts herein are reproduced or linked with the intention to conform to the UK Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 and the US 1976 Copyright Act permitting fair use of extracts for criticism, review and news reporting. (Courtesy Colin Seymour)
If you are normal, try this one:
Are you sure you want to read this disclaimer? Only a weak-willed sissy (or a lawyer - and a slimy one at that) would ever really read a disclaimer. By reading this you are admitting that you are not in charge of your personal life, that you have no self confidence and can not be trusted to make your own intelligent decisions. Is that what you really want? Do you want your friends to know what a flake you are? Do you want the whole world to know that if something goes wrong - rather than fixing it - you'll run simpering to a shyster to make it right.
Come on, grow up!
I am not offering you financial advice, only what I would do if in your shoes. Sure the sky is falling-- This site writes about it. If you wanna duck, that's dandy. If you don't, well that's your business. If you want to play in the middle of the freeway, that's your business, too.
You know what is sick? There is a whole world of lawyers out there want will support you in whatever you do - no matter how stupid. Take this disclaimer. It comes right out and says 'DON'T TRADE ON ANY ADVICE OFFERED ON THIS SITE WITHOUT TALKING TO A PROFESSIONAL FIRST. INVESTING - ESPECIALLY OPTIONS TRADING IS A FINE BUT RISKY (zero-sum, take the money from the new kids kind of) GAME! PEOPLE CAN - AND DO - LOSE THEIR BUTTS ON A REGULAR BASIS. IF YOU WON'T FEEL BAD MAKING A PAYMENT ON SOME LONG ISLAND RICH KID'S MERCEDES, THEN FINE, MAYBE YOU HAVE THE TEMPERMENT - EVEN SO, GET EXPERT HELP BEFORE YOU INVEST".
WHEW! Having said all that, if you trade on any information on this page - there is no doubt some slimeball who will promise you the moon if you do something stupid and lose money. There's no doubt some hack will suggest "recourse". I'm an analyst by trade - even got a bunch of awards tucked away and I try to present facts - within context. I will no doubt someday fail to get it right. Oh well. You lose on your trades or investments, I lose on mine. You ain't paying me. (If you would like to pay, of course, send the check along...)
Well fine. This disclaimer is specifically written not for the lawyer-leaches of the world, but for the really good folks who are Mr. & Ms. and Mrs. Joe Six-pack. That's right - the heart and soul of America. The woking people who think there are too many promises, too many lawyers, and too much crap in the courts to award you a dime, anyway.
Boy, I could go on disclaiming all day. It's a cleansing exercise for me. But you may have had enough. Picture someone reading this in court. Telling the court what an idiot you are for not being responsible for your own actions. Why, it's amazing you can even put on your own Depends.
But seriously:
This site doesn't offer investment advise. Need more disclaiming?
Lawyer plagued with a poor memory? Remember when you read anything on this page that I am a professional by trade - just a humble doctoral candidate - not a market maven, huckster, or broker. If you play the market, seek professional advise - perhaps starting with a mental health counselor. If you still wanna trade, call Gamblers Anonymous. If even THEY can't talk you out of the urge to play index options, ask a broker for some real advice first! Still not sure if you have been disclaimed enough? Everything is fine in the world. Our government loves us, protects us, and nothing can ever go wrong. Those holes on the moon? Asteroids? No, just holes in the cheese that the moon is made of.
Having spewed all that: This page is worth everything you have paid for it.
(Jeez, that was good....did you enjoy it as much as I did?)
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