Okay, this is where it begins. I'm a bit nervous, but I know it's time to sort myself out once and for all. For a short time, while I'm getting myself used to this diet, I'll be writing down everything I eat/drink. But soon I'll be starting a Slimming-World class around the corner from my new job (which I start next week). So when that happens I'll stop posting my menu here.
Today wasn't so bad. I had made sure everything I was going to eat for breakfast and lunch was packed and ready to take to work. Waking up these days seems to be a chore in itself. Probably coz I've put on so much weight and I'm feeling worn out. But I expect that will change as I get fitter and thinner.
No major temptations at work. I had quite a bit of work to do. I'm training a girl in the office to take over from me when I leave on Friday. So I was busy helping her, and doing my own work. I felt a bit of residue of the shock I experienced when I saw my photos. Wow... I hadn't realised that's how big I'd gotten.
I started to get hungry just before I left work. Went to the supermarket on the way home and bought a few ingredients so that I could make my own Sushi. And I did roll some Sushi tonight (which I haven't done in ages). I'll take it to work tomorrow for lunch :)
As I said... today was easy. But the first day generally is. I'm going to follow the Slimming World diet (there's a link below in case you're interested). And that's a combination diet. You have Green (mostly vegetarian) days, and Red (most meat) days. Doesn't matter which day you choose, so long as you don't mix the days in one 24 hour period.
Okay, so I chose a Green Day today. My menu for today was...
Breakfast - Punnet of Strawberries, Multivitamin, and Herbal Tea (Free foods)
Okay... time for bed. Feeling a bit peckish but my willpower is happening this early in the game :)
Wednesday, 13th August, 2003
I woke up feeling slightly better than usual which is a good sign isn't it? I'm still quite proud of how I did yesterday. This morning I had my raspberries, choco low fat yogurt and banana all ready to take to work. It IS much nicer having a healthy breakfast in the morning, which makes me question why I tend to gravitate towards the unhealthy stuff?
When I'm not dieting it's so easy to pop down to Waitrose before work and grab one of their Cumberland Sausages in a roll... with lashings of butter and tomato ketcup. See? Doesn't that sound awful? My brekkie this morning is much nicer, makes me feel better and even looks prettier (with all the colours of course). So why isn't it my first choice when I'm doing whatever I want? Hmmm...
It's my second last day on the job (yippee). In a way it's a shame to leave the familiarity of this job (dietwise). The big test will be whether I can maintain my good behaviour with the uncertainty of my new surroundings. And next week especially will be hard coz I'm doing training out of the office for 4 days! Let's see how good I am then!
Okay, better get some work done. I'll probably write again today coz I've gotta complete my food diary for the day.
For lunch today I had my homemade sushi (not bad actually). Except I forgot to bring soy sauce, so I sprinkled a little balsamic vinegar (not even half as good!). Tomorrow I'll remember the Soy! Everything I'd eaten so far was Sin Free, but by around 3pm I was quite hungry so I popped down to Waitrose and bought some of their Mushroom and Tofu sausages (sin free) and salad (free). The only sins I had was about 2 tablespoons of olive oil on the dressing (2 Healthy options... wow that's a lot).
For dinner I'm planning to have some pasta (sin free) with home made hummus (9 sins for 2 tablespoons). I must remember not to put any oil on my salad tonight!
It was a bit stressful this afternoon at work. I got a phonecall from the Director of HR asking me about one of my coworkers. She needed confirmation of very negative things she'd been hearing and I couldn't actually lie to her (that would be stupid). So I was honest. It was stressful and I wonder if that's why I'm so hungry suddenly? Hmmm... something to think about.
There was an interesting article in the Metro today about the Atkins Diet. I think I'll place link on this page so you can see the article. I didn't know Dr. Atkins died of a heart attack! How depressing, after all the hype he gave us about how the Atkins diet was good for your heart! Another Hmmm...
Anyhoo... I ate a bit more than I promised I would. But I don't think I've broken my diet today. Let's see.
