There are certain people (who shall remain nameless) who have not been sober (at night, and sometimes during the day) for the past three weeks.

Alas, like Arnold, the "Terminator" is not indestructable. It's life came to an end in three pieces on the floor. *tear*

"If I was on a desert island, and I only had Tammy and that bong, I would be a happy man." - ****** (name withheld)

It should be against the law to have to go to school from 8 AM to 6:30 PM.

"I can't believe I'm saying this ... but Joey is pretty cute." - **** (name withheld)

The carpet on the 3rd floor is being replaced, so there's nothing but sticky floor tiles down the whole hall. Your feet stick every time you take a step.

The secret to being able to do whatever you want in the dorms is: make friends with your RMs.

Of course Joey is gay. Duh Chad (and Chris).

I wear my pjs to class every day now.

I'm starting to talk like the Hawaiians (they speak pigeon, i.e. really bad grammar and strange ways of pronouncing stuff).

Have you ever seen an ounce of the ganja? That's a lot of weed.

"That is so f***** sexy. I'm gonna marry this woman. I'm not goin' away!" - ****** (name withheld)

My class piano teacher is LDS, and she has two kids going to BYU(one's graduating this year).

The "Terminator" is Dustin's nickname for Sarah's bong.

PSU was having a dedication ceremony for the new multicultural center and they had these huge ballons all around campus. After we had dinner, we passed by this big bundle of about 15 ballons, left unattended and unwanted. So we took off with them. Then we proceeded to suck the helium (we all sounded like little kids, especially the Hawaiians). We've still got some left, too.

One night, we went to the top of a ten story parking garage (which is really cool, btw). It was raining and wet; and the guys were throwing pennies over the side and trying to hit pedestrians.

Who knew that intentionally trying to burn out(screeching tires) could be so much fun? Just cruisin' is fun too.

"This Shelter Is Self Serviced. Please Clean Up After Yourselves." (Highlight to read original sign)

Nothing ever really gets done at a bass sectional. We usually spend most of the time making fun of our teacher (and ourselves).

"Would it be wrong to date a guy just for his car?" - Karla

"... Drug dealers sleep too!" - Dustin

Stoners and candles don't mix.

Never watch "Dead Alive". It is the cheesiest horror movie ever. Although, the Sumatran Rat Monkey thing almost made it bareable ... almost.

Why is it that there are 15 Smarties in every roll? Who picked that number? I eat them in twos. Then there are 3 left over. That's just not right.

Three friends of mine (who shall remain nameless) got drunk and started a water fight with each other. They soaked the entire third floor hallway and walls with water. They didn't get caught.

Lava lamps are the coolest things ever invented.

Another one of those "A++" papers. What is this world coming to?

While smoking in her bathroom with the lights out ("cuz it looked cool"), a friend of mine set part of her hair on fire, while my other friends looked on ... ("Cool") ...

How absurd is it to pull the fire alarm at 2:30 AM in a 15 story college housing building? We had to stand outside in the cold for 20 minutes while the fire department (which is RIGHT BEHIND OUR BUILDING) checked everything out ..... AT 2:30 IN THE MORNING! If there had actually been a fire, we all would have died. Most people didn't even evacuate.

I have caluses on my hands from opening PEPSI bottles.

I think they invented the computer game "Bejeweled" to distract college students from their homework. It's a conspiracy!

Why do guys' rooms always smell like feet?

South Park is the most messed up show I've ever seen ..... but it's so damn funny.

"We'll get out of here early" doesn't mean anything when it comes from Keith Clark.

It doesn't matter where you live, guys hate having their asses handed to them by a girl.

Rolling a bass down the street is not weird, SO STOP LOOKING AT ME FUNNY!

Brian keeps harrassing me to join his band and play "the big thing".

And you thought your friends were weird .... recently two of my friends had another one of my friends(a guy who shall remain nameless) paint latex shirts on them. Then they proceeded to walk around the dorm and show people their latex incased breasts without shame .... and they have the enitire thing on video tape.

After using Chris' bathroom, Karla's like "You read it for the articles, right?" And Chris' like "No." "Well, at least he's honest."

"Travis will graduate, Keith will have a sudden heart attack, and guess who'll be up on the podium?!" Chad, on his rise to power from lowly assistant stage manager

Being sick sucks.

"Timtim Timmah!" Timmy, from South Park

Some people just don't make good footrests.

Don't take a box of pizza into a room full of guys.

"...and he's like 'Hey, Chad, bend over'." Chad, commenting on Keith taking away half his scholarship for being assistant stage manager (he was going to give him $1000)

Guys should never say anything sexist or shallow near me, cuz they'll get slapped in the back of the head.

I've got to admire Chris. He notices stuff and actually says something (like when you get a hair cut). Whereas, other guys might notice, but would be too afraid to say anything because maybe they just "hadn't noticed that you cut your hair last week" and don't want to sound "dumb".

