Emily Quartermaine wanted nothing more than to sleep in, which explained why she tried so hard to ignore the faint rattling noise coming from the window of the room she was staying in at Llanfair.

Groaning and muttering words designed to curse all individuals who liked getting up in the morning, she tried to pull the down comforter over her head and return to the peaceful quiet of her dream.

It didn’t work.

Giving up and biting back an expletive just in case Santa really existed, Emily hurriedly pulled on her robe and went to the window to try to find the source of the noise that was keeping her from her sleep and if humanly possible, kill it.

A relunctant smile crossed her face when she pulled the heavy curtain back and looked out the window.

Down on the ground below, stood Nikolas with a huge smile on his face.

Trying to hide her smile behind a scowl, Emily opened the door.

“What do you want Cassadine?” She yelled.

“Do you really want me to answer that in public Quartermaine?” He grinned unabashedly and tried not to smirk when a deep blush stained her cheeks.

She shook her head. “Do you know what time it is?”

“Time for you to get up and get dressed?” Nikolas suggested.

“Guess again,” Emily replied shortly.

“I have a surprise for you.” Nikolas offered the bait and waited for her to go after it. Five seconds. Ten seconds. Fifteen seconds.

“Give me a few minutes to change.” She called down hastily as the window shut and the curtain fell back down. Even as he rubbed his hands on his arms to keep warm, Nikolas found himself smiling ruefully. Some things never changed. No matter how grown up she might be, in many ways Emily would always manage to remind him of an innocent child and he hoped that never changed.

Emily, dressed in jeans and a blue and white ski sweater took one last look in the mirror before heading downstairs. She left her long hair falling down past her shoulders and wore only a slight amount of make up, just enough to add to the sparkle in her eyes. Why was she worrying about how she looked? It was only Nikolas. Now that was a delusional statement if she had ever heard one. He had never ever been only Nikolas. He had been Nikolas her fantasy. Nikolas her heartache. Nikolas her best friend. Nikolas the guy who haunted her dreams when she was too tired to keep him out.

She looked at her reflection in the mirror. Their roles had reversed themselves in the last 24 hours. Now it was Nikolas who was doing the pursuing and she was the one with doubts, huge doubts, about the wisdom of the two of them together. If she was smart she’d stay in this room forever or at least until she had completely forgotten that Nikolas Cassadine even existed.

Shrugging, she picked up her jacket and a pair of gloves and headed downstairs..

When the world turns you in circles
And the wind is at your face
When you need somewhere to run to
I know a place
If you want someone who's willing
To lay down their heart
Someone to dry your tears
I'm here
I volunteer

“So,” Emily said nervously as they walked down the path, their feet sloshing a little in the snow. “where’s the big surprise?”

“Just a little bit ahead.” Nikolas said quietly, her nervousness made him keenly aware of all the mistakes he had already made with her and how much he was counting on her ability to forgive him for the past and let them start again. “I would have brought it closer to the main house, but I thought the noise from the main house might startle them.”

“Them?” Emily asked perplexed as she stepped into the same clearing they had been in the other day. “What do you mean they...”

Her voice stopped and she stared in stunned silence at the sight that greeted her. There in the meadow stood four white horses, perfectly matched and decked out in crimson and gold, pulling a crimson sleigh. It looked like something from a Currier and Ives Christmas card Emily’s mother had bought one year when she was little.

Her silence made Nikolas even more uneasy. “Em? Do you like it? I can take them back...”

“No,” Emily’s response was both strong and immediate. “I’ve just never...I mean no one has ever...” Emily’s voice trailed off in a pleased confusion and Nikolas smiled in relief as he found himself holding her hand and gently looking into her eyes.

“They should have.” He says the words softly but Emily hears them and the promise they hold. He pulls her hand towards him and places a gentle kiss on the inside of her wrist. Emily steps back in confusion and Nikolas drops her hand with a smile. “You deserve to be treated like a princess.”

Emily shook her head negatively. “I’m not that special.” She stammered.

“You are to me,” Nikolas responded. “And now that you’ve dropped Juan...”

“Wait a minute,” Emily interrupted in exasperation. “I didn’t drop Juan. I just told him that I needed time to think. HE agreed to give me some breathing room to decide what I want without pressure.”

“HE is an idiot and He only agreed after HE threw a temper tantrum when you told him to go back to Port Charles.”

