Topic: Stephen Says
Should Prince Harry go to war?
My vote: why not?
After all, like most people who flunk out of school (Seriously; the ginger-haired wimp had to cheat in art class. Who on earth needs to cheat in art class?), he was given the choice: get a job or join the army. And of course, when you're royalty you don't work unless it's to keep you’re 'good' name out of the tabloids because you still haven’t caught on that that somewhere; anywhere in England there is a paper out there willing to pay thousands of pounds to anyone who can come up with a story on the royal family, no matter how ludicrous that story may be.
(Hmm, I sense a get rich quick scheme…)
So he joined the army and, after a bit of confusion about which army he had actually joined in the first place (I assume that on top of flunking out of art, he also flunked history as he had no idea that England had in fact not been conquered by the Nazi’s and that dressing up like one is considered poor taste.), he did his training and is now a soldier.
Man, I would love to see his hazing video. If Canadians can produce hazing videos as extreme as we have done in the last few years, I’m fairly certain that British ones set a new level of depravity.
So now, having avoided getting a job, Harry has completed his training and has (oh shit!) realized that he’s now got a job. As a soldier. And that means he’s going to have to go to, um, war.
Now far be it on me to wish death upon unemployed leeches who sponge off the tax payer while maintaining a lifestyle that is so much richer than those tax payers who foot your bill (Next week’s article: The royal family as yobs: there is no difference) but I think that sending the man who’s 3rd in line to the throne to Iraq is a very good idea.
After all, the lad has no direction, no real skills (Other than somehow managing to pull hot girls & strippers at clubs)(And he still doesn’t understand where all these stories about him come from…) and no real personality other than being the so-called black sheep of the royal family. With luck he’ll go to war and see the reality of everything first hand and maybe then he can grow a social conscious and maybe be a little like a human and a little less like Britain’s answer to Patrick Bateman.
Yeah, right.
Anyway, I’ve ranted enough, really. I’m just procrastinating because I’ve got to do some dishes and get dinner on and it’s ratatouille and I’ve never cooked it before and I don’t really want it but Elisabeth’s got her heart on it and we need to use this big box of organic veggies up because we’re going to get another one next week. This organic box of food is a little like real-life Tetris – every week food comes and if you haven’t eaten it all, then it begins to pile up. So you need to find meals throughout the week that fit all the foods into it otherwise you’ll keep getting more and more food and then it’s game over.
Mind you, it’ll be game over for me if I don’t get dinner on, so…