Chad is obsessed with the whole "Bush chokes on a pretzel" thing. He thinks it's hilariously ridiculous that he got the front page because he was stupid enough to choke on a pretzel. He's constantly looking for "follow-up" stories on Bush's "health".

Never make a guy's desk top theme "pink". (Especially guys who are insecure, and constantly feel the need to prove their masculinity)

Apparently, "smoking pot in Eugene" is like "drinking water."

"I knew you were going to say that!" - Joey, thinking he could see the future when he was stoned.

Don't ever walk up to me and say to me "Is that a cello?", "Don't you wish you played the flute?", or "That's a big guitar!" You may think that you are being witty, clever, or even "original"; however, I assure you, you are not witty, clever, nor original, so don't even think about it! Many people have said exactly what you are about to say, and trust me, it will sound equally stupid coming from you.

"I prayed to God for a miracle, and he smote her mother." - Chad, his lesson was canceled because his violin teacher's mother died

If someone offers you free food, whether it be noon or 9 PM, FOR GOODNESS SAKE TAKE IT!

"I'll make sure you're not left behind for Christmas....so says the Jew."

The unofficial TV lounge on the third floor is Chris and Chad's room.

I'm not the only one who does their laundry at 11 PM.

I Don't Particularly Like Modes After Lunch. Blah!

"Yeah, I know how it is when girls spend the night. Chris and I will end up sharing a blanket on the cold floor while you guys take the beds."

I think they put subliminal messages in Harry Potter. I all of the sudden have the urge to buy the books.....hmmmmm....very curious......

It is possible to fit the entire bass section(and our basses) into the Lincoln Hall elevator. ("What if the elevator plummeted to the basement?" "The entire bass section would be gone." "Keith wouldn't be able to have the concert." "No, he wouldn't even realize we weren't there.")

If you're going to go see Harry Potter, go in the middle of the school week during the lastest show.....bwahahaha....not a kid in sight.

"Dude! Where's my car?" "Where's your car, dude?" "Dude, it's not funny. Where's my car?" "Where's your car, dude?".......

If it doesn't look like meat, it doesn't smell like meat, and it doesn't taste like meat, it's probably what I'm having for dinner tonight.

Inserting the words "someone, anyone" into a karaoke song where they're not supposed to be tells the audience that you're desperate.

Baritones should not attempt to sing Michael Jackson. (Come on now...he's the freakin' Mariah Carey of the male music world...don't even go there)

Making the basses carry their instruments to the second floor for a twenty minute sectional is ridiculous. And while we are on the subject of basses....

Why does Keith always forget about the basses? I mean, it's not like you can miss us. At least he's consistent in forgetting about us. ("It never fails.")

Who really needs 30 comp tickets? Who are you bringing? Your entire apartment building? Carnies? Santa and his eight tiny reindeer?

Every time I'm in the elevators in the Ondine, I feel like they're going to plummet to the basement.

Don't sit in front of the speakers on karaoke night.

I hate it when the elevator stops on third floor on the way down. But I really hate it when the elevator stops on the second floor and no one gets on! Of course I don't know why you would want to take the elevator from the second floor to the first when the stairs are right next to the elevators!

Never leave men to their own devices.

*sigh* Damn that Jewish violin player.

The second week of school, I saw a guy in the basement of Smith Memorial Center who looked EXACTLY like Jesse Camp(of MTV fame).

Beethoven, Bach, and Brahms. I bet no one has ever thought of that combination....

Sitting in the third row of a symphony concert is way cool. (Beethoven's 5th)

Never go to an opera concert when you've got a headache coming on.

The day after Halloween, a friend's annoying room mate was asking us all what we did. (FYI: I was a dead cheerleader) This was another friend's response (*Note...Paraphrased conversation from a bad memory):
Friend: "My roommate and I talked all night."
Annoying Guy: "Really? About what?"
Friend: "We had a deeply philosophical conversation about life. We both came away enlightened and better people."
Annoying Guy: "Oh really?"
Friend: "No man. We were so f***** up."

There was a fat Elvis impersonator at the Portland Saturday Market.

Why is it that there are Pepsi machines on every even floor, except mine!?!

"C" is the "people's key".

There was a road-kill pigeon in the crosswalk (those damn birds were using the crosswalk again!). All you could see was a big mound of feathers and a wing that stood up off the ground. Creepy....

Cheeky bastard!

The piano professor at PSU(Mary) is a total bitch and she usually sits in on my piano class (taught by a graduate assistant). Last week, our teacher say's to us "Mary says that I was working you guys too hard when I was making you change chords on every note..." (Mary was sitting in the back of the class that day, as usual) And this one band guy(saxophone?) says very loudly "That doesn't sound like the Mary we know and fear!" Everyone busted up laughing. (Mary claims to have not heard what he said)

Esperanza's bass is what we call a "franken-bass". (Frankenstein bass) The end pin was being held in place with tape, among other things that make her bass "creepy".