Breakfast:
Punnet of raspberries (yummy) (free)
Banana (free)
MillerLite Choco Yogurt (free)
Lunch:
Home made Vegetarian Sushi (free)
Snack:
Mixed Green Salad with Waitrose Mushroom and Tofu sausages (free)
Balsamic Vinegarette dressing with 2 tblspns olive oil (2 healthy choice b options)
Dinner:
Rice (free)
Home made hummus with 1 tblspn tahini (4.5 sins)
Salad with balsamic vinegar and sesame oil dressing (6 sins)
After Dinner (oops):
Home made sushi with soy sauce (free)
So... I've done okay (even though I think I ate too much and I feel a bit full). Total sins = 10.5 (which is within the range).
Groovy!
Thursday, 14th August, 2003
Today I woke up hungry! That's a good sign right? It means my belly isn't full of food as usual and that I'm on my way to shrinking it a little. At least I hope it's a good sign, coz at the time I thought "Huh oh... am I always going to feel like this?"
It's lovely to see tomorrow (my last day in this yucky job) on the horizon. And think I'm finding it pretty easy to diet because I'm feeling so positive lately. It was a little depressing at lunch time though - I went for a walk to South Kensington to check out some of the Charity Shops there. And I tried on a "large" pair of Calvin Klein yoga pants (you know - those extra loose, floppy 100% and very stretchy sort of pants). They were so tight that I could hardly breathe! Damn Calvin Klein!
I'm still hungry about an hour after lunch. But I'm assuming that gradually this feeling will cease to occur? I certain hope so, coz it's a bit hard concentrating on goofing off at work if my tummy is rumbling.
Okay, today's menu was:
Breakfast: An orange, a banana and MullerLight Choco Yogurt (free)
Lunch: Sushi again (no soy sauce which means it was icky and dry) (free)
Around 3pm: A can of Heinz Spaghetti Bolognese (free - believe it or not)
Dinner: Tomatos, Waitrose Vege Sausages, assorted sprouts and veggies (free)
It sure does seem as though I'm eating too much food to be on a diet, doesn't it? I wonder whether this is going to work?
By the way, finally weighed myself (see above). Will also do my measurements today hopefully. How very depressing :(
Friday, 15th August, 2003
Today wasn't actually a bad day at all. There was a lot of confusion at work on account of the power-outages in New York. It affected our Centre in London too. So it was a little confusing for everyone. But the good news was that because of the confusion, the Boss couldn't take us all out for the Goodbye lunch he had promised me. So I managed to stick to my diet!
It's a relief to leave that job. I didn't belong there and that was frustrating. I think one of the reasons why I became so big this past year was coz I was always listening to something I didn't agree with, or going to a job I didn't like, or having to put up with being discounted or ignored whenever I made constructive improvement suggestions, etc. It's hard to live like that, when you feel as though you are underappreciated or underutilised. I'm very nervous but also very excited about my new job opportunity. Can't wait to start actually.
I was thinking about showing up on Friday (after my training) to the new job with a treat for the staff... perhaps afternoon tea or something? Just because. It will throw them off guard and will be a nice way to start our relationship. I'll have to think about that. I might just do it!
Okay, don't feel much like typing too much more. So will finish off with today's food diary:
Breakfast: Heinz Macaroni and Cheese (free)
Morning Snack: Raspberries, Orange, Toffee flavoured MullerLite Yogurt (free)
Lunch: Waitrose Vege Sausages, Mixed salad with Balsamic Vinegar (free)
Dinner: Rice with Peas and Spinach (free)
Evening Snack: 1 apricot and 1 peach (free)
I'm still a bit hungry, and I have sins left (about 4-6) so I might have some toast with margarine 2 tsps and vegemite (that will mean I've had about 12 sins today (which is on the high end of Okay).
Saturday, 16th August, 2003
Today was a busy day. Spent most of it on Oxford Street, shopping up a storm! I bought anything I wanted, but I was careful about how it looked on me and whether it was stylish yet casual and free-spirited (sort of like me!).
There was a very significant incident which took place at Green Park Tube Station. I was changing tubelines and there were quite a few people on the platform. I don't speedwalk, but I'm not slow either. And I specifically remember walking quite quickly because I was eager to start shopping... LOL. At one point I heard a woman sort of make a frustrated noise, like a "grrrr" sort of sound. So I turned to my right and there was a woman immediately behind me, trying to overtake me whilst simultaneously turning into the LEFT passageway. As she overtook me (coz I slowed down for a second to let her go past), she said under her breath "fatso". I was a bit surprised coz it was clear she was agitated, but I hadn't done anything to her. I hadn't even held her up. The only reason why she couldn't take a left turn was coz she was trying to walk faster than me AND cut in front of me at once... LOL. She just wasn't fast enough!