“He didn’t throw a temper tantrum.”

“Let’s see he yelled at you, he whined, he pouted, and he would have thrown that lamp if I hadn’t been there. It sounds like a temper tantrum to me.”

Emily avoided the look in his eyes. She couldn’t disagree. The scene with Juan had been uglier than she had expected. Her usually understanding if somewhat dominating boyfriend had turned into a stranger, accusing her of sleeping with Nikolas all along and just using him to get Nikolas jealous. The worst part was that there was an element of truth in what he said. Of course he had been using her to get closer to Jason and Sonny so she considered them even.

And was thankful that Nikolas had called the Cassadine jet for Juan and then made sure he got on it while she went to bed.

She really didn’t want to know what transpired between Juan and Nikolas when they left Llanfair, although judging from the satisfied expression on Nikolas’s face and the slight bruising of his knuckles she could pretty well guess.

She sighed softly. “I can’t do this Nikolas.”

“Do what?” Nikolas kept his voice casual. “You haven’t even heard my plans yet.”

Prepare to be courted. Emily remembered his words and shivered slightly. It had been hard enough staying away from a Nikolas who almost completely ignored her, how was she going to cope with being courted and not give in to what she was feeling. Even now she could feel herself gravitating towards him. Wanting to be closer.

Nikolas could almost feel her battle between giving in to her feelings and holding onto her fear.

“So what are they?” She tried to keep her voice light and casual.

“A day for just us. It’s Christmas Eve Emily and I can’t imagine anyone I want to spend the day with more than my best friend. Will told me about this little inn in the country and I thought we could take a sleigh ride out there and then see where the day takes us. No Juan. No Katherine. No specters of the past. Just you and me spending the day together.” And no Will he added with silent conviction.

Doubt flickered in Emily’s eyes. “Jess will have plans.”

“Not till later this afternoon. I checked. Don’t worry I’ll have you back in time for all of the Christmas Eve festivities.”

“Do you even know how to handle the horses?”

He cocked a pure Cassadine eyebrow at her.

“Forget I asked.” She mumbled. “You are going to tell me where you found four white horses and a sleigh in Llanview, aren’t you?”

“If I tell you a Cassadine family secret than I either have to kill you or marry you.” He grinned teasingly.

Now she gave him a look that was pure Quartermaine. “What happened to no more secrets?”

He shook his head. “It won’t work Em. You want to know where the horses came from, than you better give in and come to me. With me.” He amended with a roguish look. “Besides the sleigh is only a small part of what I have planned. The day is going to be full of surprises and you know you want to come, so you might as well give up gracefully.”

Emily took a look at the four beautiful and powerful looking horses. Her smile was suddenly impish and mischievous as she let him help her into the sleigh. “I just hope you don’t start singing Jingle Bells or something.”

Nikolas looked at her solemnly after he walked around the sled, climbed in next to her, and grabbed the reins. “Cassadines don’t sing.”

“Thank God.”

“They buy sound systems.” Nikolas flicked a switch by his side of the sleigh and Emily smiled as the air was suddenly filled with Christmas music. But as sweet as the music was, the sweetest sound for Nikolas was Emily’s laughter as the sled made its way through the woods.

A shoulder, a caring voice
To tell you it's ok
Arms meant for holding you
Whenever your afraid
I've got that and more to spare
Just say the word and I'll be there

Llanfair

Vicki Buchanan looked at her quiet and withdrawn daughter. She hadn’t seen Jess this subdued since Emily’s arrival. Emily’s visit had done much to banish the shadows from Jessica’s eyes, but they seemed to have returned this morning.

“Where is Emily?” Vicki asked.

A brief smile crossed Jessica’s face. “She’s being courted.”

Jessica had been awakened by Nikolas earlier this morning and she had been the one who had helped him find the horses and the sleigh. Nikolas had been so determined to get Emily to admit that she had feelings for him and so sincere that Jess had overlooked both her protective feelings towards Emily and her long standing resentment towards Nikolas for the whole Katherine debacle and agreed to help him.

And the small voice inside her that said if Nikolas and Emily were together, Will would be free. Well, she did her best not to listen to it. She had almost succeeded.

“It’s okay,” Jess continued as Vicki’s expression fluctuated between being startled and complete confusion. “She’s spending the day with Nikolas. They’ll be back later this afternoon.”

