Emily stood shakily and took a few steps away from Nikolas, the hot summer day suddenly seeming a whole lot colder.

“What did you just say?” She asked tremulously.

Nikolas ran a tanned hand through his dark hair. God he hated this. Hated seeing that look in her eyes. He closed his eyes and prayed for the right words before he opened them again and his eyes locked with hers, neither of them looking away.

“I swore to you that I would never lie to you Emily...” He began hesitantly but she interrupted, her voice bitter.

“I get it. Lying to me is a no-no but cheating on me is okay....”

“No!” Nikolas lowered his voice. He had to make her understand and he knew her well enough to know that shouting, the normal course of communication for Quartermaines, was only going to make her tune him out. “I didn’t cheat on you.”

Emily bit her lip. “You can’t have it both ways. You either slept with Elizabeth or you didn’t. Obviously you must have if there’s even the remotest possibility that these pictures might be real.”

“I don’t know that they are. I can’t imagine .....there weren’t any pictures...oh hell. Dammit Emily you have to believe me when I say that I love you.”

“I believe what I see. This is you naked. Elizabeth naked. I may not have your sexual experience but I think even I can connect the dots on this one.”

“I’m not going to lie to you.”

“Oh? We’re back to that again?” Emily’s voice was dripping with sarcasm and hurt.

“Would you just listen to me? Please.” When Emily didn’t say anything he paused for a moment and then continued. “Yes I slept with Elizabeth.”

“You mean you made love with her.”

“No. It wasn’t love. It was...I don’t know something. But it wasn’t love. It wasn’t one tenth of what I feel just being in the same room with you.” Nikolas moved forward and tried to conceal his hurt when Emily took a few more steps backward. “It happened before you and I got together. When Elizabeth and I were still dating.”

“You were lovers.” Emily felt the bottom shift away.

“Once. Just once. I was lonely and she was lonely and it just happened.”

“It didn’t just happen. Things like this don’t “just happen” You made love with Elizabeth. You and Liz were lovers.”

“No. God Em I keep telling you it wasn’t love. It was lust and maybe loneliness. Don’t make it more than it was.”

“I’m not the one who did that. You did that by lying to me.”

“I didn’t lie to you. I just didn’t tell you the truth.” He shrugged. “All I wanted was a chance with you. A chance to build the kind of relationship we have. I thought if I told you everything that happened between Liz and me whatever chance I had would be gone forever. You didn’t ask so I didn’t tell.” He hesitated. “I’m sorry. God I’m more sorry than you’ll ever know. I thought I was protecting you and all I’ve done was hurt you worse. I thought I was doing the right thing.”

“There’s the Cassadine in you shining through. A lie of omission is still a lie Nikolas. Or don’t they teach you anything about ethics and values when you are a Prince?”

“I didn’t lie about how I feel about you. These last six months have been the best thing that has ever happened to me. You are the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“For now. For the moment. Until something better comes along.”

“Nothing better than you is ever going to come along.” He reached for her and this time she didn’t pull away, although she didn’t respond to his embrace either. “And nothing better for you than me is ever going to come along either. I love you Emily Quartermaine. Don’t let one stupid act done before I pledged my love to you destroy both of us.”

“Don’t you see Nikolas? All these months I thought I knew you better than anyone and now I know that there’s someone, no make that two someone’s who know you better than I do.” She didn’t bother to hide the tears cascading down her face.

“Emily no. Please God no.” He took a deep breath. How did he dispel her fears, how did he fix this and make it better? He pulled her closer until his lips rested on her forehead. “I love you. You are the only one who really knows me. You do know me better than anyone. You know my secrets, my fears, my dreams, all of it. You know my soul because you are my soul. What happened before you, it was just physical. Yes I had sex with Elizabeth and yes I had sex Katherine. But I swear to you that I never felt the connection to them that I feel with you.”

