Chapter 13: Where do we go from here?

Intensive Care/ General Hospital

Will Rappaport gripped the slender and cold hand of Jessica Buchanan like it was a life line and in many ways for him it was just that. In his hand, Will held the very reason he existed at all and he knew it, which was why he was determined to hold on tight and let her know that he was here, he was waiting for her to wake up. Waiting for the chance to hold her in his arms again. To see her blue eyes shine the way that only hers ever could. The doctor had implored him to take a sedative and get some sleep, but Will had brushed him off. Exhausted and tired, fighting off the need of his own body to just shut down and recuperate, Will knew that he had to be here at her bedside to keep her safe.

To keep their child safe.

He buried his face in his hands as he put his head gently on the bed next to her, the scent of her clawing its way through the heavy smell of antiseptic to torment him, remind him of all that he stood to lose if the next 24 hours went bad.

The women he loved more than he had ever imagined he could love anyone. The child they had created out of that love.

No, he corrected himself silently, the second child they had created out of that love.

He couldn't do it. He couldn't even begin to imagine what it would feel like if they lost this child too. Losing Megan, well losing Megan had torn a whole in his heart that he knew in some ways would never, could never, be healed.

And he flinched when he remembered what losing Megan had done to Jessica.

How could she endure it if she lost another child? How could anything ever be okay again for either of them if Jessica miscarried this child? A child that up until two hours ago he hadn't even known existed. Had Jessica? Probably not. If she had, she would have told him, the joy he had felt when the doctor had first said the word pregnant would have been flowing out of her, escaping with her every thought, her every breath, her every action.

God he wanted this child. He wanted Jessica and he wanted their child. His family. A child who would be raised secure in the knowledge that both of HIS parents loved each other.

A child who was part him and part this incredible young woman whose love he had been blessed with.

He couldn't handle losing either of them he realized as his shoulders began to shake as quiet sobs shuddered through his body. He felt a strong hand go around his shoulder and a solid familiar presence at his side.

"It's going to be okay."

He hadn't heard the door open and he turned to see Nikolas staring at him, all quiet Cassadine strength.

"They're both going to be okay." Nikolas half smiled. "You have the word of a Cassadine on that."

Will almost returned the smile. "The word of a Cassadine huh?" The lofty phrase brought back memories of their years in boarding school and all of the scraps they'd gotten into and somehow or another managed to get themselves out of. Will would be the wheeler and dealer, promising the world to the guard at the gate or the groundskeeper or the graduate assistant or the prefect or whoever they needed a favor from. Oh yeah, Will had been the one to drive the bargain but it had always been to the younger boy, the quiet and solemn young prince, that they had turned to for assurance that the bargain would be kept. How many times had that phrase "the word of a Cassadine" gotten them out of trouble. Too many times for him to keep track of. He shook his head slowly. "You can't promise that Nik. We're grown ups now and we both know too well that there isn't always a happy ending." He paused. "The last few years should have proven that to you beyond a shadow of a doubt."

Nikolas went to stand beside his friend, his head bowing as he looked at the almost still form of Jessica Buchanan. "I know that sometimes bad things happen. I lost my brother. You lost your daughter. But I also know that sometimes incredibly wonderful things happen too. You and Jessica. Me and Emily. Sometimes God really does give us miracles."

"And sometimes he takes them away." Will's voice was low and anguished. "This isn't fair. Jess has been through so much this last year. Losing Megan and then being hit by that damned truck at Christmas. No one deserves to be hurt as much as she has been this last year." He bit his lip as he tried to hold back his own emotions. "We were just beginning to enjoy our "happily ever after" you know?"

"I know." Nikolas kept his voice quiet but confident. "And you'll get the chance to enjoy even more of it when Jess gets out of here. You and Jess and the new baby are going to be a family. I'm kind of counting on it actually." Nik took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly. "You know ever since Lucky died I've been thinking of all the things I won't get to do for my brother. Standing up for him at his wedding. Passing out cigars for him when he has his first child. Buying him incredibly tacky and useless Christmas presents that he'll be forced to hold onto forever because I gave them to him." Nikolas looked at Will solemnly. "I will never get to do those things for my flesh and blood brother and I've come to accept that only because I've promised myself that I will get to do those things for you. You are my brother in my heart and in my soul Will and I will always be there for you, for Jessica, and for your family." Silence. "Just like you have always been there for me."

Will stared at Nik, for one of the few times in his life momentarily bereft of speech. "I don't know what to say."

Nik cocked an eyebrow. "That I don't believe."