Sight-screaming and ear-straining. LOL. (that's what my Music Theory teacher calls the sight singing/ear training class)("I've got to keep myself amused somehow.")

Our orchestra conductor has no down beats. (and it's so frustrating!!!)

When I went to see "Shallow Hal" with some friends, we were walking home at 12:45 AM and a couple of weird guys told us that we had dropped our butt cracks. (we were just as confused as you are)

This was written on the white board in the bass room: "Adam, miss one more rehearsal and you have to pay to get Colby's bass case dry cleaned. BITCH." (FYI: the case has cat pee on it) I asked Mike who wrote it. "Jessica. But the Bitch part was our idea. We've been calling him that a lot lately. It seems to fit him."

"We've got food, we've got beer. We're ready to work." (bass players, we were supposed to be marking bowings, but we had too many distractions)

During class, we bass players were discussing the possiblities of a "user abusive" tuner. While a normal talking tuner would say stuff like "You are flat," the abusive tuner would say things like "Bring it up, Bitch!"

Someone rearranged the letters in the Bene Pizzeria sign (in the PSU food court) so that it said Pee in Briezza. It stayed that way for three days before someone fixed it.

The pigeons here use the crosswalk to cross the street.

My bass teacher and some of the other basses like to make up there own musical terms. They're up to, like, 5 names for one style of bowing.

I just found out the ages of the other bass players (five weeks into the year). One of the guys is almost 30. I had no idea he was 30! I thought he was like 25ish. (30 and he still lives with his mom)

The 4th floor is where the "bad" Freshmen Experience kids live.

Our conductor (Keith) is a viola player, and he's always yelling at the violins (but they suck so it's ok).

The elevator in Lincoln Hall smells like maple syrup.

It looks really funny to see a group of bass players pushing their basses on wheels in a single file line.

If you're gonna dress slutty for a party, don't be under the influence of anything.

The MAX sucks.

A few years ago a drunk guy climbed out onto the fire escape (of my dorm) on the 14th floor with his German Shepard over his shoulder. He accidentally dropped the dog over the edge and eventually fell over the side himself. He hit every ledge on the way down. The school had to have a HAZ-MAT team come by and clean up all the blood which was all over the side of the building.

J-walking is an art.

Portland is ssoooo much better than Seattle.

Don't mix beer and hockey.

My roommate uses her older sister's old driver's license to buy alcohol from the ghetto Safeway.

Beware of drunk men on the MAX (above-ground subway in Portland).

Free stuff is good.

Beethoven 9 is a bitch.

None of the basses understand what our bass teacher is saying most of the time. We've all perfected the art of smiling and nodding......

8:00 AM classes......EVIL! DIE! DIE!

"Whose line is it anyway?" is sssoooo much better with Drew Carey as the host.

Those big foam hands are da bomb!

BS is gonna have to do, 'cuz i don't understand what the hell the assignment is!

Football sucks.

Times I've seen the new Britney Spears video: 10, 15.......times i wish I hadn't seen the new Britney Spears video: every moment of my life!

Bowling is a black man's sport. Think about it! There's a big black ball. 10 white pins.....and all of 'em got red necks.

Record for getting ready for class: 5 minutes

Never put a twenty dollar bill in a postage stamp machine.

You can never watch enough reruns of SNL.

College food sucks, unless you go to Southern Oregon University (yeah, if you've eaten there you know what I'm talkin' 'bout).

There's a "Psycho" movie poster in the "Bass Room". Do ya think that maybe they're tryin' to say somthing?

Every day is "Let's get drunk!" day.

All of the string bass students can do a dead-on impression of our bass teacher. ("I'm trying to think of a good way to say this......")

The official orchestra hangout is McMenamin's Market Street Pub, where we go after practice and have dinner, drink alcohol (well, the people over 21 do), and talk. Even our conductor comes to chill with us.

You can never get enough white rice and terriyaki chicken. And using chopsticks is not as hard as it seems.

The room next door is the unofficial "TV Lounge" of the fourth floor. I don't know who lives in there, or what makes their room so special (my theory is that they are really desperate for friends), but I do know that there's a TV in my room. Why would I want to go next door to watch TV when I can do it my own room?

It rains A LOT in Portland, I don't own an umbrella, and I'm too cheap to buy one.

"Freshmen 15"? PSHAW! The food here is not good enough to consume a large amount of anything, and I'm broke so I cant't buy additional food. And then there's all that walking! Uphill both ways!

If you value your sleep, don't live in a dorm.

Did you know that there are 7 clefs in western music? I'm sure you don't care, but I have to memorize all the notes in all of them.

Broken window count:2 (not my windows!)(one from the first day I was here, the other earlier this week)

Never Bb, Always B#, Just B.

Times that I've locked myself out of my room: 1

Mmmmmmm.....Skittles.