AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I just got a letter saying I passed my dissertation.
Which means I got my MA.
Suckers.

All Work No Play
Urf! No updates, no news, just work, work, work, etc... And the crappy thing is that once we've become accustomed to this, I'll be unemployed/changing jobs. Ah well, there's a party this Saturday which will be fun, as well as the fabled BIG NEWS from Elisabeth's job coming soon.

My book of the moment: 'The Men Who Stare at Goats' by Jon Ronson. I don't know where to begin - it's about all the insane 'intelligence' gathering the U.S. military has been carrying out to fight the war on terror. It involves Jedi warrior monks, mind reading and Barny the Dinosaur. It's alteratively hilarious and terrifying and ALL REAL. Hopefully this will get some coverage outside the UK - I guarantee that YOU WILL NOT sleep well after reading this.

The end of the Empire is upon us.

Umm... Elisabeth's making banananananana muffins and (Jenn) if anyone's feeling depressed about Bush's re-"election" then I suggest you click on the Ted Rall link over on the right. And then click on his editorial page and read his last 3 or 4 editorials. He's the only left-wing Yank I trust any more because he was right all along. (Damn him!)

Er...Never eat bananananana muffins fresh out of the oven. Your mouth is too busy being burned to taste their yummy goodness.

Elisabeth's old job is being advertized in the paper. Pretty crazy stuff; for lack of having a life, here's the shoes a new applicant will have to fill:

"I-- E-- is the UK's leading supplier of photo albums, photo frames and home decoration products. In addition to our home market, we export to over 40 countries worldwide, operating in a multilingual and multicultural market.

"We are seeking to appoint an ambitious and well organized full-time Sales Admin Assistant. Resposibilities include: order and invoice processing, organizing and dealing with customer and distribution queries; filing etc. Good communication skills and service minedness essential.

Etc... I'm getting bored writing it all down and there's 2 more paragraphs. I didn't realize there was so much. Must go now; the muffins have cooled off.

OFFICIALLY: This is the stupidest customer
So this guy and his girlfriend come up to me and ask if I know about this book called the Da Vinci Code and where I can find it. I point to it in the fiction section and the guy asks me why it isn't in the 'true crime' section, to which I reply "Because... it's a work of fiction." He gets angry at me and shouts "Naw, mate! It's just one guys opinion on what really happened, yeah?"

However disdainful I am of people who read Maeve Binchy, whenever someone approaches me to ask a question and they're holding a book by her, I know that it'll be a sensible question because people who read Maeve's (Yes, I'm on 1st name besis with her) books are almost always well read and know their way around a bookstore. People who approach me to ask a question who happen to be holding a copy of the Da Vinci Code are always the dumbest in the store because if they're asking me a question, it's because they've never been in a book store before and are only buying the book because it's trendy.

New Picture Alert!
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: Love
I added some pictures; more to come ... slowly, of course. Click on 'Photo album year 2' and then on either 'return of the blog pics' of 'Order of the Reindeer - year 2.' I know some are old; I'm doing some tidying up on the web page. At least the new ones are somewhat, kinda Hallowe'en/ Guy Fawlks oriented. Sorta.

A Typical Day
Mood:  hug me
Now Playing: BBC- Talking, talking, talking
Today is Saturday. We woke up at 7:30am. Stephen showered, I cooked him 2 scrabled eggs & toast with coffee.

We walked to the mall together because Stephen is working today, and we basked in our typically British behaviour. Up and at 'em!

I kissed Stephen good-day, and sat outside the hairdressers, and waited for them to open.

While waiting, I flippd through a free catalogue for a German furntiure company that sells Ikea-type furniture, but the good quality version, and very expensive. I have taken it home with me, to cut up and paste in one of my many discarded photoalbums for future reference.

I had my hair cleaned up by a friendly local lady, and then made my way to the local market. After buying a pound of mushrooms, and 6 peppers (the market stall workers are starting to reconize me which is nice...I'm starting to be local!), I made my way to the hellish superstore, Morrisons.

They don't have cocoa powder. They don't have sponges. They don't have scouring pads. And according to Stephen's colleague, they don't even pay their workers! It's a shit superstore. I will boycott them as soon as I can!

Oh, and that goes for everybody out there....BOYCOTT AMERICA, BOYCOTT AMERICA! The way to really affect change in that country, is to cut down its consumer base.

Do you realize that Canada has the capabilities to be a self-sustaining country? It doesn't need the States!

And the rest of the world can do without America too! It's just a question of excommunicating corrupt political practices and erradicating middle-management.

But really, the best way to make your voice heard, is to be a selective consumer. I am actively boycotting America when I can, and do my best to live an un-American lifestyle.