Will nodded. "No I do know what to say."

"See I told you."

Will ignored the jibe as he moved to embrace Nikolas. "I know this is going to embarrass the hell out of you Cassadine- but I do love you, you know."

Nikolas shrugged as he returned the hug for a moment before turning to pull up a chair so he could join his best friend in his vigil. "I'm a Cassadine. We know everything."

Will rolled his eyes but said nothing as the silence descended again for a few minutes.

"You have men looking into what happened tonight." It was a statement not a question.

Nikolas nodded. "The best." A hesitant pause. "So does Jason. He thinks whoever did this is the person who has been threatening Emily."

"So do I."

"Yeah, me too." Nikolas ran a hand through his hair. "If I could just figure out why I could figure out who. Or at least have a shot at figuring out what they'll do next."

Will kept quiet about Jessica's suspicions regarding Elizabeth Webber even as the hand not holding onto Jessica tightened on the piece of paper he had picked up from the trash bin outside of Kelly's. Somehow he didn't think Nikolas was ready to hear the truth about the sainted Ms. Webber. He still saw Elizabeth as the woman his brother had loved and the woman he had sworn to take care of.

Of course if Nikolas suspected that Elizabeth was any kind of threat to Emily.....well he wouldn't want to be in Ms. Webber's shoes when that Cassadine anger was flaring.

Which was exactly why he wasn't going to tell Nik anything yet.

If Elizabeth Webber had any connection to Jessica being plunged into that river tonight, than he wanted to be the one to take care of her.

Elizabeth, or whoever had threatened Jessica's life and the life of their child had made a mistake.

And they would soon realize that in many ways a Rappaport could be more dangerous than a Cassadine had ever dreamed of being.

GH, The Cafeteria:

Emily smiled tiredly at the cashier as she paid for the three cups of coffee and what she hoped were at least halfway edible chicken salad sandwiches that she had found stuck in the back of the deli case.

She hated feeling this helpless, hated the idea that there was nothing more she could do than sit around and wait while her best friend fought for her life and the life of her unborn child.

Emily looked around at the dull apricot colored walls and unconsciously made a face. She hated hospitals. She even hated this hospital which she supposed was the kind of statement she should never make out loud.

Of course she might hate them because she always seemed to be hanging around one, either as a patient or in the waiting room. Her mother's illness. Monica's illness. Jason's accident. Her own drug use. Jason's shooting. Michael's birth. Juan's beating. The list seemed endless.

She shrugged, maybe she should use some of her trust fund and replace those miserable chairs in the waiting room with Lazy-Boy recliners.

Sighing, she turned and began to head down the hallway to Jessie's room when she heard a familiar voice. "You weren't planning on serving that swill to anyone, I hope?" Emily smiled at the figure which approached with a slight shudder. "And those sandwiches? Well I guess if you are going to give someone food poisoning a hospital is as good a place as any other to do it."

"Do you have a better suggestion?"

"As a matter of fact, yes I do," Reginald smiled at his favorite, besides Lila, Quartermaine as he brought out a basket filled with sandwiches and a hot thermos of Cook's best coffee. "Your grandmother sent me as soon as she heard what happened to Miss. Jessica. Cook made her special coffee and a slew of sandwiches. You know Jessie has always been a favorite of hers." He took the tray of food out of Emily's hands and ceremoniously dumped it in the nearest trash can with no little pleasure. "How is she?"

Emily looked down sadly as she and Reggie walked the rest of the way down the silent corridors. "They...don't know I guess. I mean the doctors say she should be fine but they won't know for sure until she wakes up. Plus she's pregnant and she could lose the baby." Emily shook her head. "I don't know what she'll do if she loses another child." Emily unconsciously echoed Will's earlier fear.

"She'll be okay. She has a great friend in you." Reginald spoke softly. "Besides we are talking about the same Jessica Buchanan who helped you lead Edward Quartermaine and Asa Buchanan on a wild goose chase through Mexico when you were just kids, aren't we?"

"Shhhhh...." Emily dropped her voice into a stage whisper. "You know we aren't supposed to talk about "the Mexican incident" anywhere within a 100 mile radius of Grandfather."

Reggie grinned. "I forgot."

"But grandfather never will." Emily quipped.

"It's good to see you smiling again." Reginald looked her over. "You look happy underneath all that worry over Jessica."

Emily smiled slightly as she thought of what had had happened between herself and Nikolas earlier. She couldn't help it. As worried as she was about Jess, she was also incredibly happy about Nikolas. Nikolas loved her. Nikolas Cassadine loved her.