“Oh.” Vicki said simply, at a loss as to what else to say. “So what are your plans for the day? Something with Christian no doubt?”

Jess shook her head. “Christian is spending the day helping his mother get ready for her Christmas Dinner for the community.” He had called that morning already. His apology had been as she expected, although the tone of voice was more angry than apologetic. She had listened as he had explained that he was under a lot of pressure, he had been slightly drunk, he had been feeling looked down on by her friends, and Roseanne was there. She wondered how Roseanne would feel being compared to a pressure release valve and then realized she really didn’t care how Roseanne felt about anything.

“I have a suggestion.” Vicki said hoping to shake her daughter out of this mood. “Why don’t you come to the homeless family shelter and help with the holiday party? You used to enjoy helping us to decorate and then playing games with the children and givinging out presents.”

Jessica hesitated. She didn’t feel like celebrating anything. But she also knew that declining the invitation and staying home alone would only kick in her mother’s overprotective instincts. She didn’t feel like being scrutinized by her mother for the next few weeks. She nodded. “It sounds like fun.” The words were completely devoid of enthusiasm, but she managed a smile nonetheless.

They arrived at the shelter less than an hour later, having stopped at the Banner to pick up some donated toys. The shelter was large and nondescript outside, inside it was comfortable and welcoming. Each family in the shelter was given one large room to sleep in and a private bathroom, more than many of these families had seen in years. Best of all, the shelter allowed the families to stay together while it offered job training and other educational resources designed to get these families back on their feet.

Jessica was placing the wrapped presents under the Christmas with dozen or so small eyes watching when she heard it. His voice. Her heart stilled. God she wasn’t ready for this. She wasn’t ready to see him again. No Christian to hide behind. No Emily. Just them. Slowly she turned to see Sam and Nora entering the shelter with Will trailing behind them holding his baby brother.

Exactly as he would have held Megan.

Their eyes met and for a moment, the rest of the world disappeared as they shared a silent and powerful moment of mourning. The Christmases that would never come. The presents that would never be bought.

Then one of the children tugged on her sweater causing Jess to look down and for the moment to be broken.

As she was finishing with the children and promising to play games with them in a little bit, she could feel his presence close to her as he came up behind her. Every nerve in her seemed to be on fire from his warmth.

She turned and found his eyes too close to avoid, even if she wanted to. The look in them, half full of hope and half full of pain, was hard for her to cope with. She had hurt him with her rejection last night. Hurt him badly. She bit her bottom lip nervously.

“Hi.” Her voice was softer and more breathless than she had intended it to be.

“Merry Christmas.” He tried to read her eyes. Was that some feeling for him he saw in them? She looked down quickly.

“I guess you know about Nik and Emily?”

“That he’s finally seen the light?” Will nodded. “We were up talking pretty late last night.”

Actually they had been up the whole night, Nikolas had been waiting for him when he returned from Megan’s grave. Will refused to apologize for kissing Emily or to promise that it wouldn’t happen again. He had pointed out instead that if Nikolas wanted to keep other guys away from the beautiful Miss. Quartermaine than he knew what he had to do.

It was good to know that even Cassadines could learn from their mistakes.

“Nik seems determined to start over with Emily. He knows he blew it big time and he wants a second chance.”

“I hope she gives him one.” Jess tried to gauge his reaction. How deep were his feelings for Emily. Was he wishing even now that he was spending the day with her and not Nikolas?

Will shook his head. “I don’t know. Sometimes when somebody breaks your heart badly enough its better to move on with your life than wait around for them to break your heart again.”

The bitter look in his eyes as he glanced at her as he said the words scarred her heart. She’d meant to save herself and save him from being hurt again. Instead she had hurt him with her rejection and the pain gnawing in her didn’t seem like it was going to lessen sometime soon.

Something told her she had blown it big time.

She started to say something, anything, when Nora called Will to help with the decorations and with one short dismissive look, Will walked away from her.

She had to bite her lip to keep from calling him back. When the world turns you in circles
And the wind is at your face
When you need somewhere to run to
I know a place
If you want someone who's willing
To lay down their heart
Someone to dry your tears
I'm here
I volunteer


Son Credits
I Volunteer sung by Colin Raye
(Will Robinson/Larry Boone/Tammy Hyler)