“There is no connection between us Nikolas, it was just a fantasy. A figment of my imagination. It wasn’t real.” Emily said the words softly even as her fingers lingered on his chest, unable to not touch him when they were this close.

“Dammit. Of course it was real. It’s the only thing that’s real to me.”

“No Nikolas. I was stupid. God so stupid. All these months I thought you loved me the way I want to be loved, the way I deserved to be loved. I thought I’d found a home where I belong, finally. All I found was this illusion. I don’t believe in make believe anymore.”

The finality of her words terrified him. “Emily don’t do this. You’re upset. I know the pictures upset you. I’ll find out who sent them to you and they’ll pay, I swear it. And in the meantime we’ll take it easy and you’ll learn to trust me again. Just give it time.”

“I can’t. I can’t do this again. Knowing that you slept with Katherine just about killed me. But at least you were honest about that, to a point anyway. Using my friendship as an excuse to come to the mansion so you could screw your girlfriend on my birthday, that I could have lived without. This. These pictures. This image. I can’t do this Nikolas. Every time I look at you, I’d see this picture. She’s beautiful. Desirable. Why shouldn’t you want her? You brother did. Maybe it runs in the family. Maybe you should never have broken up with her in the first place.”

“Dammit Emily. I wanted to break up with Elizabeth. I-am-not-in-love-with-Elizabeth -Webber.”

Emily closed her eyes. “Don’t you see Nikolas? That kind of makes it worse. You tell me that you love me and despite my best intentions a part of me wants to believe that you do.”

“You can. I do. God I do.”

“Then why haven’t we made love? Why can’t I be the one “things happen” with?”

“Emily.” Nikolas swore softly. He knew she was hurt, he knew that he had hurt her, but she just wasn’t making sense. He lowered his voice to a soft whisper. “I love you. Not making love to you....that isn’t about my not loving you or my not wanting to. There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t think about making love to you. I just...I want it to be right for you. I had this plan in the back of my head that we would go to Greece on this vacation and that I would take you to this secluded beach I know and.... I would show you with my touch what you have a hard time believing in my words- how much I love you.”

“Do you know how hard it is for me to believe that you love me when it seems like since the moment we met it’s always been somebody else for you? Sarah. Robin. Katherine. Elizabeth.”

“Emily nothing’s changed. I still love you. You knew that Elizabeth and I were together. Just like I knew that you and Juan were together. Who we were with before we fell in love has nothing to do with who we are since we fell in love.”

“I want to think like you do. I want to be able to close my eyes and pretend like you sleeping with Elizabeth doesn’t mean anything. I want more than anything to believe in your love at this moment like I did before I ever saw this damned photograph.”

“You can, Emily. You can. Nothing’s changed.”

“No Nikolas. I can’t. Everything’s changed. I found out that you lied to me. How can anything ever be okay again?” Emily asked softly as she pulled away from him.

Their eyes met and held, brown eyes mingled with a pain that was reflected in them both.

“Don’t do this Em. Don’t give up on us.”

“You say that a lot Nikolas. But the truth is you gave up on me when you made the decision to begin our relationship with a lie.” Gently she reached up and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“Goodbye.” She whispered softly and turned to walk away.

“Emily!” He started to follow her and then stopped. “I’m not going to let you do this.”

She turned then and the picture she had been holding fluttered softly to the ground. “You really don’t have a choice Nikolas.”

Nikolas picked up the photograph as he watched her walk away. The silence of the late afternoon was punctuated only by the occasional river gull overhead.

“I do have a choice. And my choice is you Emily Quartermaine. I’m not going to let this happen. I’m not losing you. Somehow I’ll find a way to make you listen and make you understand. You will forgive me. And I will hold you again. And we will be together.”

Nikolas made each sentence a vow as he watched her disappear towards the house. His gaze shifted back to the photograph. “But first I’m going to find the person responsible for this and I know exactly where to begin.”

And with those words, Nikolas savagely crumpled the photo in his hand.