How weird was that? She sighed inwardly. She just wished she could remember all of the events of the last year. She wanted to remember the first time Nikolas had looked at her in that way. Their first kiss. The first time he whispered those words to her. She was remembering things slowly, bits and pieces mostly, but it was like trying to put together a jigsaw puzzle when most of the pieces were missing.

"Emily."

This time the voice made her wince as she and Reginald stopped and she turned slowly around.

"Juan." Her voice almost cracked with a self-imposed guilt. With everything that had been going on, she hadn't given her supposed boyfriend any thought at all for the last 12 hours. "Hi." She smiled weakly as she motioned for Reginald to take the food and coffee into the waiting room.

"I heard about your friend's accident and I stopped by to see if there was anything I could do."

"That was very sweet of you." Emily smiled. Juan had always been sweet and caring, maybe a little bit overbearing and possessive but at least he had noticed her. She cared about him, she really did. It wasn't his fault that he wasn't Nikolas and therefore Emily had been unable to really and truly love him.

"You are my girlfriend after all." Juan grinned.

Emily took a deep breath. "No I'm not and we both know it." She said the words calmly, not angry with him because he had gone along with what she mistakenly believed. She knew he had pretended for her sake. She just wanted it all, the pretending and the lies, over with so she and Nikolas could go on with the rest of their lives.

Nikolas was right. If she never remembered the last year with him it would be okay because she would have the next 80 or so instead.

"You remember." Was that anger in Juan's tone or just concern? She shook her head and decided that she was overreacting. "Some. Not all. I just ....I remember that Nikolas and I are together."

"Oh right. Just you and the prince." Juan's voice dripped with sarcasm. "Did he tell you how the two of you got together?"

"No." Emily said, suddenly uneasy. Had she cheated on Juan with Nikolas? She wasn't that kind of person, at least she didn't remember being that kind of person.

"He didn't tell you how he took advantage of the fact that you were alone and away from home? He didn't tell you that when I came to Pennsylvania to be with you for the holidays he had Jason's goons chase me away?" His voice lowered. "And he didn't tell you that he's just using you to get over his guilt because he's in love with his dead brother's fiancee?" Juan smiled in satisfaction as Emily paled. "I didn't think so."

"It wasn't like that." Emily managed to stammer as her mind whirled with bits and pieces of images that threatened to fit together in a picture that she knew instinctively she wasn't going to like.

"How do you know? You don't even remember what happened."

Emily took a deep breath. "I know because I know Nikolas and he wouldn't do that. Not to me."

"Oh no Nikolas would never use you, would he? Not Saint Cassadine. I hate to burst your bubble but you haven't forgotten about Katherine Bell have you? Or that little encounter the three of you had on your birthday? Your birthday Em. It was your birthday and he was f**king that bitch in your own house. You do remember that, don't you?"

"Why are you doing this?"

Juan stepped forward, grabbing her shoulders and forcing her to look at him. "Because I love you. I love you Emily Quartermaine. I know that things between us haven't always been perfect, but I have never hurt you and I never would. You're my girlfriend, the most important person in the world to me. Can Cassadine say the same?"

"Nikolas loves me."

"Now. At this moment. But do you think he'll still be yours when someone better comes along. Someone prettier? Someone sexier? Someone more sophisticated? You've never been good enough for Cassadine before, why should you be good enough now?" Juan jeered softly. "Cassadine is never going to give you the happily ever after you deserve. He'll hurt you again."

"No he won't."

"Yes he will. I just want you to remember when he does that I'll be here for you. I'll always be here for you." Juan's voice softened. "I love you Emmy. "

"I think you should step away from her Santiago," Nikolas's quiet voice cut through the room and Emily took a step back and breathed deeply. "In fact I think you should leave now before I decide to show you out myself." A pause. "The hard way."

"I'll leave, but you know where to find me when, not if, you come to your senses Em."

Emily watched him leave in stunned silence. When had he become so vindictive? Had something happened to change him over the last year? Or had he always been that way and she had never noticed.

And the scariest thought of all, was he right?

"Em? Sweetheart?" Nikolas's arm went around her as he silently cursed Juan Santiago to hell and back. Didn't he know that Em was still too fragile, emotionally and physically, to be subjected to Caveboy's tantrums? Gently he pulled Emily closer, trying to still her trembles with the warmth of his body. "You okay?" He dropped a gentle kiss on her forehead as his hold on her tightened.

She nodded. "I'm fine." Resolutely she turned her eyes away from the corridor that Juan had disappeared to and back to Nikolas, feeling herself blush at the look of open devotion in his eyes.

