Emily leaned back and closed her eyes in silence as Sarah drove the car through the city streets. She was still alive. She had nearly been killed, been held hostage at gunpoint, and killed a man herself. But she was still alive. Still capable of breathing. Thinking. Dreaming. Feeling.

She forced herself not to think of a certain person or a certain moment. Whatever it was that between them, he was gone from her life and it was gone with him.

She shivered despite herself as she remembered that look in his eyes. Remembered that moment when she had heard the gun click and he had placed himself between her and the gun the DVX agent had aimed at them both.

Then she forced herself to remember his embracing Sarah and her proclaiming them lovers. Emily stole a look at Sarah. Why the hell wouldn’t Jagger prefer Sarah? Sarah was beautiful. A little bit cold these days, but still beautiful.

Sarah could kill a man without blinking unlike Emily who was still fighting back the urge to vomit. She supposed in Jagger’s line of work a girlfriend who got sick at the sight of blood would not be a good thing.

Oh Jesus. What was she thinking? Girlfriend? Get a grim Em. You have enough problems in your life without falling for the first professional killer with gorgeous eyes who holds you prisoner. Her thumb traced the scars on her wrists.

Yeah. You have enough problems she thought to herself bitterly.

“You okay?”

Sarah’s question surprised Em and she forced herself to bite back the rude reply that sprung to her lips. “I’m fine.” She said the words flatly.

Sarah sighed, not sure where the sudden influx of guilt was coming from. The woman she had become could care less about the friends she had left behind, couldn’t she? All these years she had prided herself on feeling nothing. Cool. Remote. Deadly. Over the last 24 hours she felt like she had been emotionally battered. Watching Carly Morgan die. Worrying about Emily. Dealing with Morgan. The flashbacks. And most cutting of all, Morgan’s words. She couldn’t shake them. Couldn’t forget them? Did he really believe them? And what did she care if he did?

She would be glad when this mission was done. Once she had killed Kosokov, she could walk away from Port Charles forever. She kept her eyes on the road.

“I’m sorry you got involved.”

“Yeah. Me too. Almost getting killed by someone who was once my friend was not what I had on my agenda today.” Emily quipped softly. “And neither was killing someone.” She finished softly.

“Don’t.” Sarah looked at her sharply. “Don’t feel guilt. He would have killed you without hesitation.”

“He was just a kid. Our age.”

“He stopped being a kid when he joined the DVX. I haven’t been a kid since I left Port Charles. And I don’t think you’ve been a kid for a while either.”

Emily shrugged, not exactly comfortable with the conversation but nonetheless reluctant to end it. “I guess.” She looked at Sarah softly. “What happened to you? The Sarah Webber I knew wanted to help people.”

“The Sarah Webber you know died a long time ago.”

“What happened to her?”

Sarah’s gaze was even. “You don’t want to know.”

“I suppose not.”

Emily shifted uncomfortably. What were safe topics of conversation when you were dealing with a professional killer? Somehow she couldn’t see Sarah interested in discussing the latest happenings on Beverly Hills 90210 like they used to. And as she didn’t’t happen to subscribe to Soldier of Fortune magazine that left out the latest models of hand held grenades. “Liz’s wedding was beautiful.” Emily began cautiously. “She looked really really happy. I just got a postcard from them in Paris if you want to see it I’ll bring it down to you when we get to the mansion. I think I even have their address if you want to send her a postcard...” Emily began only to have Sarah cut her off.

“No thanks.”

“But why? I mean I get why you don’t want Liz to know about your little career change, but I know she misses you and wants to hear from you.”

“I said no.” Sarah said sharply. Her heart caught in her throat. Liz. For all that they had never really liked each other as kids, they had always loved each other. She missed her sister. But it was better this way. What she believed about kids being hostages of fate in this business also applied to sisters. As long as no one could connect her with Liz, no one could use Liz against her. And this way she wouldn’t have to explain to Liz how she had allowed their father to be killed and why she was responsible for their mother’s death. She wouldn’t have to see Liz’s eyes darken with pity as she told her the details of that night....No! She said the words loudly in her mind. No one, not Liz, not no one, was going to know what happened to her. The only one in the world who really knew was Jagger and he would never tell. He would never betray her trust and she would never betray his. She owed Jagger not just her life, but her sanity, such as it was. If he hadn’t been there for her while she was recovering....she shuddered.

