Emily stirred the marshmallows in her cocoa absently as she focused her eyes on to the floral centerpiece in front of her. A few feet away from her, a roaring fire in the fireplace worked valiantly to dispel the lingering cold from the sleigh ride. The small inn, gaily adorned for the holiday season, was set perfectly amid the trees blanketed with snow and the nearby brook.

It was, all in all, the perfect romantic setting and the fact that Nikolas had arranged it so that the two of them were the only guests in the inn’s dining room simply added to the atmosphere.

Emily felt like she was in a dream that someone had forgotten to wake her up from.

“Emily?” Nikolas’s voice was both a question and a caress. Emily looked up with a half-formed smile and into the brown depths of his eyes. It was like drowning, as hard as she tried to fight the current it nonetheless kept threatening to take her away.

Emily Quartermaine was, to put it simply, in paradise. The only nagging question in the back of her mind was how long would it last. How long could it last? Nothing had changed in the last week or so. She was still Emily Bowen-Quartermaine. She was still a little too tall, okay a lot too tall, sometimes clumsy, and prone to act before thinking. She was still impulsive and still insecure. Nikolas was still urbane, polished, handsome, charming, and in every way possible a real prince.

Yet everything had changed. Emily’s reality had shifted on its axis and twisted around. Could anyone blame her if a part of her, okay maybe a big part of her, was waiting for all of this to turn out to be a mirage? A hallucination. Not real.

“Earth to Emily?”

“I’m sorry.” Emily flushed under Nikolas’s gaze. “I was thinking.”

“Obviously,” Nikolas smiled. “Any thoughts you care to share?”

“I was just thinking how beautiful all of this is,” Emily improvised, reluctant to spoil the mood with her own insecurities.

“It is isn’t?” Nikolas agreed, determined to put her ease around him. He knew she had doubts, he’d always been able to read her like a book and God alone knew he done a lot to make her feel insecure over the last few years. He didn’t expect her to automatically believe him or trust him, all he wanted was for her to give him a chance. As long as she wasn’t shutting the door on him, he was hopeful. “Will told me about this place.”

“It reminds me of your cottage...” Emily began and stopped. Conversation about his cottage led to thoughts of Katherine who shared it with him or Liz who decorated it for him. She didn’t want to go there. Ever.

Or at least not this afternoon.

Nikolas sighed as her voice trailed off. “Emily I’m sorry. I don’t know what else I’m supposed to say or what else I can do to convince you.” He reached up and gently caressed her cheek with his thumb. “I was an idiot.” He said simply.

Emily’s brown eyes looked straight into his without flinching. “You hurt me.”

“I won’t again.”

“You can’t promise that Nikolas and even if you did I’m not sure that I would believe you.” Emily sad sadly. “You want me to forget the past and I don’t think I can.”

Nikolas nodded, choosing his words as carefully as if his life depended upon it, because it did. “I don’t want you to forget the past. I don’t want either of us to forget the past because it brought us to where we are now. Here and together. Maybe we needed to go through the heartache to appreciate each other.”

Emily shook her head. “You didn’t go through any heartache. I did.”

“I know. I had a lot of growing up to do and I’ve done it. I know what I want and what I want is right in front of me.”

The Homeless Shelter

Will stole a look at Jessica from the corner of his eye. In the last sixty minutes they had exchanged only the briefest of conversations, mostly centering around his family or her family and various plans for the evening celebrations.

In other words, they had made small talk.

Will didn’t know what hurt worst, Jessica’s rejection the night before or the fact that they could no longer talk to each other. Maybe he should have kept his mouth shut about his feelings and forced himself to be content with her friendship.

He had been so sure that she loved him that he had been willing to risk everything they had in order to find something deeper, more meaningful, and infinitely more powerful.

It had been a gamble that he had lost. Big time.

“Will?”

Will looked up into Vicki Buchanan’s worried gaze. “Mrs. Buchanan?” He kept his voice neutral, the last thing he needed was his family or her family interfering in their relationship. He didn’t want Jess to love him out of some kind of familial obligation. He wanted her to love him how he loved her, because he couldn’t imagine not loving her.