Juan was wrong. Nikolas loved her. She could feel it in his touch, see it his eyes, hear it in his voice. She smiled at Nik. "How is Jessica?"

"The same. Will's still in with her. The good news is that the baby is still holding on. The bad news is that Jess still hasn't woken up."

Emily shivered and Nik held her tighter. "I should take you home," he whispered softly. "It hasn't been that long since you were in the hospital yourself."

"I'm fine." She repeated her earlier words.

Nik shook his head. "You're exhausted."

"I just need some fresh air."

Nik grinned as an idea came to him and he checked his watch. "Just in time. Come on."

He led her down the corridor she and Reginald had come. "Nik," she protested. "Jess's room is the other direction."

"We'll be back." He opened the door leading to the stairwell and motioned her inside. As he started to guide her up the flight of stairs, Em stopped him.

"Nikolas Cassadine I refuse to move another inch until you tell me where we are going."

He stopped and smiled at her, the kind of smile that made her blush down to her toes. The kind of smile that made her remember in vivid detail exactly what they were doing when Alan interupted them with news of Jessica's accident.

Slowly Nik stepped down until he was level with her. "I have this sudden overwhelming urge to show the woman I love more than anything else what the sunrise looks like from the roof of GH." He grinned lopsidedly at her. "Care to join me?"

"Do you Nikolas? Love me I mean." She hated the insecurity in her voice but she couldn't help it.

"More than I ever believed I could ever love anyone," Nik whispered huskily.

Emily returned his kiss fervently.

Juan was wrong. He had to be.

Outside of GH, Juan stopped, flipped open his cell phone, and dialed a familiar number.

"Hello."

"Morning Elizabeth."

"Juan? It's not even six yet. What are you doing calling me this early? Or have you been too busy enjoying your brief delusions of grandeur to notice the time?" An edge to her tone. "And I told you not to call me that name."

"Very funny Elizabeth ," Juan scowled as he deliberately emphasized her full name. Liz was useful, but that didn't mean he had to like working with her. "While you've been grabbing some desperately needed beauty sleep, I have been working on a project near and dear to both of our hearts."

"You've seen Nikolas."

"Unfortunately yes." He paused. "And Emily."

"Together."

"Yes."

"Damn it. You swore when she received those pictures it would be over or I would never have agreed to pose for them." He could hear her swearing quietly. "Besides I thought as far as Little Miss Wonderful was concerned everything between the two of you was kopasetic."

"It was until Cassadine interfered."

"Nikolas is mine. I won't lose him. I can't lose him. He's all I have left of... I won't lose Nikolas. Not to Emily. Not to anybody."

"You won't. We just have to move on to Plan B. You do remember Plan B, don't you?"

"Of course I remember." A pause. "Are you sure it's necessary? I don't like the idea of hurting Nikolas."

"Drugging Cassadine isn't going to hurt him." Juan scoffed. "And you do want to break them up for good, don't you?"

"You know I do."

"Then this is the only way. You drug Cassadine and set up a scene for Emily to walk in on, something she will NEVER forget or forgive. Emily will dump Cassadine and you'll be there to pick up the pieces."

"And sweet little Emily will go running back to you."

"That's the plan."

"What if Emily doesn't just lick her wounds and run away? What if she confronts him and they put two and two together?"

"She won't. I know Emily, when it comes to Cassadine she has an insecurity streak a mile long." He grinned as he remembered their earlier conversation. It had been so easy to push her buttons. "She'll be too hurt that the Prince is repeating history to ever talk to him again. Look at how she freaked out about a few pictures. Wait until she sees your little act in person. She won't want to be in the same room with Nikolas much less actually talk to him."

"I hope you're right."

"I know I am." He looked at his watch. "Look I have to go to Sonny's and play faithful stepson for a while. I'll be in touch later and we can work out the details."

It was only after he hung up that Juan realized that Elizabeth had been wide awake when she answered the phone.

Jessica's Room in Intensive Care

The man by the bed had finally given in to his body's need to sleep, so he failed to see the little girl who appeared behind him.

She smiled and then frowned, her blue eyes mirroring her emotions perfectly. Her long blonde hair hung softly in waves down her back and her white dress, tied with a blue ribbon, made no sound as she moved across the room.

She looked around the room silently and then frowned again. "You might as well come out," her voice was strong despite its youth. "I know you're here."

Silence. The young girl tried again. "It's okay." Her voice was a gentle breeze that carried through the room. "I know you're scared but nothing bad is going to happen you. I promise."