Emily hesitated, seeing something in Sarah’s expression that made her want to offer her sympathy, only she wasn’t sure exactly what she was sorry for.

Emily wasn’t sure if she was sorry or grateful when Sarah’s car pulled up to the Quartermaine gate.

Without a word, she moved to open the door when Sarah’s voice stopped her.

“Some last minute warnings Quartermaine.” The words were clipped and controlled. “You breathe one word about the last 24 hours to anyone and I’ll find you and I’ll kill you. No hesitation this time.” Sarah’s lips curled mockingly. “And since the thought of your own death doesn’t seem to bother you,” she pretended not to hear Emily’s sharply indrawn breath, “just remember that I can just as easily kill your beloved nephew.”

“Don’t worry, Webber,” Emily emphasized the last word grimly. She refused to give in to her fears. “I intend to forget every second of the last 24 hours as soon as is humanly possible.”

“Good.” Sarah paused. “Do yourself a favor. Stay away from your brother for a while. Being around Jason Morgan isn’t exactly safe these days.” Sarah’s blue eyes met Emily’s brown ones across the darkened car. “And do me a favor. Stay away from Jagger.”

“I intend to.” Emily said softly as she stepped out of the car. She looked up at the gatehouse, a little puzzled. She had moved into the gatehouse after she had come out of her stint at Ferncliff, not wanting to be any closer to her parents but perversely not wanting to be completely on her own yet. She might never get over the fact that her parents had committed her, but Alan and Monica were the closest tie she had to AJ and Lila and a past she was trying very hard to come to terms with.

“What’s wrong?” Sarah asked, her demeanor shifting as she picked up on Emily’s confusion.

“Nothing. I just...I could have sworn that I left the lights off when I went to see Jason. It was daytime and I wouldn’t have....” Emily shook her head. God she wasn’t blacking out again. She wasn’t doing things and then forgetting about them, was she? She shook her head. “No big deal. Reginald probably turned them on for me or something.”

“Or something,” Sarah carefully checked her weapon as she moved stealthily out of the car. “Wait here.”

“What? Why?” Emily shrugged. “My forgetfulness doesn’t require you arming yourself.”

“What if whoever went after Carly decided that they could get to Jason through you as well?” Sarah asked pointedly and Emily paled.

“It never occurred to me.” Pause. “I didn’t think.”

“I know.” Sarah couldn’t keep a trace of smugness out of her voice. “But I have to. It’s what keeps me alive when others die.”

Sarah moved quietly to the gatehouse door, her gun drawn and ready to use.

She stopped just by the door, hearing movement from inside she motioned Emily back.

Taking a deep breath, she tested the door. Unlocked. Moving swiftly she opened the door and stepped inside, her gun aimed at the male figure standing in front of her.

The figure took one look at her and blinked. “Sarah? Sarah Webber? What are you doing with a gun and where is Emily?”

A stunned silence was the only response he got as both girls looked at each other warily.

The Motel

“I suppose you missed our five year high school reunion too?” Jagger quipped as he and Jason waited at the rendezvous spot at the docks. It had taken them only a few minutes to clean out the motel room, loading into leather duffel bags an assortment of weapons that had made Jason’s private cache at the penthouse seem decidedly amateurish. Any trace of the blood from the DVX agent Emily had killed had been destroyed in the freak electrical fire that had broken out after Jagger had checked out.

Jason had to admit that Jagger was good at what he did. Too good. He thought again of the scene he had interrupted between Jagger and his little sister. He wouldn’t allow anyone to hurt Emily again. He determinedly squelched the small voice that said that no one had hurt Emily as badly as he had. After all, it had been his rejection of her that had ended with her in that bathtub with a razor. God if she hadn’t been found and rescued.... He thought back to that time uneasily. He’d been furious at Emily, furious that she had almost killed Michael. He hadn’t stopped to think about the fact that she had almost killed herself. Either way, he hadn’t argued when Monica and Alan had agreed to put her in Ferncliff. They’d had to go to court because Emily was over 18, but there had been no trouble convincing the judge that Emily was unstable. She hadn’t fought it. She’d sat silent and motionless while the lawyers bickered and her parents argued and finally the judge sealed her fate. She hadn’t once looked up at him. They’d taken her away and Jason, caught by his own angry pride, had stood silent when even Carly had begged him to help Emily. Had reminded him of what Ferncliff had almost done to her. Was that what had driven Carly to help Emily? What had made Carly reach out to Emily when he wasn’t capable of it? God he could still remember the bitter fight he and Carly had when he realized that Carly had taken Micheal to Ferncliff to see Emily. He’d made her swear that she wouldn’t let Emily near Michael again. He realized now that the only thing Carly had agreed to was never to take Michael to Ferncliff again.....