“I’m worried about Jessica.” Vicki said flatly. “Did something happen at dinner last night?”

Let’s see...my heart was trampled on, Christian almost screwed Roseanne at the dinner table, a mobster offered me a job, and I kissed Emily Quartermaine just in time for Nikolas and Jessica to watch. Now I’ve lost one best friend and the other best friend wishes I was in Hades at least long enough for him to get the girl. And did I forget to mention that your daughter broke my heart?

“Not much,” Will shook his head. “Nothing special or unusual anyway.”

Vicki’s eyes narrowed. “ Then why does my daughter look so shattered?”

Will shrugged, unconsciously his tone freezes a little. “She probably had a fight with Christian. You know how important her relationship to Christian is to her.” Will barely disguises the sarcastic bent of his words. Putting on a fake smile, he turns slightly away from Vicki. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to see if Nora needs any help in the kitchen.”

Without looking back and definitely breathing a sigh of relief, Will heads to the kitchen opening the side by side swinging doors.

He stops as he sees a lone figure standing at the sink, carefully putting up the last empty dish.

“Jessica.” He acknowledges her formally and then turns to leave.

“Will wait.” She calls after him.

He tries to tell himself not to stop, but he can’t seem to make his feet obey his brain. God help him even after she rejected him outright, he can’t say no to her.

He turns slowly.

“Did you need some help?” He keeps his voice carefully controlled.

“No..Yes...I mean..” Jessica is uncharacteristically flustered. She has seen Will this angry before, but never before has it been directed at her and she finds it intimidating. She takes a deep breath. “I was hoping that we could talk.”

“I don’t think there’s anything to talk about. I think you made your feelings quite clear last night. There’s nothing more to say.”

“Why did you kiss Emily?” Oh God, where did that come from? She’d meant to ignore what she had seen last night, she had met to never ever mention Emily in Will’s arms ever again. She shook her head. “I’m sorry. It’s none of my business.”

“You’re right it isn’t,” Will said cuttingly.

“You know she and Nikolas are together right now.” Jess said impulsively.

“And? You of all people should know that I have a habit of falling for girls who are in love with someone else. Maybe I’ll get luckier with Emily than I have been with others.”

Jessica winces at both what he says and what is left unsaid. “You don’t....” Her voice trails off in midsentence as she loses her nerve. “Never mind.”

“No, I don’t.” He answers not bothering to pretend he doesn’t know what she is going to ask him. “But I could.”

“Oh.”

Will sighs. As much as he wants to, as angry as he is, he knows that he is incapable of hurting her. He will always be incapable of hurting her. That’s just the way it is.

“Jess, is there a point to this conversation?”

“I...I want us to be friends.”

“I don’t know if that’s possible anymore.” Will says honestly. “Being around you...it hurts.”

A wounded look entered Jessica’s eyes and her blue eyes shadowed. Will steeled himself from the temptation to relent, to tell her that everything could be what it had been between them.

“It’s for the best Jess,” he says softly, gently. “You have Christian and I’m...”

“You’re what?”

Please don’t say falling in love with Emily.

“I’m moving to London right after New Year’s.” The woods near Llanview

They’d been walking for about ten minutes, gloved hand in gloved hand. Even through the material, Emily could feel his warmth.

She’d said very little since they had left the inn, and the sleigh, behind. Nikolas had been quiet, watching her intensely but saying little. It was like he was waiting for her to say something, to do something, and she had no idea what to say or what to do.

She knew what she wanted to say. She wanted to fling her arms around his neck and kiss him. She wanted to revel in the knowledge that Nikolas wanted her, finally he wanted her half as much as she wanted him. Nikolas would have been impossible to resist even if she wasn’t already head-over-heels in love with him.

Yet every time she imagined saying the words, another picture came into her head. Nikolas and Katherine in bed. Nikolas and Liz embracing.

How could she trust him?

How could she let him go?