She hear a movement in the corner behind the bed Jessica's still silent figure reclined on. Carefully, as if she was afraid he would run away if she frightened him, the little girl approached. "It's okay. You can come out now. I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you."

The little boy, barely a toddler, merely stayed where he was, his large dark eyes huge and his wavy hair fell across his eyes as he sucked solemnly on his thumb.

The girl smiled. "You look like him."

The boy looked at her in puzzlement and she reached out a hand for him. After a second, he put his grubby little hand trustingly in hers and emerged from his hiding place. She touched his hair reverently as she blinked back her own tears. "You look just like our daddy." She knelt down so that she was looking straight into his eyes.

"Hello baby brother. I'm Megan. I'm your big sister." She smiled gently at him. "I'm here to help."

"I'm scared."

"That's why you're hiding isn't it?" Megan hugged him fiercely. "You don't have to be afraid of anything ever again. I'm going to protect you. Always."

"It was dark." The little boy glanced over at Jessica. "She was scared."

"And that scared you?"

The little boy nodded. "So you decided to hide?"

Another nod. "Are you still scared?"

A moment's pause. Then another nod.

"I see," Megan considered slowly. "I understand. I mean there's a lot of things to be scared of." A quiet sigh. "You can come with me, you know. Where I am, there's nothing to be afraid of."

The boy looked at her for a moment as Megan continued. "I mean if you are really that scared you can come with me and I promise that I will never leave you." Megan hugged him tighter. "But I think you should stay."

Gently, she turned her brother around so that he was facing the bed where Jessica lay unconscious and Will had fallen asleep worrying about her. "You see, as much as I love you, they love you too. Very very much. And they would miss you horribly if you came with me." Megan blinked back what looked like tears. "And they already spend too much time missing me as it is, I don't want them to miss you too. I love them too much to want them to hurt like that again."

"Nice." The little boy pointed at his parents and Megan laughed.

"They are very nice. Mommy's beautiful and sweet and nice and Daddy loves her so much. Daddy is the bravest and best Daddy in the whole wide world and Mommy loves him as much as he loves her." She looked at the two of them longingly. "And that's what makes us special, you know. Their love created us, not many are created from love these days. It's getting pretty rare." She paused as she gently brushed her hand across her brother's cheek. "I know its scary but you are going to be surrounded by so much love that the fear won't stand a chance. Close your eyes little one, can you feel the love for you that's in this room?" She murmured softly as he closed his eyes. "If you can just try not to be so afraid I promise you that you will have a wonderful life full of the love that you are feeling right now. Mommy and Daddy will love you so much. I know they will because I know how much they love me so I know they'll love you. And I haven't even told you about Grandma Vicki or Grandpa Clint or Grandma Lindsey or Grandpa Sam or all the other people who will love you too." She kissed him gently on the back of his head. "How can you be afraid with so much love waiting for you?"

The boy hesitated and then turned around to face his sister. "You come too."

Megan's smile was infinitely sad. "I wish I could, but I can't. I have to stay here. But don't worry, I'll always be with you in here," she touched his heart gently, "and I'll always look out for you. Anytime you want to talk, I'll be here to listen. And someday we'll all be together again, you and me and Mom and Dad. I promise, okay?"

"I want you to come." The boy pouted as he looked like he wanted to cry.

"No," Megan shook her head. "I can't come with you but I'm never going to leave you."

"Want to stay with you." A pause. "Love you."

"Oh little brother you don't know how much I love you too." Megan hugged him gently. " I need you to go back to them, okay? With you, they won't miss me so much. I mean I know they'll always love me as much, but with you around they won't miss me so badly and some of their sadness will go away." A pause. "And so will some of mine."

The little boy stared at his sister solemnly. "Okay."

Megan smiled a huge smile and then hugged him tight. "I knew you'd make the right choice." She pulled him into one final hug. "Take care of them for me."

The little boy nodded as he turned and walked towards Jessica, slowly dissolving the closer he got until there was no trace of him remaining anywhere except his sister's heart.

Softly Megan approached her still sleeping father and gently placed a hand on his shoulder. "It's going to be okay, Daddy. They're both going to be okay."

Sleepily, Will opened his eyes and blinked at the image of the young girl standing next to him.

"Megan?" His voice cracked but before he had finished whispering her name she was gone.

Next chapter:

A familiar face arrives from Llanview, Jessica wakes up to a surprise, Nikolas's trust is betrayed, and Emily's worst nightmare comes true.

And oh yeah, someone gets shot.