Alexis had done many things in her thirty-six of living. Things done to survive her family and eventually escape them. The Cassadines no longer invaded her life, but she had not been able to stop herself from picking up some of their bad habits. True she had never murdered anyone, but lie on the other hand. She did that a lot.

Alexis had lied to Scott, her partner and friend; from the day she met him. She was terrified that he and the rest of the Baldwins would hate her. But what choice did she have, her loyalty laid elsewhere.

And in a few days he would be back in Port Charles again and Alexis knew her loyalty and friendship to Baldwins would be tested. Sighing she turned back to the paperwork in front of her. Hopefully she would be able to keep them both.

Kelly’s

“Nick,” McKenzie cried happily and ran up to her brother. “I scored the winning goal!”

Nick pulled his gaze from his brother, God it hurt to look at him knowing that Tanner knew. McKenzie was some how worse though, she looked up at him adoringly waiting for him congratulate her. He wanted too, more than anything he wanted to scoop up the sister he loved more than life itself and let her know how proud he was of her, how much he loved her. But Nick knew he did not have the right, he like his father was a monster. He did not deserve the pure goodness of his family. Not his family. anymore.

“Nick,” McKenzie said softly, a concern look on her face. She reached out to touch him.

Nick jumped back from her touch bumping a table that still needed clearing, the dishes clattered. He felt trapped by his brother gaze of knowing and his sister look of concern and hurt. It should not surprise him he thought angrily, he came from hurt perhaps that was all he was good at. Wanting to spare Tanner and McKenzie, Nick turned and walked out. No words. No explanations. Nothing. .

“Nick wait,” Tanner called out after him.

“I don’t understand,” McKenzie said upset clear on her face. She was fighting back tears. It was bad enough that her brother rejected her in front of Lucas; she did not want to cry as well.

Tanner was torn, go after his brother or stay with McKenzie. Both were hurting and needed him. Emily decided for him. “Stay with Mac,” she told him, squeezing his hand.

“Thanks,” Tanner whispered before Emily rushed out the door.

“That was strange,” Sly commented from behind the counter.

“Maybe you should go after him,” Caroline suggested to Stone.

“No I think he needs some time alone,” Stone replied with a shrug. “How about that chili?”

“Your stomach always comes first,” Caroline grumbled and headed back to the kitchen. “Sly, be useful and clear that table,” she called. Sly really did not want too, but it would give him a chance to be closer to Robin, who was busy with the others trying to sooth Nick’s sister.

Baldwin House

“You need to calm down,” Robert Scorpio told his best chum Scotty who was pacing back and forth in his study. The two had met when Scotty had worked at the district attorney’s office years ago. A young cop and a young lawyer both idealist and in love with beautiful, strong women. They had hit it off from the start.

“How can I? Nick…Robert he’s my,” Scotty emphasis the word, “son. He’s in pain and I don’t know how to help him.”

“He needs time.”

“We don’t have that. Spencer is getting out this weekend and will be back in Port Charles by Monday. How can I protect them, huh? Nick? Laura? Our family.”

“Scott…”

“I’m afraid. I’m afraid of losing him. Them. He almost destroyed her twenty years ago.”

“Laura is strong now. She has you. The kids. Her work. Scott you love her, she loves you; you’ve given your children a house full of love and support. Be proud of that. Believe in it. It will get you through this.”

“When the hell did you become Gandhi,” Scotty asked. The two laughed and some of the tension subsided.

Downstairs in the kitchen Laura and Anna were sitting sipping mint iced tea. “He’ll be fine,” Laura said trying to make herself believe it. “But maybe I should go look for him.”

“You’re the one who told Scotty that he needed time,” Anna reminded her.

“I know it’s just that…I want to hold him. I want him to know I love him. That he’s my son. My pride, my joy. That I wouldn’t change the past, that I would relive it again as long as I got to have him.”

Anna smiled sadly, and patted Laura’s hand. What happened twenty years ago could have changed her, but she managed to stay bright, kind and loving. Anna knew that Laura would do anything for her children, she felt the same way about Robin and Lucas her own babies. “He needs time to accept and believe.”