[This means, I don't own an SUV (or a car), I don't have satelite (or cable, or a TV), I read books, newspapers, and on-line newsources (and not FOX or CNN), I don't buy Disney, I don't drink Coca-Cola, or Pepsi, or eat at McDonlands, Subway, or any fast food establishment, I don't eat steak (or any meat excluding fish), I look at maps and try to learn other languages, I try to buy as little plastic as possible, and would sign the Kyoto Treaty if I could, and most of all, I do NOT mow the lawn sitting on my John Deer lawn-mowing machine drinking beer, and shooting at squirrels (I don't have a lawn.)

Right, well I've got the second load of laundry going, and am about to make a Rich Chocolate Cake (slurrrp!) and stuffed peppers for dinner. Ain't Stephen lucky---I even bought him cider.

And I am planning on tackling my letters/emails this weekend, but so far I have done nothing. If you are reading this, and you havn't heard from me in a while, remember this lovely British saying:

"You are held in a queue. Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line, and the next available person with be with you as soon as possible."

--E.

HAPPY HALLOWE'EN!

And now we are British
Mood:  hungry
Now Playing: the Japanese Chamisan(?) man being really amazing on our radio
I blame the time change but at 8 o'clock we'd put in our 1st load of laundry, I'd done the dishes and was preparing breakfast, and Elisabeth was itemizing our bills and re-drafting our monthly budget. Amlmost but not quite up to the British standard of industriousness.

"Remember, by 9.30, the morning's 2/3's over."
-The League of Gentlemen

Random spooky Halloween happening: The right-most dial on our washing machine turned 360 degrees unprompted. Elisabeth witnessed it, so I'm not making it up. Any explanations???

Mmmm... gearing up for our favorite Sunday morning breakfast: Pancakes & maple syrup with spicy garlic potatos & mayonnaise; coffee, OJ & V8 with a shot of tabasco to kick us in the arse.

What with yesterday being Protestant work ethic day; today's lounge about get a haircut and pop by the pub day followed by see what the free Halloween heavy metal concert is like evening. And pita pizzas somewhere along the way. Always the pita pizzas.

1 tidy flat, coming up!
Mood:  hungry
Now Playing: My wife singing along to Sheena Easton singing Morning Train (9 to 5)
The Dumbest Customer (A Rant)
BASED ON A TRUE STORY
By Stephen Allin

[The bookseller is quietly going about his duties. A customer and her daughter enter the bookstore.]

Customer: Do you have a book written by Trinny and Susannah?

Bookseller (Points to a prominent display): They?re right there.

Customer: How much are they?

Bookseller: With the 4 pounds off special, it?s 16 pounds.

Customer: Do you have other books by Trinny and Susannah?

Bookseller: Yes I do. If you?ll follow me, I?ll show you where they are.

[All 3 go to a part of the bookstore where Trinny and Susannah?s 4 other books are prominently displayed. The customer picks up two of them ? one has a gold cover and is titled WHAT NOT TO WEAR 1. The other is silver and titled WHAT NOT TO WEAR 2. Without looking at them:]

Customer: What?s the difference between these?

Bookseller: Well... that one?s the first book in the series and that one?s the ? second book.

Customer: How much are they?

[Bookseller looks inside the cover for the price.]

Bookseller: 6.99.

[Pause.]

Customer [quietly]: Do you think we can make a deal on the price.

Bookseller: Um, no. That?s the price. It?s printed on the book.

Customer: If I went to another bookstore would they give me a deal on the books?

Bookseller: No. The price is actually printed on the book. That?s its price. [Pause.] No matter where you go.

[Pause. The customer and her daughter stare at the books. The bookseller walks away. Later in the back room, a 6 year veteran of the business informs him that it?s not uncommon for people to ask if they can get a deal on books if they pay cash.]

Protestant work ethic
Mood:  energetic
Now Playing: Eddy Grant - "Electric Avenue"
Yikes! We've got to have guests over more often - Our flats filthy! Well actually, not really. Not any more, anyway because Saturday's Protestant work ethic day! Of course we do have help: Following a suggestion made by the billboard at our supermarket this morning, we took a trip to the 'Wines of the World' and met some charming chaps named Shiraz from South Africa and they're helping us with the tidying up. Elisabeth's doing the kitchen (A woman's place is in the...) and I've just wrapped up the bathroom ('cuz I'm so full of shit) <--Look Jenn, no asterisks!

Vacuuming's next for me. As soon as I've finished procrastinating-I-mean-blogging.

Elisabeth beat me again in Boggle in 5 straight rounds. She's found a website that allows her to practise and all this talk of early mornings and late evenings at work, I suspect is a ruse to Boggle by herself in her office.

The Boggle Score: 2 games vs. All the rest
Mood:  sharp
Now Playing: Humming Fridge
I am no longer a one-game wonder. Finally I have manged to reach 50 points in Boggle before Stephen. My second time beating him EVER!

Quickly, yes, I am still biking the 15 miles every day, and it IS getting easier. I am busy busy busy at work...and frankly cracking under the strain.

We're trying to plan some exciting activity for this weekend, now that we have 20 pounds to blow!

Stay tuned...

E-