She shivered in the cold air but she knew the trembling coursing through her body had only a little to do with the weather and a lot more to do with the young man besides her.

Nikolas stopped and carefully took off his leather jacket and put it around her shoulders.

“Nikolas?” She protested even as the extra layer of warmth penetrated. She could smell the scent of the leather mingled with the raw and powerful scent of him. “It’s cold. You’ll freeze.”

“We only have a little ways more to go,” he smiled at her. “Besides if I freeze you’ll have to do whatever it takes to warm me up.”

“I thought Cassadines were naturally cold-blooded,” Emily teased.

Suddenly, Nikolas pulled her close to him. Emily almost stumbled, but regained her balance quickly. “Do you want me to show you how warm blooded I am?” Nikolas mocked with a smile.

“Uhhh, no thanks,” Emily smiled shyly. “I guess I’ll take your word for it.”

“Coward.”

“Discretion is the better part of valor.”

“That was war Em, this is love.”

“I’m a Quartermaine- for us there isn’t much difference.”

Nikolas laughed. “Not for Cassadines either. I guess we’ll have to make our own traditions.”

Before Emily can reply and chastise Nik for assuming a future she is far from sure of, Nik stops her. “We’re here.”

Emily turns and her breath catches and her heart goes flip flop on her. There in the middle of the meadow blanketed by snow is a pine tree. it’s branches decorated with bright lights and an assortment of ornaments that glitter in the winter sunshine. Her eyes sparkle as she turns to Nikolas.

“It’s beautiful.”

Nikolas surveys his handiwork with satisfaction, the lack of sleep the night before seems suddenly worthwhile when he catches Emily’s glowing face. “Yeah it is.” He says softly, not even bothering to look at his surprise.

Emily is too caught up in Nik’s surprise for the look on his face to register. She approaches the tree in an awe that rapidly turns to confusion as she gets a good look at some of the ornaments. “That looks the ornament my mom picked up to remind me of that camping trip we took the summer before......” Her voice trails off as she picks up the little plastic tent with Snoopy and Woodstock sitting in front of it. “And this is the little Snowman that always hung on our tree that I made in kindergarten......and these are the spun glass balls that were from my father’s family and....” She turns to Nikolas, staggered by what she sees. “These are the ornaments my mother gave me. How? Why?”

“The why is easy,” Nikolas says drawing her close to him as her hand encircles a photo ornament displaying a young Emily with an older woman. “I love you. I wanted you to share Christmas with your mother.”

Emily turned and buried her head in Nikolas’s shoulder, crying softly.

“Hey, “ Nikolas says brushing her hair back gently, his tone worried. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

“You didn’t,” Emily says and then laughs softly as she realizes what a stupid statement that is with tears streaking down her face. “I mean it’s okay. It’s a good cry. Sometimes I get so caught up in being a Quartermaine that I can’t even remember what it was like when I was just plain Emily Bowen. Seeing this tree, remembering all of these memories, it’s like gave me my mother back. Even if its just for a little while, I feel like she’s right here next to me.”

“The people we love stay with us forever.” Nikolas says softly. “Your mother. Lucky. As long as we hold them in our heart, they will be with us.”

“Oh...Nikolas,” Emily says softly. “You have to be missing Lucky so much.”

“I do. I always will. But I’m with you and I have a feeling that when I’m with you, nothing will be as bad as it would be if we were apart.”

Emily nodded. Nikolas reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box. Gently kissing the top of her head, he places the box in her hand. “Merry Christmas Emily.”

Emily shakes her head. “I don’t have anything for you....”

“All I need for Christmas is your smile.”

“Does that mean I can take back the present I bought for you?” Emily somehow manages to tease, even as her shaky fingers open the box. She opens the jewelers box and withdraws a silver locket, engraved with a silver rose, on a silver chain. Delicate and graceful, the necklace glitters in the sunlight.

“Open it,” Nikolas says softly.