“What can I say? I’m selfish, I want him to believe now.”

“The shock has to wear off. Just give it time.”

“That’s the hard part. We don’t have a lot of that he’ll be back soon.”

“Maybe, but he can’t hurt you anymore,” Anna assured her.

“You’re wrong. He could hurt Nick,” Laura said simply. That would be the same as hurting her.

“We won’t let him okay. Will find away,” Anna promised.

Laura nodded and said a silent prayer. Let Anna be right.

The Park

“Nick,” Emily called chasing after him.

Nick finally stopped, the last thing he wanted was to talk, especially to Emily. “Leave me alone.”

“No,” Emily replied finally standing next to him. She huffed, trying to catch her breath. Now that she was near enough to actually talk to him she did not know what to say.

“Please Emily,” Nick asked. It hurt so much. And his head was still spinning with the revelation. His mother was raped. He was the product of that. Scott Baldwin the man he loved and admired was not his father, and should by all rights hate him. Did he perhaps? Nick tried to think back, but nothing leapt out at him. His father…Scott was always kind and loving to him. Nick could not understand it.

“I can’t. You’re hurt and you need someone. Let me help you.”

“You don’t understand. You don’t know what I am!”

“What do you mean? You’re Nick Baldwin…”

“No I’m not,” Nick cried harshly.

“No matter what Scott is your father. It takes more then blood to make family. I know that.”

Nick’s eyes narrowed, “What? How do you…” he stopped and started to back away

“Nick,” Emily cried worried and grabbed his arm.

“I’m a monster.”

“No.”

“All I do is hurt people.”

“You know that’s not true. You love Tanner and Mac and your parents.”

“Don’t you understand Emily,” Nick asked grabbing her shoulders, “I’m all that rape is. Ugly, painful, dirty…” as he continued with the list he squeezed her shoulders harder.

“You’re none of those things,” Emily said in a soothing tone. If Nick were not holding her immobile she would have reach out and physically tried to sooth him as well. “You’re not monster. You’re kind, funny, a great big brother, a loving son, a good friend…”

“Stop it,” Nick demanded. “I’m like him. I’m his blood.”

“What about your mother’s blood? You’re a part of her too! Nick she’s one of kindest women I’ve ever met. Does that count? Does what she gave you count?”

Nick shook his head. He was monster. He did not deserver his mother’s love or his brother and sister’s. He did not deserve friendship or good things. He did not deserver the kindness Emily was offering. How to make her see that, anyone to see that? He was a lost cause. No good.

“Nick,” Emily’s soft voice broke his thoughts. Nick could see her concern. She looked so beautiful, her deep eyes shimmering her cheeks still lightly flushed from running after him. She was pure goodness and kindness. He did not deserved that, but God did he crave it.

Emily did not know how it happened. It came out of know where. Nick’s lips crashing down on hers. It was a hard, abrasive kiss. The shock slid away almost immediately. She was sure he was doing this to make some kind of point; well she would be damn if she let him. Emily lifted her hands to his face and changed the tone of the kiss. Making it soft, giving, loving. She poured her heart into it to sooth his.

Lizzie smiled from behind the bush. Well, well, well she thought. Just the ammunition she needed to get Tanner away from the simpering brat. A gleeful smiled spread across her face as she rushed off to find Tanner.

“No,” Nick cried pushing Emily away. She stared up at him, her eyes hazed with confusion, sympathy and passion. All three terrified him. This was Emily Tanner’s girlfriend. Off limits to him.

“Nick…I…I’m so sorry…I shouldn’t…” Emily could not help the tears she felt pooling in her eyes. She was shaking, her emotions were going haywire. I love Tanner, she reminded herself. Then why did she feel drawn to Nick? It hadn’t been just for Tanner’s sake that she had followed Nick from Kelly’s.

“You didn’t….this is my fault…I tried to warn you,” Nick stammered. Emily eyes flashed with anger. “Don’t you dare,” Emily ordered. Nick did not listen to her. He had his proof. He was like Luke Spencer; he took what he wanted no matter whom it hurt. Without another word and turned and ran from Emily.