Things I learned in management training:
Mood:  incredulous
Now Playing: E upstairs on the piano
Topic: Stephen Says
1) Everyone can be categorized into 4 types of workers. Even if they don't fit into a category, they're still of the category.
2) You can't fire people because they're crap.
3) You S.M.A.R.T. after you W.A.Q. (And numerious other management-speak acronyms & jargon-related B.S. that I'll never remember or apply)
4) Humour is not appreciated.
5) Lateness will not be tolerated.
6) Useful group discussions will not break up the days agenda or slow down the timetable. The tutor will carry on teaching the course while her pupils continue to have productive dialogue.
7) Explain the meaning of every word. Not matter how ovious the meaning of that word is.
8)You CAN fire people because they're crap.
9) Your shenanigans will not be tolerated.
10) Blu-tack requires warming up before it can work effectively.
11) Fierce boredom nulifies the effects of alcohol.

All in all two horrible days of learning things that I already know or will never need to while being talked down to by a lady with a little turned up piggy nose who has never actually managed anyone or worked in mental health and whose idea of tutoring involves reading the policies & procedures manual with emphasis and defining every major word that she reads out in seeming obliviousness to the vacant (and dozey) looks of those trapped in the room with her. As my manager pointed out, it shouldn't hae been called Managing Performance, it should have been called Managing Boredom.