Emily does so and suddenly her eyes are flooded with tears. Inside are two pictures, one a picture of Emily taken last summer. On the other side is a picture of Paige Bowen. “It’s beautiful,” Emily says in a stunned whisper. “But how did you do all of this?” She turns to Nikolas. “How long have you been planning this?”

“From the moment we talked in the mall and you told me how much Christmas reminded you of your mother.”

“But I. was with Juan and we.....we weren’t....why?”

He smiled at her. “Because I could not imagine not doing it.” He says softly, echoing her words from earlier in the week..

Emily stares at Nikolas and then at the tree and then at the locket in her hand. No one, not Juan or her parents or even Jason, has ever truly understood how much, even after all these years, she still misses her mother. Her mother had not been there to help her through her first crush. Or there to give her advice when a boy first noticed her. Or help her dress for her first formal dance. Her mother wouldn’t be there to give her away when she got married. Or hold her grandchild.

Emily loved Alan and Monica, even on the days when they were completely at odds.

But no one could take the place of Paige Bowen in her life.

“How did you know?” She asked through her tears.

“Because I know you.” Nikolas said seriously, “Because I love you.”

“Nik...”

“I’m not asking for a commitment, Emily. I know that a relationship between us has to happen slowly, bit by bit. No commitment Emily,” he repeated firmly. “All I want is a chance.”

Emily closes her eyes. He can say no commitment as many times as he wants, but Emily knows that once she gives him her heart he will hold it forever.

But since he’s had it since she was fifteen, does she really want it back?

“We take it slowly.”

“As slow as you want.” Nikolas nods. “As far as I’m concerned we have the rest of our lives to figure out the details.” “So much for no commitments, Cassadine,” Emily smiles ruefully.

“That wasn’t a commitment.” Nikolas protested. “That was a prediction.”

“Since when did you turn psychic?”

“Since I realized that I can’t imagine a future for myself that doesn’t include you.”

“Another prediction?”

“No. A statement of fact.” Nikolas said simply as he reached down and gently kissed her on the lips. After a second she returned the kiss and Nikolas deepened it.

Nikolas was breathless when he broke off the kiss. “Does that mean I get my chance?”

Emily nodded shyly. “I can’t walk away from you.”

“Thank God.” Nikolas said simply before reaching down to claim her lips again.

The Homeless Shelter

“London?”

Will nodded. “I talked to my dad this morning. I’m going to spend my next semester of school abroad.” He didn’t add that he had almost begged his dad to make the arrangements. He couldn’t watch Jess and Christian together anymore.

Jessica stared at him in shock. In all of her scenarios regarding Will, she had never once imagined that he would walk out of her life. Or that just the thought of it would inflict a pain she didn’t think she could handle. She couldn’t imagine not seeing him, not talking to him, not having him there when she needed him.

“Jess?” Concern laced Will’s voice at her sudden paleness.

“I’m okay....” she whispered distantly, willing herself to find the courage to watch him walk out of her life. To let him go.

“Are you sure? Can I get you a glass of water? Maybe call your mother? What do you want Jess?”

What do you want Jess? What do you want Jess? What do you want Jess? The words seemed to echo in her head like some kind of benediction, slowly unraveling what little self-control she had to begin with.

“I want....” Jessica began hoarsely and then stopped, swallowed hard, and began again. “I want you to forgive me for killing our baby.” She blurted out, not quite believing what she said even as she said it. She stared into his eyes for a moment, before breaking contact.

Before Will can gather his wits and just as the words she whispered sink in, Jess turns and flees out the back door of the kitchen.

Will is a second behind her.

Too far behind her to stop her from running in front of the delivery truck but too close too her to not hear the sickening thud.

Panicked and in shock, Will raced to the silent figure on the ground, ignoring the panicked explanation of the driver about patches of ice or the screams of the passerby’s.

“Jess.” He whispered her name urgently, searching desperately for some sign of life, some indication that he has not lost her forever.

Her eyes flicker as her pain filled eyes open and connect with his.

“Love you,” she whispers even as the blood drips from her mouth and her eyes close, leaving Will alone in the sudden silence of the morning.