He shook his thoughts away from the past and turned to Jagger. “What are you babbling about?”

Jagger shrugged, a devilish gleam in his eye. He could still remember Emily’s conviction that she wasn’t important to Jason. This man had hurt Emily and that fact, plus the tension he’d sensed in Sarah when she and Morgan had returned to the motel room, made him want to punch the jerk in the face. Reminding himself that Morgan was needed for the mansion, he decided to content himself with mocking the Borg instead. “Oh yeah. I forget that I forgot. Too bad you don’t remember how you and I competed for the same girl. I won of course. I guess I’ve always had the good looks, charm, and shall I say sex appeal that you lack. But hey, don’t worry about it. I’m sure being captain of the debate team and a member of the chess club is considered very sexy in some circles.”

Jason reminded himself that he had to play their game if he wanted to keep Michael safe. “I guess your sense of humor hasn’t approved any since high school.”

“At least my taste in clothes has,” Jagger said pointedly.

“How’s your taste in women?” Jason asked just as pointedly. “I saw Karen at GH last week. She’s pregnant again and glowing happy. Ecstatic even.” Jason had heard only the barest of outlines on the whole Jagger/Karen/Jason triangle thing from Robin when they were together and he had rarely seen Karen since she had returned to Port Charles, but Jagger didn’t have to know that, did he?

Jagger ignored the usual pain that came when he thought of Karen. “Whatever?” He managed a shrug. “I’ve moved on. Right now I happen to prefer tall brunettes with the most beautiful doe-like eyes and”

Jagger found himself pushed up against the wall. “I told you to leave my sister alone.”

“That’s your job isn’t it?” Jagger mocked. “I’m not one of your minions. You don’t scare me Morgan. I could kill you ten times over before you even knew what hit you. All I need is an excuse and I’m dying for you to give me one.”

“If you both don’t shut up and behave, then you’re both going to just find out just how bad PMS can really be.” Sarah snapped at the two of them as she approached. “Cates, you know what’s at stake here. If you can’t keep it under control than I’m sending you in.” Jagger scowled at her and she turned to Jason. “As for you Morgan, you keep forgetting who’s calling the shots like this and I’m afraid I’m going to have remind you the hard way.” She paused as her words sank in and the two men separated. “Jagger did you get us set up.”

Jagger nodded. “ We now have the apartment below Morgan’s. Our stuff is moved in and by the afternoon I should have surveillance all set up. We will be able to see, hear, and practically smell everything that goes on in that penthouse.”

“Good. What about the cars?”

“The remote cams we installed last week are still working.”

Jason looked up startled. They had had cameras in his cars and his men hadn’t discovered them?

Sarah smiled condescendingly. “I told you we were good.”

He ignored her last remark. “Did Emily get home okay?”

Sarah nodded, her eyes narrowed as she saw Jagger’s interest in the question even as he pretended a disinterest. “Except for the old boyfriend showing up, everything was fine.”

Jagger tensed even as Jason asked the question.. “Old boyfriend?”

“Yeah. He startled us a little” she thought back to the scene that had unfolded in the gatehouse. “but by the time I left they were looking really cozy.”

He wanted to kill him. With his bare hands. Or maybe a knife. The feel of the knife slicing through skin....

“Jagger?”

Aware that Sarah was trying to get his attention, Jagger turned in her direction.

“I told you to head back to the apartment and begin working on getting the rest of the surveillance set up. Kosokov arrives in 72 hours and I want to be ready. No surprises on this one.”

Jagger nodded, turned, and left.

Jason turned to Sarah. He watched her for a moment and for just a moment considered trying to apologize again for his earlier remarks, but thought better of it. She wouldn’t believe him and something in him rebelled at the thought of apologizing to the women who had kidnapped his son and was forcing him to play along with her nasty little charade. “What do you want me to do?

“Make me your mistress.”