It bothered me for a second. But I probably would have forgotten it by now, except I made sure I remembered so I could write it here. I guess it did hurt my feelings... but whatever... I won't be a "fatso" all my life. And once I finally lose the weight nobody will be able to say that word to me again.
Interesting how some people seem to think they are entitled to talk to me like that though. I wonder how she would have felt if I'd muttered under my breath "insecure and sexually frustrated"... LOL. Coz in order for her to say something like that to an overweight stranger, she'd probably have to have some emotional insecurities.
Anyhoo.. shopped up a storm, just as I hoped I would! I have enough clothing now to start my new job. Everything I bought was stylish yet casual (just like I was hoping for). And I'm happy with my purchase. Feel a bit guilty about spending that much money though... LOL. But I'm starting to realise that no matter what my size currently is, I still have to treat myself as though I recognise I'm beautiful. Otherwise I'll forget (as so many larger women forget) that I AM beautiful!
Okey dokey... today's menu was:
Breakfast: 2 Eggs, 2 Toasts, 2 tsp margarine, 2 coffees, 2 tsp sugar, and 2 little doses of skimmed milk. Also a packet of Waitrose vege sausages (I sincerely hope they are sin free.. LOL) (1 Healthy Choice A, 1 Healthy choice B, and 6 Sins). I like spoiling myself with a big hearty breakfast once a week.
Lunch: Nothing really, but I had a diet softdrink during the day
Dinner: Rice, Potatoes, an Eggplant, Onion, and probably a tablespoon of oil (it was in the curry paste I used for my recipe) (1 Healthy Choice B).
Not bad again today. Almost all my healthy choices (I'm always low on milk products if I don't have a yogurt during the day). And only 6 sins. I'll be surprised if I don't lose weight seeings I'm sticking to the SW diet so well.
Monday, 18th August, 2003
Well, it's first day on the job. Not that I'd know much about that, coz I was in training all day! But I must say that I'm quite pleased with the quality of training my new employer is willing to invest in me. It goes to show that they consider me a permanent employee. Nice change... :)
I don't have much diet related to say today, except that lunch was provided and although I wasn't perfect, I think I did okay. Menu to follow:
Breakfast: A collection of fruit, blended into a smoothy (free)
Lunch: Jacket potato with baked beans (free)
Dinner: Hmmm... I had rice and a vege curry. It was left overs from last night and it had 9 sins worth of creamed coconut. But I think it's okay coz that's a total of 24 sins today and 12 of those can go to Healthy options. Also salad with dressing (6 sins)
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Morning Snack - Muller Lite Chocolate Yogurt and a Banana (Free foods)
Lunch - Batchelors Brocolli and Cheese Pasta and Sauce packet with lots of fresch spinach and basil (free foods)
Straight after work - Large glass of Diet Coke
Dinner - 2 cups(ish) of Rice, A tin of Sardines in tomato sauce, a tin of Tomatoes, 2 tablespoons of Peanut Butter, Curry Powder, Soy Sauce (maybe a tablespoon, if that). I cooked it up into one of my favourite dishes. The recipe doesn't have a name, but it's delish and is a total of 18.5 sins. Considering 12 of those sins are supposed to be counted as healthy extras, I think I did good today, only using 6.5 of the 10 or so sins I'm allowed for the day.
2 Tablespoons Olive Oil for Dressing(2 Healthy Options)
Spaghetti and Salad (free)
1 Tablespoon Olive Oil (1 healthy choice Options)
2 x Corn on the cobs (free)
Home made hummous with 1 tblspn Tahini (1 healthy choice option)
Sugar free soft drink and mixed green salad (free)
Sunflower Oil 1 tablspn (6 sins)
Two cups of coffee with milk and 2 tsp sugar (2 sins)
2 tsps margarine (2 sins)
2 packets of salad cream (5 sins)
Mixed salad and half an egg (free)
September 2003 Diary
Slimming World in the UK
Atkins Diet article from the Metro - 13th August, 2003
